


Camp For Assholes

by Ynnep48



Series: Don't Be An Asshole [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Canon couple, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Humor, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Medium Length, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Summer Camp, Teens, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Tweek, Unrequited Crush, Yaoi, cinnamon fetish, creek - Freeform, south park - Freeform, tweek x craig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 00:32:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 61,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7868074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ynnep48/pseuds/Ynnep48
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Craig and Tweek fuck up and get sent to a Behavioral Camp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going to camp

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! This story might give you cavities. I do not normally write outside of script format so go easy on me. I have never written a Creek fic before and enjoyed poking fun at a few tropes and borrowing from lesser used canon attributes to the characters. -Wink- Long story short, this is fluffy as fuck. Enjoy.
> 
> Edit: I reference a LOT of famous and lesser known Creek writers in this bitch. Give a read, you might see your essence in it.

******Chapter one: Going to camp.**

  


We were being sent to a camp for assholes. At least that is what Craig called it. Technically it was the McKormick (No relation to Kenny) behavioral management camp. Why the both of us? Near the end of Junior year, I might have had a minor breakdown in school and Craig reacted badly.

It was a particularly bad day. Thunder outside, final exams and I had not had any coffee since the night before. A real cluster fuck. Everything was just throwing me off that day. Finally at lunch when someone spilt my only coffee of the day all over me. That upset me just a tiny bit. I freaked out and ran through two NEW glass walls in the cafeteria and into several students. Fists first, I knocked anyone in my way down as I zipped through the halls. I just needed to get outside. I didn't care if glass had torn open my arms and favorite shirt. I did not even care if I was bleeding all over the school. Nothing was going to stop me!

Then when Craig tried to stop me. My sweet, loving partner was just trying to keep me from hurting myself further. What did I do? I punched him in the face several times, glass and all. I don't remember him hitting the ground screaming for me to stop. It wasn't him I was seeing at the moment. He kicked me square in the nuts then took me down with those long legs of his. He locked me in place, pinning me on that hard floor until the teachers came. There was so much blood everywhere.

It hurt a whole lot but it stopped me. We were both mad but made up in detention after a few days in the hospital. A violent confrontation or freak outs nothing new for us but we never brought others into it. This was pretty serious when we got back to school. Thankfully no one would press charges but we would have to pay for the glass, and go to a this stupid camp.

What I was really afraid of was Craig hating me. He had so many stitches under his eye because of me. We didn't speak once in the hospital but lord knows I had a lot to say. Thankfully, the first day of detention, he was the one to apologize to me. The floodgates opened up after that with me crying for forgiveness. Oddly enough, it brought us closer. We have been dating since we were ten years old and fighting since we were eight. No matter how much pain I was in that day, I would rather get taken down by my boyfriend than a high school prefect.

Despite others calming our relationship was "dysfunctional", “abusive” or even "fake" because of how much we used to fight, we were happy. Sure we would mess each other up from time to time as kids but we have gotten so much better. Our good days outweigh the bad by a whole lot. That was our first actual fight in years. Craig was my best friend. Even if he was an asshole. Though, we're both here so maybe we're both assholes.

  


"This is bullshit." Craig droned, leaning on my arm.

  


It was. We were on a bus to this place for the next six fucking weeks. All our stuff was packed in the back, getting hot and probably filled with MOLD! This whole thing sucked more balls than Cartman and Kyle. At least we were going together. I just hope they don't separate us or something. My hand twisted around to grab hold of Craig's. His were always warm and made me feel protected. I've long since made peace with how freaking gay I am. Pretty sure Craig has too since he doesn't even joke about getting girls anymore. It made me smile to know that even in our most hormonal time, he only wanted me. A lovely flame ignited in my tummy that made me cling tighter to my best friend.

  


"Dude, you're putting my arm to sleep." A breathy chuckle escaped his perfect lips with that.

  


Not giving any fucks like I often didn't these days, I kissed him then kept snuggling his skinny arm. What was he gonna do? Push me away? This tall, skinny, dork I was dating loved this kind of shit more than I did. We both loved all this bullshit, couple stuff. Everyone did! That was the whole reason we gave dating a try. Everyone else liked us together and though neither of us admitted it, so did we. It was nice having a best friend you could be affectionate with. As we grew, so did our love for each other. Now we had no problem with holding hands, kissing and other stuff I'll leave out for now.

  


"Think we'll get to share a room?" I cooed into his ear, sweetly. He knew what I was implying.

  


That blank look on his face wavered a bit and he scratched his nose. His eyes shifted to me, a dorky grin still there. "You cuddle slut."

  


He knew me so well. Sure we have gone a pinch further than kissing and cuddling in our beds but that was my favorite. It always made me feel safe and has really helped with my anxiety. Being with Craig has helped me in more ways than he'll ever know or I'll be able to thank him for. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same. Then I see him smile and estranged emotions burst from his usual blank face. Many of us always had a feeling he might be on the spectrum but we just never brought it up. I couldn't stop smiling at him. Maybe us being together has helped him work through his issues too.

Clearly not enough of them though! Since here the fuck we were. A shitty camp in the middle of the hot ass woods with a bunch of assholes. It had a very Camp Blood feel to it that made me nervous. What if a serial killer was just waiting to kill us!? I couldn't protect me and Craig. Sure I got buff over the last few breaks, pushing 135 now, but I sucked at pretty much fighting anyone but Craig. Could Craig still even fight? He was so damn skinny that even his height wasn't intimidating. He might have been towering at six and a few hairs but no one was really scared of him. Man, I can't wait to breach the 5'5" mark so I can say FUCK YOU to all the anti-coffee people. I am a salty little man from all this bullshit.

  


"Man, there is a lot on my mind today."

  


"Did you take you meds on time?" He asked me, concerned like a good boyfriend.

  


"Yeah, I did. Shit, I hope it's not melting back there!" I shout a bit too loudly. The adults shot me a look that made me seek sanctuary in my guy's armpit. "S-Sorry!" I returned my face back in my safe place.

  


Time for our tour of our personal hell for the summer. This place was a repurposed military hospital. There weren't so much rooms as sections all over the place to be divided by curtains. They each had dressers and rectangles drawn on the floor for where our bedding would go. THAT WAS IT! Nowhere to hide our stuff for safety and this clearly meant we would all have to share a bathroom. I hated sharing bathrooms with nasty strangers. There was only seven computers in the far back that had designated times they could be used. Ew, an odd number. No Tumblr for me this summer. We were shown the cafeteria where we would only be given bag meals until the cooks got here later in the week. Lovely. At least the bathrooms looked clean and had the shower wall but also personal stalls for everything. There was a 2:1 boy, girl ratio here so the girls would get to shower first. We were also shown a nice yard where we would have classes, games and other stuff. The lake was nice too. The counselors said we would all learn to swim then how to save a drowning person. Fuck, that was a lot of pressure for one kid!

  


"What if we are afraid of water?" Another kid spoke up.

  


"Tough shit, kid. You'll sink or swim." Replied an asshole counselor. This shut us all up.

  


A few moments later, we were being processed like it was a fucking concentration camp! My medication was taken to be given to some nurse so I would be on a strict schedule. At least I wasn't the only guy here on more pills than Elvis. Okay, I was only on three different ones these days but hyperbole was fun. At least the whole time, Craig was calmly holding my hand and no one complained. He just seemed bored at always. Now and then I would peck at his cheek to get his attention. A dorky bend would appear on his lips then I'd go back to pretending to ignore him. Then came horrible news...each section was for only ONE person! A whole summer, not snuggling up to Craig? That was going to fucking suck! I really didn't like it but was ready to deal if I had to.

  


"We can't be separated." Craig blurted out, causing everyone to look at him.

  


The counselors had noticed our hand holding and flirting and became annoyed. One stepped forward and looked down at us. She was so fucking tall that Craig had barely came to her breasts. This woman was one of the biggest butches I have ever seen.

  


"This is a behavioral camp, Mr. Tucker, not a couple's cruise."

  


"I am aware of that, ma'am." He began, politely. "But Tweek has severe anxiety disorder and um, other problems.” He whispered. “I promised his mom that I wouldn't let him hurt himself again."

  


He slyly turned my arm to show only her all the wrapped cuts from the glass during my embarrassing meltdown. This made the woman's eyes widen for just a second and he stood straight again. That slick son of a bitch.

  


"I'll mark it on your records. You two can take the corner." She tugged Craig's left hat flap. "But no funny business, you two."

  


"Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am."

  


Craig nodded and I feigned an air of sheepishness I long ago abandoned. Just to drive home the act. Then...he flipped her off. The others all gasped. Craig, you dumb son of a bitch.

  


"DID YOU JUST FLIP ME OFF, MR. TUCKER!?"

  


"No?"

  


He seemed to truly not realize what he did. That damn habit of his along with eye rolling never went away. My turn to defend him before he was murdered by a giant woman!

  


"I'm sorry ma'am, he has ticks. He really can't control it-"

  


Craig did it again with a blank face. She and the others looked pissed but just marked it down again as mental disabilities before moving to the next camper. This was a long, boring process but all I could think was how much I loved Craig right now. The moment we got to our designated area, I pulled him to me and kissed his down turned lips until they curled.

  


"You didn't have to stick your neck out like that for me, dude." Of course I spoke this in a whisper.

  


"Don't mention it." Of course he spoke in his usual tone. "Unpack. I'll go get our beds."

  


So efficient and too the point. He left to get the bedding with the others while I was able to relax and organize our stuff. This was always my favorite part when we had sleepovers. Just lying out our stuff and putting them in an easy to access order. Then I noticed something that made me sweat. A sign that read as follows:

  


**Things Not Allowed**

Any illegal substances or objects.

(Obvious need not be stated.)

Computers or phones.

(There is a time and place for those.)

Junk Food.

(Candy, cookies, coffee, chips and similar CRAP.)

**All of these things will be confiscated**

  


My blood ran cold as I remember packing all of that into mine and Craig's bags. Several other kids noticed the signs too and began eating all and drinking of their goodies as fast as they could. One camper was already drunk! Craig returned to me devouring my peanut butter pretzels and my thermos of coffee.

  


"You okay?"

  


"Snacks are going to be confiscated!" I screeched as I shoved a few in his mouth.

  


He munched the crunchy treat quietly as he laid out our mats. It was two sucky nap mats, sheets, blankets and pillows. Very basic but sterile looking at least. After swallowing the dry ass pretzels he finally replied.

  


"That sucks. Hand me my chocolate then."

  


I did as asked and together we made up the 'room' and attempted to put a dent in our haul. They weren't taking my good coffee while I still drew breath! I hid it with our underwear in the dresser. Craig did the same with his many packs of gum. Guy totally had an oral fixation. The faint sound of others, chewing what I assumed was their collective stashes echoed in my ears.

  


"Ugh I h-hate smackers."

  


Craig instantly became self conscious and began to chew more quietly. After we put a considerable dent in our bags, we reluctantly set it out with the others for the freaking Nazis to take. They told us we had the rest of the night to check our mail and say good bye to social media before they would take our phones away. We even had the run of the place and could get our dinners now if we wanted. Last night of freedom. Craig went straight to his phone to text the others and make Facebook posts. I giggled—I mean laughed a bit and decided to use the computers.

  


"Gonna try out the PCs for a bit."

  


He gave me a nod, resting on both of our beds. These computers kind of sucked but they worked. A girl next to me was checking her Tumblr without safe search on. How dangerous! She asked about what several assumed was my weird, hot cousin. How could they not see we were a couple!?

  


"We've been dating for six years." I boasted while checking Facebook for Craig's post.

  


"You fuck your cousin!?" A guy next to me asked, making me choke on my own spit. I got a lot of weird looks after that.

  


"He's NOT my cousin and we-we don't do that...yet." My face must have been so red. My voice was cracking again too. Thankfully they left me alone after that when they saw I was just a gay boy and not a gay, incest freak.

  


It was strange and kind of nice being with other fuck ups. No one even asked about my bandages or the fading stitches on my boyfriend's face. They didn't even give it a second look. They might actually be more crazy than I am...well maybe not. After a few minutes I saw Craig's post! It was several picture of him making funny faces in a room full of smoke or steam. Hard to tell but there was a pissed Indian guy in the back. The post was titled 'Can't find what you can't see'. The post read:

'I guess I didn't hide well enough at the fog shop. Dad still found my ass and put me in this gay camp. (Not an actual gay camp. That would actually be fun.) RIP me :((( '

  


I shook my head, gave it and like then commented sarcastically. 'Right, "fog shop".' That was obviously somewhere he was too young to be hiding in. He replied with a heart. Dork.

And like dorks, we spent a good hour or so, texting each other from across the room. When I got off to ask Craig is he was ready for dinner, though...he was gone. Where could my guy have vanished of to? After a half assed search, I couldn't find him. I went to the cafeteria to grab some bags for us only to see there was one left! That didn't seem right. Some of these fat asses clearly grabbed more than their share.

  


"Is this all that's left?" I asked bored attendant who said that it was until seven in the morning. Needless to say, I grabbed that bag up fast and bailed. I just hoped Craig already got his dinner. He was so cranky when he skipped meals. Where was he? I looked all over, starting to feel kind of anxious. It felt weird not being next to him. I hugged the rather full mystery bag as I continued my search.

  


"Tweek." Came a slightly loud voice that was so nasal it could only be my Craig!

  


I turned to see him in a pair of blue sleep pants with a black and gray One Piece tank top on top of that. His hair was wet but he still had his hat over it. With his black hair and that stitched up gash, he looked like a discount Monkey D. Luffy. I ran over and gave him a tight hug, deeply inhaling his musk. He smelt like cheap camp soap and cinnamon.

  


"Ready to eat?" He stroked my hair, chomping on his gum.

  


"They ran out already, man! I grabbed the last one." I held it to him.

  


"That's just bad planning." He droned, shoulders slumping.

  


"I plan to share mine with you-"

  


I was cut off by him kissing me gratefully. He dipped me, supporting the small of my back as he squished our lips together and pulled back with a loud smack! Cinnamon scented air filled my lungs, burning my tongue! I licked my lips, savoring the spice. This got us a few weird looks from campers and yelled at by the one counselor watching. We apologized then ran to our mats to split of the sack in the sack!

It wasn't too bad of a haul for a crappy camp brown bag. There was a big orange, a salad, a roast beef sandwich full of other stuff, carrots with dressing and a cereal bar for dessert. We split it up pretty evenly. I gave Craig the bigger half of everything, though. That skinny boy needed it. We could not have him blowing away again. After we ate, several other kids joined us to converse and share stories on why they were here. Bradley was there for being an angry gay kid with dick parent. Also he set his old camp on fire. Douglas got caught breaking and entering. Gloria was a teen mother and well...that landed her here. She was pretty cute too but she kept flirting with Craig. I grabbed his whole arm to assert my dominance as the alpha gay.

Around 9:00 PM, we were all told to go wash up and hit the hay. Craig already beat me to it so I had to go shower with the other guys. It was so embarrassing stripping down around other dudes I did not know but thank God for private stalls. The hair/body soap they had was in dispensers. So freaking cheap but again, at least it was clean. I began washing, letting my mind begin to drift.

  


_It would be fun to maybe sneak off and shower with Craig._

_We could wash each other after a long, sweaty day._

_Maybe even kiss under the hot shower spray._

_I'd happily lose my virginity like that._

  


A quiet giggle left my nose. I covered my mouth to suppress all my ridiculous thoughts. Most likely, we would have a strict schedule here and be watched over. So yeah, nothing like that was going to happen by a long shot. It was fun to dream at least.

  


"Tweek."

  


I would be lying if I said I did not piss myself a little at the sudden intrusion of my fantasies. I peeked my head out to see my Craig. He was sitting on the floor, chewing gum and holding something out to me slightly. It was my pajamas! I must have forgotten them like a moron. I would have had to walk out naked to get them!

  


"Thank you so much." I gave him such an appreciative smile that he didn't return. I used to think that meant he was mad at me. It took a long time to realize that was just his face. He didn't need to return every little smile or touch.

  


"I'll be right out."

  


And I didn't need to make him. We did not need to always smile, kiss, hold hands or even be together. It just felt really nice sometimes. I knew it, Craig knew it and we both accepted it. Sometimes we both needed the other's affection and other times, we just did not. That was one of the things that helped us stop fighting so much. We just learned to accept the other's quirks. How else would a spaz and a human statue last so long?

  


We went back to our mats about the same time as everyone else. Those of us on meds were given our night time doses. The campers were nuts until a counselor barked for us to shut up. They all drew their privacy curtains that didn't even fully reach the ground. The lights went out and it was way too dark! Way too open and way to unguarded. Man, was I glad Craig managed to get us a space together. We pushed the mats close together so we could cuddle if we felt like it. Craig didn't seem to be in the mood tonight, unfortunately. We lied on our backs, staring at the black ceilings in silence. Shit, maybe he was mad at me. He was to my left. Time for a test. Casually I let my left hand hang out of my blankets. A few seconds passed before I felt some warm fingers tangle up with mine until they were properly aligned.

  


"Downhill from here." He grumbled softly. "Tomorrow we'll be brainwashed."

  


I couldn't help but laugh through my nose again. Then a bit through my mouth. Giving his hand a squeeze, I rolled over to look him in the eyes. "You're starting to sound like me."

  


"Oh God."

  


He sounded so scared by that and with his voice...yes. I let out a stupid, squeaky laugh before socking him in the arm.

  


"Ow....you're abusive. I'm calling my mom." I could just hear the smile on his face. He soon rolled over to face me again, blank face back to say hello. "We should do something, bad."

  


How original. Everyone here was probably planning some hell before the morning. I rolled me eyes at his proposal but decided to hear him out. What was he going to suggest?

  


_Peeing in the drinks?_

_Setting fire to the ugly curtains?_

_Leaving condoms we didn't have all over the place?_

  


"We should have sex. Loud sex. Right here." There was no tone to his voice but his eyes, while wide, were focused.

  


My face caught on fire at how serious he sounded. We never even got past second base and he was talking about losing our V-cards right here!? For everyone to hear?

  


"Are you insane?" Screeched out in a whisper. Oh how I hoped no one else heard this.

  


"No one is going to stop two gay kids in the middle of butt fucking."

  


I just glared at him, not as upset as I should have been but still pretty upset. He's known for a while that I wanted our first time to be at least KIND of special. His eyes cast downward in what I think was guilt.

  


"I'm sorry."

  


Sighing. "It's okay, dude." I scooted closer to him, sharing my blankets. "You're just an asshole. That's why we're here, remember?"

  


He didn't really smile but I got a dorky titter out of him. There it was at the end of his laugh! A curl at the edges of his mouth. I had to have them so I went for it. Shooting forward, my lips caught the left corner of his. I felt like a sucker fish but it was worth it when he parted those voluptuous lips of his. He let me taste him as much as I wanted and even pushed back against me. I am loving this Cinnamon gum kick he has been on. It made kissing him that much more exhilarating! Like the fire in my tummy was meeting his. Our lower hands remained glued together in the mats while our others went off in different directions. Mine went under his hat. His went under my shirt. I was pulling and fisting his hair while he groped my tummy and chest. I wonder what that says about us. Legs got tangled up in the sheets as they tried to find each other. His mouth was on fire from all that damn, wonderful cinnamon as my tongue lapped at it.

  


"Ngh...my leg..."

  


I stopped to look down at our legs. He had gotten his leg stuck in a very uncomfortable way. Like the good boyfriend I pretended to be, I pulled that pesky blanket up and straighten it out around us. Now we could comfortably pretend to be squids and knot our legs together. But before I could even turn back to him, Craig swiftly pinned me on my back! He drew me in with those eyes of his. Icy cold orbs with one lovely ring of fire around the outside. They weren't always like that. They used to be brown then one day after that trip to Peru they turned mostly blue. Also he could shoot eye lasers sometimes. That couldn't be good for his corneas. Regardless of all that, they were beautiful. They made him so sexy when he focused on only me with them. My heart raced as my smile grew for him.

  


"I love you." Gently escaped from my grin.

  


Only two things could get Craig Tucker's face to flush like it did. Guinea Pigs in party hats or me saying I loved him. Hence why I chose to never say it much. Made the following so much sweeter.

  


"Fuck you...fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

  


He flipped me off, glaring with his entire face boiling before dropping his weight on me, hiding his face in my neck.

  


"Fuck your face, fuck your eyebrows, fuck your feet, fuck your face, fuck your voice, fuck your coffee, fuck your birds, fuck your whole life!" He screamed, completely muffled by my throat that he soon began kissing. He licked and nuzzled lovingly at my jugular, stricken by the emotions he could never express normally. They always came out in a weird mix. He loved on my neck, pulled my hair, called me names, hugged me and sometimes even cried. My dear Craig just couldn't handle feels. Not that I was complaining. This all felt great. Finally he returned to my mouth, nipping and sucking at my lips until they swelled. He was good about not leaving hickeys but awful about not leaving my lips swollen.

  


"Fuck you too, dude." I whisper into his mouth, stroking that silky hair under his chullo hat.

  


Craig made such sweet sounds when he could not handle his emotions any longer. A lovely mixture of breathy groans and soundless cries for attention. We knew others nearby could probably hear us but who the hell cares? It wasn't like we were trying to be loud or draw attention. We just forget where we are sometimes. This was one of those times.

  


“Pay attention to me.” Puffed from Craig's luscious lips.

  


He was so needy at times like this. I loved it. Ripping that hat off his head, I dug my fingers into his charcoal hair. Even after being washed in that cheap ass soap, it was still like silk. Eager whines oozed from him as his kisses found their way back to my mouth. He bit down on my bottom lip, sucking it until I whimpered. I could hear a few other campers whisper “What the fuck” in the background. Criag was being loud with his affections on purpose. Probably to pay me back for making him feel feelings.

Craig then threw his leg over me, dropping his pelvis down on my hips. He was straddling me! His palms were pressed to my chest, his nails were digging into my shirt. What was he planning?

  


"Y'know, I can't wait to do this to you for real one day.” His nasal voice uttered in such a strange way. It was lewd.

  


What the hell was he getting at? He popped up on his knees, just hovering over my crotch. My trouble making boyfriend started rocking his hips in an erotic fashion, never actually touching me! His index finger was brought to his mouth and he bit it. There was 'pretend' lust in his eyes now before he spoke. "Mmm yeah tiger, gimme that big old meat stick of yours. Mmm..."

It was so hard not to laugh that I had to cover my damn mouth. I flailed my hands for him to keep it down but he just kept moaning and giving me a fake lap dance. This was so weird! Craig was really getting into it, writhing and jerking his hips enchantingly. He was a little TOO good at pretending to ride a dick.

  


"Stop it Craig, someone is gonna hear us." I squeaked. He pressed his hands to my chest and nuzzled my baby face. Okay, now I was a tiny bit aroused. Planting dainty kisses on my cheeks, he took his seat once again.

  


"I want em to hear daddy." His voice was still pretty damn monotone, making this more hilarious when he tried so hard to sound seductive.

  


My lungs were filled with pressure that I had to fight to keep down. Sexy yes, but this was so damn funny! Was Craig trying to get us thrown out of here or something? Because if so, I was all for it. Then I finally noticed that he stopped moving. Craig was just lying on me with his face hidden in my neck.

  


“You okay, Craig?” My hands returned to his hair in a soothing manner.

  


He groaned something that I questioned, still stroking his locks. In response he wriggled against me softly. My eyes widened when I realized why he was so still. His pretend ride made a real mess.

  


“I didn't plan that part.”

  


Now I really could not stop laughing at my simply adorable, wonderful, lovely nerd of a boyfriend. Thankfully, it just came out as a cute giggle instead of a ridiculing cackle. I locked my arms round his back, working my linked fists up and down his back. This soothing motion relaxed him enough for him to cling to my torso.

  


“Are you really p-planning to let me top our first time, dude?”

  


“Yes.”

  


“I'll try not to fuck it up.” I gave him a playful pat on the butt, smirking.

  


Clingy bastard wrapped all his limbs around me, stealing my lips for his own once more. Like before my lungs are pleasantly assaulted with the burn of cinnamon. A feeling I will never get tired of as long as I live. I part my lips for Craig's most skilled muscle to curl around my own. We closed our swollen lips around the other's while he feasted on our shared flavor. Is there even a better mix than coffee and cinnamon? If there is, I haven't found it yet.

After a satisfying make out session, we passed out with our arms all twisted up together. As wonderful as that was, it made getting woken up by a horn at six in the fucking morning suck so much more. We were assigned our camp uniforms. Red, gender neutral shorts and white T-shirts like something out of the damn 70's. They barely covered Craig's thighs and the shirt wouldn't tuck in the way he liked it. I'm not complaining.

  


“I've never felt more sexy.” He droned sarcastically, tugging on his shorts, making us all snort.

  


After all being marched out for role call, we got to have a real breakfast. We were given cereal, milk, fruit and some disgusting choices of drinks. We could have more milk, orange drink or piss poor coffee. I would have to settle for it until I could make my own. We were not allowed to talk above a whisper, slouch, pick at our food or really do anything aside from eat. This was our first lesson on the day. Basic table manners and etiquette. Craig was crushing it despite being half asleep. He had already been through this kind of shit a few times in his life. The rest of the campers...not so much.

  


“Why the fuck can't we talk or eat outside or something!? It's a lovely fucking day and you're keeping us locked in this dank ass building!?” A younger boy snapped. The official made him go eat outside by himself. Everyone laughed at that loser.

  


After breakfast, those of us on them, got our meds before joining the others to clean the whole canteen. This will be part of our routine everyday that we are here. This along with table manners, learning to cook with the head chef and behavioral management would be a daily thing. Everything else would come a week at a time. They were as followed:

**Week One: Swimming.**

**Week Two: Camping and Survival.**

**Week Three: Team Sports.**

**Week Four: Dressing and Dancing.**

**Week Five: The Arts.**

**Week Six: Tests and Graduation Party.**

  


This was going to be about as fun as regular fucking school. I should have hit more kids so I could just go to jail at this point. After we finished our chores, we all had to change into swimsuits. The girls had blue one-pieces and us boys got these ugly blue shorts. They were basically speedos with some leg to them. Well for the most of us. Poor Craig could barely cover his ass with his. Not that I was complaining.

  


“Can I just wear my other shorts?” Craig raised his hand, digging out a wedgie.

  


“Mr. Tucker, shut the fuck up and stop digging in your ass.” The instructor completely ignored him. “Alright, everyone that cannot swim to the left. Those who can, to the right.”

  


I took my boyfriend's free hand and headed to the right side with the others. He shot me a surprised look, trying to halt my stride.

  


“Tweek, what are you doing?” He wore a concerned look.

  


“What? I can swim.” I spat before admitting. “Not that well but I can swim.”

  


The dick looked legitimately surprised, dropping both hands for a moment. A few others were stunned to see me in the swimmer's line. What was the big deal!?

  


“So you CAN swim? Like for real?” I was questioned again but just replied with folded arms and a peeved glance. Craig's lips suddenly curled up when he realized I was serious. “I am so taking to noodling for your birthday.”

  


A harsh blush spread on my face at his words. I had no idea was 'noodling' was but it sounded sexual. The instructor got us familiar with the lake before leaving us swimmers to play while the basics lesson began for the non-swimmers. Most of us just waded around or swam out for fun. I would have been more worried about germs, sharks or other shit if I wasn't so perplexed by what Craig proposed. What the actual fuck did noodling mean? Was that a YAOI thing? I better ask before things got weird. Please don't let him think I am stupid or worse 'innocent'.

  


“Uhh, Cr-Craig...what is noodling again?” That came out so much more meek than I planned it. He turned to me and was about to answer but some dick munch cut him off.

  


“It's totally that redneck fishing thing when you stick your-” He dove under the water a moment. “-In the giant catfish's mouth to catch them!”

  


All the color left my face and I screamed! “I stick my WHAT in a giant fish!?” I spun to my Craig and shook him violently. “I don't want to do that, Craig! Don't make me dick fish! I'm only sixteen!”

  


His eyelids just fluttered like he had no idea what I was talking about. His mouth was ajar as he narrowed his eyes next. After a few seconds he gave me a weird look. “Dude, noodling just means you catch the fish with your ARM in its mouth.”

  


“Oh...WELL THAT ISN'T MUCH BETTER! What if it bites my arm off!?” I kept shaking him.

  


“Catfish don't have teeth.” He then gave my arm a squeeze. “And I don't think a fish could bite through all this beef.”

  


I could feel my back heat up and a retarded grin growing on my face. The others were laughing so much, they could not breath. That was such a bad attempt to flirt...and it was working.

  


“Dammit, Craig!” I playfully slapped his chest, then shoved him lightly. “Why do you have to be such a gay asshole?”

  


“Isn't that why most of us are here?”

  


His tone was so dry it made me dehydrated. Bradley whooped from the non-swimmers side of the lake. All I could think to do was just dunk my dumb boyfriend. Partly for his stupid jokes and partly for wearing his hat in the water.

  


“Abuse! Abuse! I'm just a child!” He gurgled out as I tackled his skinny butt back into the water.

  


After swim lessons, we got to change back and attend all our classes, lunch and got some free time. This wasn't so bad but it was exhausting without some good coffee coursing through my veins. Time to get myself the good shit! My father made me a homemade instant coffee just for this trip. It would be almost as strong as the brew back home and all I needed was boiling water.

  


“This is a bad idea.”

  


“No shit but I n-need my fix.”

  


“You're such a bad boy.”

  


“Yup, but it will be worth it.”

  


“I think you have a problem.”

  


“Holy crap, shut up. Stick to the plan.”

  


We were sneaking into the kitchen when it wasn't time to be in there. Who knows what would happen if we got caught? Would they split us up? Kick us out? THROW US IN THE LAKE WITH THE LAKE SHARKS!? All these things scared me but dammit to hell, I needed my caffeine fix! So I quietly dashed passed the one lady that worked in the kitchen while Craig walked in front of her.

  


“Ma'am, I think I've started my period.” Just as planned, he said it with such a serious face the woman really have to think about it.

  


“Um, but aren't you a boy--ooooh. Oh my...well, do you need a pad?”

  


She was falling for it! Meanwhile I filled my thermos with fresh water before popping it into the microwave. He just had to keep her busy for a minute and 35 seconds.

  


“I'd prefer a tampon if you have one, please.” The polite tone to his voice really sold it.

  


She began digging in her purse while my water heated up in secret. There was another minute left! I waved for him to drag this out.

  


“Can you tell me how to use one again, please? I am sorry.”

  


She was embarrassed but sympathetic to his problem enough to start explaining tampons to a boy. YES! The timer was about to go off so I stopped it before the alarm. Scalding hot water, safe in my container. I signaled him that we were in the clear before bailing.

  


“And that is all you need to do-”

  


“Sorry, false alarm. I just remembered I don't have a vagina.” He just stared at her for a moment then walked the fuck away, popping gum into his mouth. Oh how I love that boy.

  


We rendezvous at our mats where I was already indulging in my favorite life giving sustenance. Craig flopped down next to me, drawing the curtains shut. Hopefully he wasn't too mad about the plan exploiting him. His arm was wrapped around my leg so perhaps he was not.

  


“W-want some?” I offer a cup to my boyfriend, gingerly.

  


“I'm good, dude.”

  


Sometimes it was really hard to tell if he was annoyed or just tired. After downing another cup, I replaced the lid to my container. My blight haired best friend rolled over to face me. Those enchanting eyes of his were locked on to my own. My hands cradled his head, smoothing his hair. I leaned down, planting a kiss on his nose then his lips before sitting up. This got a baby grin out of him.

  


“Thank you, Craig.” My teeth showed through my grin more than I would have liked but it made his smiled grow so much. It was worth it.

  


“Anytime.” His face went back to default.

  


Craig was such a perfect boyfriend that often it felt like I was taking advantage of him. Sometimes I feared that his feelings were just me projecting onto him. Sure, he was sweet most of the time but what did he really think at times like this?

  


**End Chapter one.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for the support in this crappy story of mine. It just started as me documenting a dream I had almost half a year ago and has grown into so much more!
> 
> I am very aware of how rough the first few chapters are. They were written in two days without any spellcheck. One day I will go through and clean it all up but until then, just enjoy the rawness! <3 Thank you all again for the love and feedback.


	2. Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swim Week!

**Chapter 2 Swimming**

  
  


**Craig's POV**

  
  


Fuck, I loved my spaz so much! Those muddy green eyes, his petal pink lips, lion's mane and strong grip on my hair! A euphoric sensation filled my brain whenever I got to focus on them. Every moment with him was like dying and going to heaven. Even this hell hole could not ruin the rapture in my heart! Nothing could. Not the hot as balls weather, not the fact that we were in a brainwashing camp, not the nerve damage in my face from when he socked me and not even how bad he smelled right now. Damn did Tweek stink of sweat, pond scum and the faint aroma of coffee farts. Putting that aside, he was still my Tweek. My heart was throbbing in my chest with so much love for my spaz. I just wanted to tell him but could never quite get it out. Oh well, he understood.

  
  


“ Nerd. Never make me do that again.” I spit out like the social retard I was.

  
  


My sweet, perfect Tweek's face began to droop. Why was I like this? So fucking mean or apathetic towards everyone. Even with those I loved, a bitchy side of me came out in ways even I didn't understand. All I could do was hope after so many years together, my boyfriend of all people would see through me. After a few seconds, his beam of joy returned faintly. Thank God...he saw through me this time. Like clockwork, those scrumptious lips were on me. Intense feelings permeated my being, causing a soft mewl to leak from my mouth.

  
  


“ Anyway I can make it up to you, Tucker?” His voice was like butter and honey to my ears. “I don't mind d-doing hand or mouth stuff with you.” Tweek was licking his lips.

  
  


Alright, alright, alright~! Just the affirmative consent I was waiting for! Firmly grasping his head and jerking it downward for another kiss was my first reaction. It was about time we started getting frisky again. Six years of just making out was driving me nuts inside. Sure I could hide it well but all I could think about these days was letting Tweek throw me on a bed and do whatever he wanted. I just wished my imagination was better so I could keep myself busy until he was ready.

  
  


“ We should go to the woods.” I suggested, lips still locking with his.

  
  


“ O-kay, but let's hurry.” Interrupted by another kiss. “Free time is over in twenty.” Patting my chest, he popped to his feet. Thankfully, he did not let my head drop.

  
  


This is the best day of my life. Fuck everything I said before, THIS would make up for coming to this dumb camp. Slipping passed some other teens playing kickball, we made it to a big tree just before the lake. I felt like a naughty Anime character like this. Awesome. I forced Tweek against the mighty old tree. Those meaty arms of his pulled me in close and we kissed. Obnoxiously lewd, licking and sucking sounds filled the space around us. I totally grabbed that plumpy ass Tweek was always hiding from me, thrusting our hips together. I felt him slipping through my fingers to his knees. No time for romance, he was going for it! He sooo wanted my nuts right fucking now. Something was off. From this angle we could be easily spotted. I better fix that before someone saw our inevitable tryst.

  
  


“ One second.” I spun us around so I was flush with the tree. “Okay, go.”

  
  


Hopefully that didn't hurt Tweek's knees. Why was he giggling as he undid my ugly red shorts? Was it something I said? Or was there something funny going on down there? I was so bad at these thing so I just pet his hair. That was normal, right? Totally normal boyfriend getting a beej action. My shorts and underwear dropped to my ankles. Cold air hit my skin as hot air flooded my lungs. I fucking love this new gum I got so I chewed it diligently to distract myself from getting too ecstatic. My cute boyfriend was about to give me my first blowjob since my birthday back in January. I was starting to think he didn't like it so I never brought the topic up again. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of Civil War. It wasn't a very good one but it was still a blowjob. Tweek still thinks that is what second base is. We really needed to have a talk about the bases. My sporadic thoughts were cut off by a jolt to my stomach. Peering down, I saw such a beautiful site. Tweek held my dick in his hand so gently. Like it was something precious and not just a dick. His lips glistening in the sunlight, he took it into his warm, damp mouth. It was just the head but the rolling of his silky tongue was enough to make my knees buckle. My breath left me for a second. Attempting to brace myself against the tree was not working so I grasped on to Tweek's hair. He didn't seem bothered so I kept my hands planted. The second I actually heard a wet moan escape his throat, that was it for me. Fire shot from my belly, to my heart, down to my thighs, everywhere!

  
  


“ Ow...” Why the fuck did I say that!?

  
  


My sweetheart looked up, so concerned. “You okay up there?”

  
  


“ Yes. Keep going, please.” I say plainly like the selfish asshole I was.

  
  


His smile returned and he took my full 3.9 length into his mouth. Hey, I am still growing. Tweek grabbed hold of my hips, bucking me into his mouth with no troubles at all. Looks like I was just about the right size for him. There was no gagging or choking from him but lots of sweet cries and moans. Vanity aside, it filled me with bliss to know he was enjoying this as much as I was. Well, almost. In no time I filled his throat with my probably bitter cream. A euphoric sensation traveled throughout my body as my cock emptied itself.

  
  


“ Mmm...” Did Tweek really just say that!?

  
  


One of my eyes cracked to see him coming back up, taking my shorts with him. His tongue was gliding across his lips. He fucking ate and loved my spunk! My heart was jackhammering in my chest now. I had the most perfect boyfriend ever. Quick, say something romantic.

  
  


“ You suck dick better than I remember.” Nailed it.

  
  


Was it too late to abort myself? Why was Tweek covering his mouth? Was he about to puke my come back in my face!? No, wait...he was giggling. Was that the correct response? Like a dumbass, I just stared at him, chewing my gum. In return he pecked my cheek then took off running!

  
  


“ Catch me if you can!” His voice cracked a bit as he sped off to the clearing.

  
  


I just kept staring for a moment. “Oh...OH!” Then I went to catch up with him. “Hold up!”

  
  


We played tag together for a while before others joined in. Then we all played until it was time for another program and then dinner. After that, Tweek got his meds and we were sent to shower. Oh how happy I would be if he would shower with me but my dear spaz was still so shy. So I was stuck washing with the other boys while he took one of the stalls. Maybe later in this ordeal, he would open up enough to join us or let me join him. The petite ball of nerves has come so far since the day we met, the day we started dating and even the day we really fell in love. We were in love right? Tweek knew how weird I got at the L word so he saved it for special times. Lord knows I never told him enough. Now that I think about it...have I ever let him know how much I care about him? Surely I have. I am certain that I've at least told the L word a few times. Right? Fuck, now I was over thinking things. Then again, maybe letting THAT word slip now and then would be good for us.

  
  


“ So you guys like, uh...gon-gonna get married or something?” Muttered out that curly haired gay kid. He was always biting his nails or yelling about something. I narrowed my eyes at the question. Was it a good question or a stupid one? I actually had to think about it for a moment. Was I going to marry Tweek one day? It was still kind of early to consider marriage. What was the point of it even? Taxes or for the actual ceremony? Truthfully, it was kind of stupid. Or maybe I am just being a cynical dick again. However, I could not see myself with anyone else. Tweek was my best friend. My tether to this world and my reason to smile. Well besides Stripe. After what must have been a painfully awkward pause, my mind went blank.

  
  


“ Yes.” I said flatly. Not really putting much thought into that simple word.

  
  


“ WHAT!!?” Tweek's voice screeched out from behind me, causing a slight jump from the others and I.

  
  


Did he hear me? Was that not what he wanted to hear? Everyone was glancing between us. His pale face was stained with scarlet and his eyes were as big as apples. My eyes drifted down for a second. Just to see if he was naked. Sadly, no. He had a fluffy towel covering from his stomach down. When our eyes locked again, it hit me. He was trembling. Just because I said that I would marry him one day? Oh shit...did he not want to marry me? Why did that make my chest feel tight all of a sudden? This must be what rejection felt like. Quick you retard, say something to fix this!

  
  


“ I mean, no?” I could feel the others smacking their foreheads.

  
  


“ No...?” Tears were forming in his eyes now.

  
  


“ I don't know what you want to hear, Tweek.” That came out sounding colder than I planned.

  
  


“ ...I don't know. Th-this is way too much pressure! We aren't even in college yet, Craig. Maybe we're taking things too fast.”

  
  


Those were breaking up words! Now I was kind of pissed off. Not at Tweek of course. He did nothing wrong and neither did I. Note to self, beat that blond kid's ass later. Fix this now! I placed my arms on Tweek's shoulders and just hugged him to my naked body. That stopped his shaking at least. Alright, now to correct this miscommunication before it gets out of hand. Tweek was still in a sensitive place after his first meltdown in years. These things had to be handled the right way. Now was not the time to let my own problems get in the way.

  
  


“ I'll gladly marry you one day if you still want me, Tweek.” I gave him the best look of adoration my dumb ass could muster. “But I'd never rush you into anything. You know that.”

  
  


Tweek's eyes. That sublime, radiant shade of green I grew to love returned to his eyes as a smile formed below his nose. That is why I would marry him. Just so I can see the love in his eyes on our wedding day. Those dilated pupils surrounded with muddy green were worth it.

  
  


“ Oh, thank God. Jesus, I thought you were talking about proposing to me tonight.” A nervous vibration came from his throat before he borrowed one of my own speaking patterns. “I am sooo not ready to be a husband.”

  
  


This cracked me up and earned him one more bear hug! The others just gagged at how gay we were being. Fuck what they thought! My perfect boyfriend was getting all my attention for the rest of the night. Once bath time was over, we all headed off to bed. Lights out at this place was at freaking 9:30 on regular schedule. This would take some getting used to. Especially with Tweek downing the last of his coffee next to me. He let out a faint burp, licking his lips. Memories of earlier today flooded back.

  
  


“ Whatchu thinking about?” His sweet voice broke me out of my dirty fantasies. I just stared at him with my usual gaze. At least I thought it was. “Well, you're smiling.”

  
  


I am? I touched my lips to find there was a straight up stupid grin on my face. That's what Tweek does to me. Brings out emotions I forget I have sometimes. All I could do was fall on my side and cover my stupid face with my soggy hat. The human parrot I was dating let out a cackle.

  
  


“ You're smiling!” He dropped to the bed to join me, pecking at my heads.

  
  


“ It's not that big a deal.” Muffled by my hands and hat. “I smile all the time now.”

  
  


“ Not like that, you don't.” His pecks found my lips, capturing them.

  
  


My arms went around his neck, closing any distance between us. We sure were happy for those privacy curtains now. That butchy drill sergeant would separate so fast if she saw how much we made out. Years of slipping passed dad for “dates” helped us learn to be quiet. Most of the time. The head bitch barked for us all to shut up, go to sleep and have good dreams. Oh I know I would. The lights flicked off but I never let Tweek go. Silently, our hands explored the other while our tongues dance in the dark. Such a splendid cliche. My life with Tweek had become one big wonderful cliche and this was only chapter two.

  
  


I broke our kiss with a savory lick against his bottom lip. “Night fag.”

  
  


“ Night queen.” His face went straight for my chest, breathing softly against it. Maybe falling asleep this early wasn't going to be so hard afterall.

  
  


Over the next few days, we all got used to the strict schedule. As much as any of us hated to admit it, the classes and activities were helping many of us work out issues. By day five, we could all swim, dive and perform basic CPR. Tweek was so proud of himself for not throwing up when he used the test dummy. 

 

That teen mother and I both became pretty handy in the kitchen once the chefs showed up and started teaching us stuff. It was great not eating bag lunches anymore too. Even Bradley started yelling less and making friends. That Douglass guy was pretty chill too. The others were alright enough for me to just ignore. Tweek and I have not had any more  _ stimulating _ moments in the woods since that second day. When would we have the time? This place kept us so busy that we all crashed out the second we hit the pillows. On the last day, we all got to race around the lake. Some snooty bitch named Katy ended up creaming us all but I came in fourth and Tweek was seventh. So that was pretty cool, I guess. Tweek never got great at swimming but he did not suck anymore. The whole week was almost fun I would dare to say. Sleeping with my Tweek was the best part of course.

 

Before we knew it, it was the seventh day of week one. Tomorrow would start camping and survival week. They would march us out into the forest for a whole damn week. We would have supplies and there was bathrooms but other than that, we would be on our own with the Headmaster. We have not even med that dude or chick yet. Please don't let them be a fucking cunt like the drill sergeant was.

 

We'd learn to start and end fires and a bunch of other crap we would find out about in the morning. What worried me was how Tweek would take it. Sure, he was a lot tougher than people gave him credit for but how would he handle living in the woods? His father didn't seem the type to take his son camping any further than the backyard. I better go talk to Tweek about this. If he needed to opt out we would have to talk to the Headmaster now. I was NOT going into those woods for that long without him.

 

My boyfriend was practicing his backstroke in the lake with a few others. I watched him for a few moments. A warm filling fizzed up in my tummy just seeing him have fun. Even if it wasn't with me, just seeing him happy was all I needed to feel the same. Gaining some independence was good for him. Not like he was going to leave me for one of these other guys. Seriously, I am the hottest guy here and Tweek was so loyal that dogs envied him.

  
  


“ Hey, Tweek!”

  
  


He came to a stop and waved at me. I gave him a head nod to signal him over. Like a vine in the water, he sloshed over to me, clinging to the peer to climb out. God, he was just so perfect, even when he was struggling.

  
  


“ What's up?” He shook his hair out until it was its usual mess.

  
  


“ Hey uhh...think you're gonna be able to do the next week?” I shamelessly watch the water drip from his body.

  
  


His head cocked for a second before he became indignant. “Oh, not you too.”

  
  


“ Huh?” I question flatly. Did someone else ask him this?

  
  


“ First the camp counselors, then Maria, Bradley, Chrissy, Lori and Gregg and now you!?” He stomped his foot against the soggy wood. “Why does no one think I can last a fucking week in  _ the woods?” _ There was so much sarcasm at the end it hurt. “I was a barbarian KING, remember!?” He flexed his arms, ribs showing a bit. “I fucking went half the winter without a shirt and shot arrows and battled with you guys! I am not a baby...I am a warrior!” He then let out a high pitched roar. It was so damn cute.

  
  


“ Dude, we were ten when we did all that.”

  
  


“ Once a barbarian, always a barbarian, Craig.”

  
  


Then he dove back into the lake and doggy paddled back to the others. I have never been more turned on. Seriously, I needed a cold dip now. I stipped down to those swim trunks I could not for the life of me peel off today and belly flopped in. Not a smart idea but too late now.

 

For dinner, we were given a hearty beef and vegetable stew prepared by the chefs. They wanted us good and nourished before the trek that started at Five in the morning. The asscrack of dawn. Along with the stew we got some bread we made and a cake for dessert. Tweek downed some of his own coffee he snuck in earlier with his food. He really looked pumped about tomorrow. My sight drifted to his wrapped arms. His stitches should be dissolved by now but he kept the waterproof wraps on this whole time. Might be more of a shame thing. Surely he would have some scars under there. He never let me see when he cleaned and put his medicine on. He seemed to think I would see him as ugly if I saw. Oh, he could not be more far from the truth. I reached out and held one of his hands.

  
  


“ Hm?” He smiled at me. I returned the jester before going back to eating. He did the same.

  
  


Surely Tweek had considered taking them off by now. I wouldn't press the matter until he was ready. That would be a bridge he would have to cross alone. All I could do was be there to support him through it. He has become so strong over the years that even his grip on my hand had changed. It used to be so needy and tight. Like I would fly away if he did not hold on tightly. That only happened one time so he had no reason to hold me that tightly. Now a days, his grip was sturdy but gentle. Tweek wasn't as scared of losing me anymore. Even the feel of his hands was different. Yes they were still soft but they weren't a little boy's hands anymore.

  
  


“ When did you become a man and not tell me?” I joked, dryly.

  
  


“ I dunno.” He swallowed some potato. “Probably when you were playing with Stripe.”

  
  


“ Heheh, the old girl requires a lot of love.”

  
  


We all finished dinner, meds, clean up, showers and went off to our mats. Same as the other days this week. Tomorrow our routine would switch up and we would be sleeping in tents or under the stars. Tweek hit the bedding first, just wearing his boxers and bandages. When we first started dating he was so chubby. Years of coffee and sweets would do that to a boy. I liked it. Hugging him back then was like squeezing a marshmallow covered in silk. It felt so soothing to sleep next to him. Now he had slimmed down, toned up and gotten taller. Not as soft. At least that cute underbelly of his and lower body chub lingered. For some reason that made me really happy. The blankets poofed under my weight as did my second belly flop of the day.

  
  


“ Ack! Watch it, Craig.” Despite getting my bony sternum to his own, he stroked my hair how I loved.

  
  


“ Mmmph hmmph mmmph...” I knew he could not understand me with pillow in my mouth.

  
  


“ Yes, I'll go shirtless at least once on the trip.”

  
  


Holy shit, he did understand me. Good job, Tweeker. That earned him a kiss on the neck and another on the lips. Our fingers laced together like always, missing their mates. Soon we were asleep exactly like this. No blanket and still kissing like the gay wads we were. What would tomorrow bring? It did not matter.

  
  


**Chapter 2 End**


	3. Chapter 3 Camping and Survival Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go camping! Warning, this chapter contains peniseseses~!

**Chapter 3 Camping and Survival Part 1**

  
  


A loud ass horn woke us up again! Pretty sure it wasn't even a real horn but just a phone app. Most of us were still not used to it. Especially me with Craig lying on my chest. I  _ might _ have screamed “ZOMBIE” like a girl because I thought he was a zombie, trying to eat my face the second I woke up. I  _ might  _ have also headbutted him. Once I heard him groan and the counselors shouting for us to get up, I realized what I had done.

  
  


“ I am so sorry, Craig.” My voice cracked in a childlike manner.

  
  


“ It's okay...I was trying to eat you.” He admitted, a nasal chuckle following it. “Ow...”

  
  


Thank God he did not seem too mad and no one else seemed to notice. After an early breakfast and clean up, we were dressed in our new uniforms! The same fucking ones but with bright green vests with many pockets and some fitted boots. They gave us 45 pound packs that would have everything we would need for the week in the woods. First Aid kits, water and purifiers, rope, sleeping bags, pocket knives and lots of other stuff.  _ Shit, I am listing again. _ I stowed away my coffee while Craig packed his vice in his vest. Tents were with the Headmaster, assistant and nurse in a wagon. Yup, we were walking the whole three miles out. The girls seemed to have no problem with their packs. Nor did most of the boys once instructed to lift with their legs. Years of working for mom and dad as their delivery made this a snap for me. This was barely a kilogram of extra weight and how did I know that? Craig was handed his backpack next. Being the biggest, they gave him all the extra stuff and-HOLY SHIT!!

  
  


“ Ow...don't look at me.”

  
  


He was completely bent over backwards with his head touching the floor. I knew Craig wasn't exactly a bodybuilder but that could not have been over sixty pounds. Lori and Bradley helped him to his feet while the headmaster screams at him for skipping leg day. Once they got him back up, his knees buckled but I was there to prop him up this time. Our new friends all offered to help by taking a few extra items off him. Bradley took the ax, Gloria relieved him of the water and Douglas snatched the hammer. Finally he could stand up straight and breath. The headmaster marked something down with a stern but not angry look.

  
  


“ Good job on working together, but fucking learn to pull your own weight, Tucker. Good looks will only get you so far in life.” Says the man that looks like Will Smith's stunt double. He put his pencil away, hoisted the fucking wagon filled with supplies and two adults in it by himself and lead us out to the woods. “Move out, pussies!”

  
  


“ Holy shit. This guy is alpha as fuck.” Bradley mumbled to us as he sped up to catch his new crush.

  
  


Everyone seemed to take to the headmaster the moment they met him. Not the assistant though...she was that butchy drill sergeant that scared me. She probably wouldn't be so bad but she still scared me. The nurse was the older woman that gave us our meds and some condoms this morning. She told us they weren't for sex but to store water in an emergency. They were all ex military in this place. That made sense when you factor in that this was an old military hospital and containment center. Holy shit...we were in a containment center!

  
  


“ Cra-Craig...what are the odds of there still being deadly diseases out here?” I whispered to my boyfriend, fear catching in my throat.

  
  


“ Dude, not cool. Bradley doesn't seem like that kind of guy.” He pinched me for his misunderstanding.

  
  


“ Ow! No, dick...this used to be a deadly disease containment facility. What if there is still nasty shit out here and we're walking right into it?” My whisper grew just loud enough for Lori to butt in.

  
  


“ That was back in the 50s. Anything or anyone with something from that time would have died long ago. Most viruses don't even have that long of a half-life. Unless you got a really hot, deep, DANK cave!” She bumped me for being stupid then sped up to be with the other girls.

  
  


I stuck my tongue out at her while Craig and I fell behind. Good, this was how I liked it. Alone with my sexy ass boyfriend while everyone else ignored us to have fun in the front. After a pout, my eyes drifted up to Craig. His face was stoic as always as he trekked along side me. Craig was never a fast walker, packer, talker or really anything outside of thinking but this was silly. The others were at least half a mile ahead of us now. I elbowed him a bit to hurry. He just ended up taking me hand.

  
  


“ There is no rush.” He began calmly. “We'll all get there about the same time.” A smile formed on his face as he shut his eyes. “Just relax.”

  
  


My pout returned because he was right. Stupid, smart boyfriend. I squeezed his hand and matched his pase. The sun was barely out at this hour. Everything was kind of cerulean with streaks of gold shining from the East. Even the birds were just waking up to a few lovely rays of sunshine. The air smelled good, it wasn't hot yet and there were almost no mosquitoes biting us. My heart finally calmed as I followed my boyfriend's lead. We have never walked on a trail like this before. Usually it was with the other guys just doing something idiotic. Today we were just walking to a camp. Together. Hand in hand under the twilight similar to some dumb romcom. I couldn't think of a thing to say to my man, so we just walked in peaceful silence for a while.

  
  


“ You don't have to stay back here with me the whole time.” His soft voice broke my haze. “They might think we're codependent if we are together too much.”

  
  


“ I know.” I let go of his now sweaty hand and sped up a bit before turning back to him. “But I don't give a fuck!” I simply smiled before grasping both his hands and pulling faster up the sloping hill.

  
  


His eyes shot open but he didn't fight back! Soon we were almost caught up to the others that gave us suggestive looks. Douglas even gave Craig a nudge and asked something perverted that made Craig flip him off. While we were gone, Bradley somehow got the headmaster to let him touch his arms. That curly haired faggito looked so damn happy that it infected everyone else. We were all having a pretty good time as we made our way to the site. It was just a clearing next to the lake with some bathrooms, fire pits and...oh no. The showers were outdoor ones with hole ridden wooden doors. The kind that were way too high up if you were under 5'6”. Everyone would be able to see my penis if I bent down and some of these girls were only five feet tall! Panic set in and I screamed.

  
  


“ Sir! Those showers are not going to cover all of us!”

  
  


The others observed my panic then turned to the showers. The tall ones just shrugged while us shorties all began to freak. The shortest girl seemed really bothered by this. The drill sergeant just rolled her eyes as she hopped off the cart.

  
  


“ Then just face away from us and bathe at night. No one wants to see your lil crotches anyway.”

  
  


No one wanted to she hers either! The nurse found all this hilarious as she helped the headmaster set up their tents. They were just shrugging our privacy off like that!? How rude and unprofessional of them.

  
  


My lewd boyfriend leaned in on me. “I wanna see your crotch.” Craig's breath was hot on my neck.

  
  


“ Shhhh—shut up. They'll hear us.” I shoved him. Bad idea. He fell over with his bag and took me with him. Everyone laughed at us then fucking dog piled on us. Some with their packs still on! “OWWW-OW HOLY SHIT!” I screamed at their combined weight forcing me face into Craig's boney elbow.

  
  


After getting yelled at for screwing around too much, we set up the tents. It was two huge ones. One for the Headmaster and all thirteen of us boys to cram into and one for the six girls and lady attendants. That was going to be...cozy. I could already smell the armpits and hormones. At least Bradley seemed happy about the sleeping arrangements. All the supplies, water and food were kept in bear proof chests and a 20x8 cooler by the showers. We got to have a lunch of fruit and sandwiches today but were told after this, most of our meals will be caught from the lake.

  
  


“ Oh Jesus! We'll have to kill fish!?” My shakes returned for the first time in years. Craig held my head to steady me.

“ Or you can learn to catch rabbits and the like. You'll be learning to fish and to set basic traps.” The Headmaster patted my back with his big strong hands. “But if you aren't comfortable, we won't force you to put the animal down yourselves. We understand not everyone can do it if it's not life or death.” He took off his hat. “But I implore you all to take this seriously. This is a survival training.” Bradley swooned at his side.

  
  


“ I've never even been hunting.” One of the girls spoke up. “Me either.” Another girl chimed in, followed by several boys. “I can't even kill bugs.” Admitted a Hispanic guy, staring at his water bottle.

  
  


I was not the only one upset by this. Looks like this was a camp of softer children than I previously thought. We were all a bunch of assholes but none of us were on the killing animals level. At least I thought.

  
  


“ I've done it before.” Bradley did not seemed phased by any of this. “If it is for food than what's the big deal? Sheesh...” He bit his nail and ignored the other's judgement. He seemed to be quoting something from the Bible about murder only being between humans or something. We all became kind of uncomfortable around Bradley after that.

  
  


The Headmaster and other adults told us to lighten up. This was all part of our journey to becoming functioning, balanced adults. Sometimes you had to hunt and other times you had to gather. Those of us that could not hunt would get to learn more about harvesting food from the woods. That sounded a lot better. The Headmaster was a damn good speaker. We were left to finish our meals. I had not checked on Craig in a while. What did he think of all this? I knew he loved animals more than anyone.

  
  


“ Think you could do it?”

  
  


“ M-maybe a fish...but not a bunny.” I have never heard his voice shake.

  
  


Craig was more likely to hurt another human before an animal. He has before! I gave him a backrub as he ate his plum. Once we finished eating was once again, clean up time. Then we were taught to all kinds of neat things about the forest, first aid and even the fishing part wasn't too bad. Turns out we would mostly just have to put the fish in the cooler to cook later. Here I was thinking that we would have to stab them to death! Craig still look bothered. Well for Craig at least.

  
  


“ Wanna take a walk?” I took his hand.

  
  


My Craig nodded and we headed off to explore the path. At Four we were scheduled to learn how to start the fire pits. So we had an hour to screw around and try not to get lost. Several other campers did the same. It was going to be a bitch getting any alone time this week with the shared tents, watchful eyes of the counselor and that fucking open air shower! Part of me was seriously considering giving my virginity to Craig on this trip but fuck that now.  _ I was not about getting caught with my dick in another boy at a camp like this! Well maybe not.  _ At least it was still a lovely day out. Not too hot or humid and I was with Craig fucking Tucker. The hottest boy in school, tallest in class and sweeter than pumpkin spice! It was just dawning on me that we would be here with no parents for almost two months. If I really wanted to, I could throw Craig down and show him a good time right fucking now! So what if we got caught!? What was I waiting for!?

  
  


I gazed up at him with a naughty grin on my peachy face. “Hey, Craig?”

  
  


Was he always so tall and have to look down to me this much?

  
  


“ Yes?” He smiled back. There was love in his eyes right now! That was a gaze even Stripe did not get. That was the eyes of a man that actually wanted ME! “Well?”

  
  


Why had I not done this sooner? Gone through with my plan. Oh right...I'm a fucking pussy. My confidence and labido sank the longer he stared at me. I began to sweat until I had to wipe my brow. Craig dropped his smile then questioned my anxiety.

  
  


“ You okay, Tweek?” He reached out to feel my forehead.

  
  


“ Ye-yes...fuck. Fuck!” I swatted his hand away then stared him down. “I am fucking amazing!” Then I tore off my, vest, shirt and dropped them by a tree. Then I flexed my muscles like a man! “I am the Barbarian King, remember!” I pounded my chest-it hurt-and took off into the woods. “TRY TO KEEP UP FELDSPAR!”

  
  


I peeked back for just a moment to see the all of Craig's teeth. He was absolutely beaming with joy! Lori, Gloria and some other chicks all cheered me on from the lake as Craig gave chase after me. By the time he found me, I was in a tree with a makeshift sword in my hands. It was a broken sign spike but that was close enough.

  
  


“ What kept you, thief?” I roared before giggling.

  
  


Craig's eyes locked with my own. I had not seen him this happy since we were children and it felt good. The lanky teen hugged the trunk of the tree, hitching a leg up. It took him a few minutes to figure out how to climb a tree.

  
  


“ How the hell did you get up there so fast?” He was struggling, much to my delight.

  
  


“ A true barbarian never stops training! Never gets soft.” I puffed out my chest while he reached for my foot. “Ah-ah! You will need to try harder!” And like a flying squirrel, I leaped to another tree branch and swung until I was back in it.

 

“...How the fu-” Craig slid back to the ground and tried to climb my new tree. “Wait up, Tweek! I'm not as good at this anymore.”

  
  


My Craig legitimately seemed depressed that he was falling behind. It was much harder to move his big body with those skinny limbs. So, I took pity on my lover and offered my hand to pull him up into the branches. There was barely enough room for us both so he clung to me pretty close.

  
  


“ I feel like such a seme.” I snorted.

  
  


“ Don't start with that YAOI crap again.” Craig shot me some grimace then grabbed me tight because he almost fell out of the tree. “Why are we up here?”

  
  


“ Duh, listening out for elves. They like to get the jump on you from trees, remember?”

  
  


“ ...Oh shit. You're right.” Now my dork was getting into it. He carefully crawled out to his own branch that barely moved when he sat on it. “What is your orders, my lord?”

  
  


“ Stop being so cute for one.” I took up my 'sword' and pointed out to the rising sun. “Our first mission is to plunder the lands for its riches!”

  
  


“ What?” Craig was about to fall out of the tree.

  
  


“ Let's go try foraging for stuff that won't kill us. You still got the codex of wisdom?” I lowered my sword and jumped down from the tree.

  
  


“ Yes.” Craig hung for a second before planting his feet on the ground. Then he fished out our camping booklet. “Lead the way.” A smile blessed his face again. Just what I wanted to see.

  
  


We departed into the woods to find replacements for our stolen treats. What a quest it t'was! Together, we jumped over rocks, poked bushes with my sword, flipped off a raccoon and even found some edible plants that we brought back to the camp. I returned with clay based war paint adorning my body and face. My sword was at my hip and my loyal thief behind, carrying my loot. Also my clothes.

  
  


“ The king has returned with dandelions and bitter vines! Tonight we will all be regular!” I roared out in my cracked voice.

  
  


The others were stunned to see me like I was but soon started clapping. They weren't sure what else to do. The nurse went to get me my med early while the Headmaster checked out my haul. He looked pleased with my finds.

  
  


“ Hm...not bad, Mr. Tweak. You can go put them with what the others found.” He thumbed towards the cooler.

  
  


Son of a bitch. Everyone else had found berries, fruit, other plants and Bradley was hanging up a whole line of fish he had caught. Suddenly I didn't feel so special anymore. Craig patted my shoulder then went to drop off the greens. The girls were all giggling at me now. They probably thought I was retarded after this display. Well fuck them too!

  
  


“ Don't fucking patronize me!” I spat, not able to control my barbarian rage.

  
  


Gloria the called out. “Oh we're not, hotty!” She winked at me. “Daisy totally wants to suck your dick, though! She loves barbarians.”

  
  


A blonde girl winked at me, licking her lips. A few of the other girls were all giving me similar looks. That was my cue to go find my boyfriend. He was washing plants with madam butch-queen. It was so domestic. I could just see him in an apron, being a cute house husband. Such a silly thought. If anything, I would wear the pants and the apron in our future family. My cheeks heated up. I was picturing a life with Craig. A married life. Our eyes met for a moment. He waved at me...so I flipped him off. He smiled with his eyes then returned the gesture lovingly. I really did love him and even wanted to marry him one day. Who else would have me? Aside from those thirsty thotties acting naughty behind me.

Right on time, we were taught how to light the fire pits. Not with two stick or anything but using all kinds of weird shit. Like dryer lint, Doritos and empty lighters and paper. It was pretty cool to see what you could start a fire with. Douglass was a little too good at it. He was able to light his fire pit with hair and Daisy's glasses. Craig was struggling with his fire pit so he said fuck it and blasted it with his eye lasers once no one was looking.

 

After a while, all sides of all five fire pits were lit up! They were nice and warm to sit around. Us boys got to cook up the fish on a rope while the girls fried up the plants on a buttery skillet. Tomorrow we would switch places to learn both. I even got to make a perfect cup of campfire coffee before dinner. Everything was sort of bland but pretty tasty. The rest would be combined with eggs and cornmeal in the morning as a big ass casserole the Headmaster would teach us to make. We got to just relax by the fires after clean up. Campers all took turns in the showers. With the sun going down, you really couldn't see anything so that put my mind somewhat at ease. I was still caked in drying clay and Craig was covered in tree scratches. We already agreed to take our showers last.

By 8:30, the sun was already gone and so was most of the campers. Eventually, only one fire pit was lit. Butch Sergeant, Nurse and most the campers were asleep now. It was just Craig, Bradley, the Headmaster, Gloria and I.

  
  


“ I miss my baby.” Gloria admitted as she stared at the beautiful stars.

  
  


“ How old are they Ms. Torres?” Headmaster was so cool and caring. He even looked pro as fuck with Bradley hanging off his arm like a trophy wife. Seems he was used to at least one clinger each year.

  
  


“ He's about to turn one. My dad has him right now...I can't see him until I marry my stupid ex.” She sounded more pissed off than sad.

  
  


“ We'll see how we can help with that when the program is done.” He gave her hand a squeeze before standing up with Bradley. “I'm turning in. I'm trusting you young adults to out this fire safely and get to bed.”

  
  


As if it were second nature, we all saluted him, giving our word to be responsible scouts-er assholes. This man just commanded that much authority. He went off to cram into the tent, Bradley right behind him. I shook my head at how thirsty everyone here was. Like I was one to talk. All I could think of was finally manning up and making a man out of the tall boy next to me.

  
  


“ I'm fucking zonked, guys. Can you handle the fire?” Gloria gave  _ ME _ a sweet glance like she could get favors from me.

  
  


“ Kay.” Craig dumped a bucket of dirt on the fire immediately then sat back down to quietly chew his gum. What the actual fuck, Craig?

  
  


It was cold as fuck without the fire! Gloria shivered and dashed to her warm tent, saying goodnight. I covered my bare arms and chest, letting out a whine. Craig seemed to just then remember I was shirtless.

  
  


“ Shit...sorry.” He put his arm around me.

  
  


“ It's too dark now and I still gotta take a shower, you know?” My pouting lips were turning pale.

  
  


He bit his cheek then stood up. What was he going to do? Start the fire back up or something. Nope. My lovable douchebag ripped his vest off and put it on me. I laughed through my nose at how sweet it was. Stupid, because he could have just handed me my stuff from the wagon a few feet away but still sweet.

  
  


“ How about we just go take a shower?” I rose up, leaning into his side.

  
  


“ I hope they left us some hot water.” A few steps in he continued. “We should shower together, just in case.”

  
  


Slick motherfucker stole what I was going to suggest. Now  **_I_ ** had to be the pragmatic one. I just sped up to the shower, ran into one and shut the door. Craig had a blank stare this whole time that seemed to sink.

  
  


“ No. You might try to try some funny business.” I stuck my tongue out but couldn't stop a stupid chuckle from ruining my façade.

  
  


Craig played along anyway. “I promise I won't stick my fingers in your anus and not call you in the morning.” He was stripping off his boots and socks now.

  
  


I snorted. “Promise?” Another chortle came so I covered my mouth. “Will you take me to breakfast at least?” He surely saw my shorts drop from the platform along with my boots.

  
  


“ Oh but of course, my king.”

  
  


The last of his clothes fell into the dirty pile as he fished our pajamas our of our packs. How do I keep forgetting these things? Out of the corner of my eye, I see his pale little ass. So tight, small and cute. We have changed together plenty of times and even walked in on the other showering or pissing...but this will be our first bath  _ together _ . A blissful sigh escaped my person as I stared like a freak. I drew circles on the old wood door as he walked in to join me. As soon as we were both in, I turned on the water and tried not to stare at Craig's dick. Craig however, wasn't so subtle. The perv did not even take of his hat when the warm water hit him for a long ass time. He was staring straight at my penis.

  
  


“ ...Um, Craig? Your hat.” Even snapping a few times didn't break his gaze.

  
  


He did however take off his dumb have but kept his eyes on my body. I just tried to shake it off and start washing. That didn't last long because his hands rushed to push me against the wall. It almost broke with how hard he shoved me. I gasped at the attack! His giant hands glided all over my body, scraping off the mud while his mouth went straight for my neck. So many sensations at once overloaded me, causing me to shake and...well become pretty fucking aroused!

  
  


“ C-Craig?” Gulping for air as water spurted all over us. “St-sto-” Who was I kidding? “Mm, don't stop.”

  
  


Those cinnamon flavored lips soon found my own as his hands slicked over my hips and cupped my butt. I gasped again, giving him access to my mouth. My Craig assaulted my mouth with his smooth tongue and the burn of his fire breath. It felt so good that I had to brace myself on his arms. Oh no. One of my legs was hooking him closer. Our hips were flush against one another. He was so hard as was I. This was so wrong but I wanted to feel it. I wanted to fucking feel how hard **_I_ ** made him. Craig was mine and I was his. This was how we made each other feel and what we made each other do. He bucked against me suddenly. Oh no! That was too perfect. I wasn't going to last any length of time with how much of a mess I was. FUCK IT! I grabbed that cute ass of his and mashed our cocks together.

  
  


“ Ow-Tweek!” He whimpered softly, biting my lower lip.

  
  


I pulled him in one more time and that was all I had. We held each other tightly for a few seconds as cum leaked from my pathetic teen dick. He kissed me again and before I could finish spasming, he joined me. My big dork squirted onto my chest. We just kissed and hugged for a moment before finishing our shower. As we walked back to the tent, fully dressed and clean...we didn't talk. Did that really just happen? That wasn't quite sex or our usual stuff. It just kind of happened. I sure hoped Craig didn't think differently of me now. He kind of was the one that started it after all. In my peripheral I caught him fucking staring at me again! Craig, stop being a creep! A shiver ran up my spine and I gulped.

  
  


“ D-did it hurt you?”

  
  


Hurt? When he shoved me or when we crushed our bodies together? Because that all felt kind of great. I smiled at him, taking his hand.

  
  


“ Not at all.”

  
  


His face became worried. “N-not even a little?” He gripped my hand tighter. Was that fear in his voice? “C-cuming doesn't hurt you at all?”

  
  


My eyes became saucers. “What? It hurts you?” My mouth gaped. “Like all the time?”

  
  


He shook his head and waved his free hand defensively. “No, not always...just when it uh...came out like uh-that.” There was a hint of red in his face. “Hard I mean...that was different. I don't know.”

  
  


“ Oh you mean when you squirt?” Cannot believe I said that out loud. “I did when I borrowed my mom's back massager one time when I first started-” God, this was embarrassing. Just shut up, Tweek. “-wait. Was that your first biiig o-orgasm?”

  
  


He blinked at me then slapped his face. It fucking was! His first full blown, full body orgasm. That meant he must not even jack off that much. Wow, his first big O...and I just gave it to him. A grin spread on my face like butter as my grip grew vice like around MY Craig's hand. I could feel his whole body heating up and see the red on his face. Now I had a new way to make Craig Tucker blush. What a wonderful night this was.

Until we had to cram into a tent with thirteen smelly guys and one Headmaster. You could cut the armpit funk and hormones with a knife. Our sleeping bags were in the freaking middle right next to some fat guy and Bradley. Of course he was clinging to the Headmaster. That boy was so thirsty he made Craig's sense of humor look wet. My assigned sleeping bag had a froggy on it and Craig's was big, grey and ugly. No joke there. It was just fucking ugly. We had to carefully step over our fellow campers to make it to our bags. Well I did, Craig took one big step and was there. I slipped into mine easily enough but Craig had to wriggle around to get in his. His foot kicked Bradley in the ass while his grabby hands landed on my face.

  
  


“ Ow, watch it asshole.” Bradley hissed then went back to cuddling our Headmaster.

  
  


Craig just flipped him off before flopping to the floor. After a moment of catching his breath, he let out a grunt as he rolled to face me. Our eyes fell on each other for a few seconds before I smiled. This made Craig smile but soon hid it with his covers.

  
  


“ It fucking stinks in here.” I whispered, laughing through my nose. Late night meme hunting did this to me.

  
  


I heard the sound of air escaping Craig's nose too now. He then nodded in agreement before scooting closer. The big ape was practically on top of me but I didn't mind. What was he trying to do? I felt one of his hands slip into my bag. He wasn't planning something dirty  **HERE** , was he? I felt him smack my thigh and grabbing around until he found my hand. Oh, he wanted my hand.

  
  


“ Much better.” He let out a yawn as he stroked my hand with his thumb.

  
  


But by that time I was probably redder than our ugly ass uniform shorts. I really thought he was going to do something else for a moment there. Kind of a let down, now that I think about it. Holy crap! Did that make  **ME** the adventurous one of this relationship!? Oh man, that was just way to much pressure. That would mean that I would have to top myself to keep things fun. We already did mouth stuff by the camp and hip stuff in an open air shower. How could I top that? How could I top that without actually having se-

  
  


“ Sweaty.”

  
  


“ Huh?” His blunt statement snapped me out of my wanton hysterics.

  
  


Those eyes were locked on mine. “You're sweaty...you okay?” His tone was flat but caring.

  
  


A basket case smile formed on my face. I couldn't let him know what I was really thinking. “I'm fine. It-it's just crowded in here.”

  
  


“ We should sleep outside.” Dry as ever.

  
  


“ It's too cold for that, man.” I was already shivering at the thought.

  
  


“ Not if we have a thick blanket.” Slow blink. “Please? I...I kind of want to see the stars.”

  
  


Please? Heh, once a barbarian always a barbarian and once a spaceman always a spaceman. Some things never change no matter how much you do. So, we slipped back out into the frigid night air. We stole a thick blanket and a flashlight, then headed to the center. We lied against one of the bits of wood we used as chairs earlier. The sleeping bags, the blanket and ourselves kept us pretty warm. The faint roar of snoring could be heard from both tents. It got a chuckle out of my normally stone faced boyfriend. I fiddled with the flashlight a few times before Craig took it away. Dick. We were silent for what felt like forever. I knew better than to distract a spaceman when he was charting a course for the stars. His arm raised as he pointed out to those diamonds in the sky.

  
  


“ Cassiopeia.” His hand dragged over a bit. “Ursa Minor-” Lower. “And Major.” He pointed off a bit more. “Mars...” He paused to stare harder. “Venus.” His eyes darted around before his hand followed. “Gemini.”

  
  


“ Slow down there, Spaceman Craig. You'll run out of stars.” I was totally snuggling under his arm like a girl.

  
  


“ Just did...” His face grew sullen and put his arm down. “I used to know them all.”

  
  


I rested my head on his chest, soothing his hurt ego. Craig had grown so much, gained new interests and over time gotten rid of a lot his childhood pastimes. He was slowly becoming the man I loved and not just the boy I used to like. Be that as it may, he would always be my little stargazer.

  
  


“ Do you still want to go to space one day?”

  
  


“ Yes.”

  
  


“ Well then...we should either get super smart or super rich so we can go together.”

  
  


“ Okay.”

  
  


**End Chapter 3.**


	4. Chapter 4 Camping and Survival Part 2

**Chapter 4 Camping and Survival Part 2**

  
  


**Craig's POV**

  
  


I was blowing it! I could not for the life of me remember half the fucking constellations that I used to know by heart. Armstrong, Flash Gordon, Tyson, Kirk and Solo would all dick slap me if they saw me bullshitting my way through all of them to impress my boyfriend. At least it seemed to be working. Tweek was not making fun of me too bad and was staying close. I was still fucking humiliated from that episode in the shower. I was supposed to be cool and maybe get some succ on but nope...I fucking came too soon and had a fucking internal screaming orgasm. Like a bitch. Just from that! God, our first real time is going to suck. I just know it. He is going to leave me for a real man one day and I'm going to die a technical virgin.

  
  


“ Do you still want to go to space one day?”

  
  


Damn, that voice was like honey for my soul every time he spoke. Space, huh? I had not thought about going to space in years. Being in a rocket out there, seeing something grander than any of us? Understanding the true meaning of existence? How can you answer something like that in one lifetime?

  
  


“ Yes.” Like that.

  
  


“ Well then...we should either get super smart or super rich so we can go together.”

  
  


Easier said than done but it made sense. I would either have to study so hard that I could become a real astronaut or sell out somewhere and become so rich that I could take vacations in space.

  
  


“ Okay.”

  
  


“ Hmhmhmm...” That cute fucking sound. “Well if Tweak Bros. ever gets big when I take over one day, I'll take you on a date to the moon.”

  
  


My heart was about to melt. A romantic date on the mood with the barbarian king? It sounded like a stories I would write in fifth grade. Don't fall apart you retard! You have talked about dates on the moon before. Tweek won't break you three damn times in one trip.

  
  


“ So you're gonna do the family business thing?”

  
  


“ Duh. I'm only good at three things. Being a barbarian, Legos and coffee.” I heard him sigh.

  
  


“ You're also good at sucking dick. That could make you rich.” He socked me in the arm for that. It hurt. “Sorry.” My favorite spaz was glaring at me now. Fix this dumbass! “You're also pretty good at climbing trees.”

  
  


He groaned, pushing off of me, leaving our nest. “That falls under barbarian.”

  
  


“ Where you going?” Please don't leave me.

  
  


“ To the bathroom. I'll be right back.”

  
  


He made a mad dash with the flashlight. Guess he was more afraid of shitting his pants than of strange new bathrooms these days. When did my chicken little become such a cock of the walk? I made myself laugh.

  
  


“ Now I really am depressed.” I say to no one.

  
  


As the years go by, he becomes more the real him and I just get faker. When have I even been the real me though? I act like that's what I'm all about but I'm a damn liar. Everything I did was to hide who I really am. A stupid, boring ass, nerd with specific interests and no personality. I hate just about everybody all the time and would love NOTHING more than to blast off to space forever with Stripe and Tweek. Say fuck you to this planet forever and see a new one. Even thoughts like this pissed me off. Fact of the matter was, I will probably never leave this dirt ball. I will probably never be super smart or super rich and Tweek might leave me after college. Leave me for someone nicer, smarter and with a real personality. It made me want to bash my head into a wall or shoot myself. I can't even tell these things to Tweek after so long. He had so many things left to get over and knowing how sick I am might just revert him. I love him too much to do that. So I just keep it inside and keep lying.

  
  


“ Hey, dude.” He shifted back into the bundle of fabric. “Those bathrooms suck...but at least they aren't too gross.”

  
  


My Tweek was back at my side. The bad thoughts began to fade into my subconscious He might leave me one day but for now, he was all mine. I put my arm around him as tight as I could without it being painful. He was my Tweek and I was his Craig. No one was going to change that.

  
  


“ My face is cold.” He peeped as he buried his face in my under arm. I could feel his warm, damp breath on my ribs. It felt so good after such bitter thoughts. “You smell so much better than a bathroom.” He was nuzzling me as if he was some cute animal.  _ My other guinea pig. _ I'm sooo happy now. My heart was racing as his arms wormed their way around me. “Mmm...I should take you into the woods again tomorrow.” Awesome. “Goodnight, Craig.”

  
  


“ Goodnight.” I love you, Tweek.

  
  


We were woken up with a smack upside the head from that mean ASSisstant. She yelled at us to not do this shit by ourselves again. Blah blah blah, it broke rules. We were going to do it every fucking night if we wanted to. Maybe not get caught next time. We had to put the tents and fucking smelly ass sleeping bags away by ourselves as punishment. At least we still got breakfast and once Tweek got his pills we were allowed to go on a nature walk with the others. There we were given a better lesson on finding useful plants or some shit like that. All I could think about was getting lost in the trees with Tweek for about twenty minutes. He wasn't even with me right now. My coffee bean was up at the front with all the girls and Douglas. After that barbarian act yesterday, they were all over him and I think Douglas just wanted a friend. It was kind of hilarious to watch Tweek get flustered over all the female attention. They all wanted to hold his hands or touch his hair. It really was cute watching them all fawn over him. Good for him. I wouldn't even care much if it wasn't for that damn Daisy eye fucking my guy. What were they all talking about that was so damn funny anyway? Ugh, I'd have to pick up the pace to hear them.

  
  


“ You all had a city wide game!? That's so cool~!” Fucking Daisy.

  
  


“ Yeah, I watched it! Shit got nuts! There was Nazi zombies and a new kid farted on a Princess's balls! He broke into my apartment!” Douglas chimed it, flailing his arms like a dipshit.

  
  


“ Uhh, I kind of went home for a lot of that part. I was tired and had to work.” Tweek scratched his hair. “It was getting too crazy for me and following a story that deep was just  _ too _ much pressure.”

  
  


The girls all started laughing like that was supposed to be a joke. That wasn't a fucking sitcom catchphrase. He just looked startled and uncomfortable now. His social anxiety wasn't cute or something to laugh at! Where was the Headmaster in all this? Motherfucker was demonstrating how to make medicine from a leaf or something with Bradley. The other boys and some of the girls were finally paying some God damn attention to that and I could catch up to my fucking boyfriend. BUT FUCKING DAISY WAS STILL UP HIS ASS!! Alright, time to assert my dominance as Tweek's future ex husband!

  
  


“ Hey, dude.” I held his motherfucking hand.

  
  


He smiled up at me, cheeks pink and eyes so much calmer now. “Hey, man.” He gave my hand a pleasant as fuck squeeze.

  
  


Just to rub it in that bitch's face I bent down and kissed Tweek right on the cheek. I could practically hear her hate me and it felt fucking stellar. My lover's face lit up at my show of affection that he returned. He threw his arms around my neck and gave me a tight hug, kicking one leg up. That's right! Suck it you bitch and other girls respecting the rules. When the others caught wind of this, they responded with giggles, gay jokes and the Headmaster telling us to be professional. Nope. I spent the whole walk with a bear trap grip on Tweek's hand.

  
  


“ You guys really are in love, huh?” Gloria nudged me along the trail.

  
  


Tweek was going to give one of my pre-recorded responses but I cut him off. I know that cunt-burger was listening in.

  
  


“ Yes. Very much.”

  
  


Tweek tripped for a second, bumping into short ass Bill behind him. “Oops s-sorry. I-I uh-fuck...sorry.” He was a mess at my reply. Good.

  
  


“ That's cute. So how long you two been a thing?” Thank you for asking Gloria.

  
  


“ 6 years and a few months. We just had an anniversary.” I proudly spoke and with as much energy as I could muster. Still not much but enough.

  
  


“ Ooooh what did you two do?” Lori butted in, winking at us.

  
  


“ Oh u-uh we to the home improvement store!” Tweek tweeted, knowing the meaning behind such an awful sounding statement.

  
  


“ A Home Depot!?” Daisy yelled from the back like a bitch. “What kind of date is that?”

  
  


Bitch bought the bait like the fish lipped slut she was. Now I peered back to shoot her a leering smirk. “We got stuff to build a patio for his house together. Then we had coffee on it. It was our wood anniversary after all.”

  
  


“ Craig is really good at handling wood!” Perfect timing my love.

  
  


The girls and a lot of the boys busted out laughing at just the right time. Gay jokes ensued but I did not care. That bitch better know she is barking up the wrong tree. We got yelled at again but it was worth it.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. Just how I like it. We “hunted and gathered” more stuff for our meals. I'm pretty sure most of these edible plants were uh, planted here by people working for the camp. There was seasonal fruit trees the deeper we got and a convenient growth of potatoes and carrots next to some trees. Again, only Bradley was able to kill an animal for food. Except this time he came back with a rope of seven big ass rabbits while the rest were still trying to catch fish. I felt like such a pussy when I couldn't eat the rabbits yet Tweek could.

  
  


“ It really is good.” He ate another bite of rabbit hash and veggies. He even ate it with his hands. Fucking wild man.

  
  


I said fucking nothing and ate my 'wild potatoes'. Everyone was laughing around the fires beside us. We all learned that dyke sergeant used to be a sniper in the Iraq. That was pretty cool because she promised to teach us archery before the week was over.

After dinner it was a wash, rinse repeat of last night. Except this time Tweek showered alone and I went after him. The Headmaster and others were watching us too closely for my liking. It looked like it was going to rain tonight so before bed we were taught about laying out a tarp and a tent cover. Back to the stank tent in time for the rain! No stargazing for us tonight. Just cold ass rain. At least it was warm with everyone huddled together. Tonight Tweek was all over me and even shared a sleeping bag with me once the others were asleep. My beautiful, short, mighty Tweek nestled into my chest, inhaling deeply. I guess I stunk less than these other guys to him. Maybe the distant thunder was doing him a frighten.

  
  


“ Thank you, Craig.” He trapped me with those beautiful green swamps he called eyes.

  
  


“ For what, now?” I legit forgot because of those damn eyes!

  
  


“ For being my boyfriend.” He pulled up and Frenched me on the lips. Then he went back to my chest. Just enough to make me want more.

  
  


Oh how I wish we could make out and touch each other right now. Sadly, it would be a lot harder to not get caught like this. Even the storm would not drown that much out. That wouldn't stop me. Craig Tucker was a lot of things! A quitter, an asshole, a bastard with questionable parental background but not a selfish lover! Fuck I suck, don't I? I do. In fact, that's just what I was going to do.

  
  


I jerked Tweek up to my face. “Shhh.” I covered his mouth then bent my knees to slip lower into the bedding. Time to stake my claim!

  
  


“ Da fuck?” He mouthed as I slipped his pajamas to his knees.

  
  


It was dark and stuffy down there but I could find everything pretty easily. Still no body hair coming in but that's fine for me. Tweek's lovely cock was actually a good inch bigger than mine even if he stopped growing two years ago. Personally, he was just the right size like this. Big enough to rock my world one day without tearing anything. Last thing I needed was diapers in my forties. My long fingers wrapped cleanly around his length, giving him a firm squeeze. Heh, he chirped when I did that. He has no idea how long I've wanted to taste him.

  
  


“ Stop!” He whisper screamed, pushing my face away from his dick. “N-not here, Craig.” I could barely hear that one over the rain but I took the hint. “Thank you...”

  
  


I fixed his bottoms then came back up, not able to hide my sulk. Why the hell would he want me to stop? HE was the one about to get off. Then I saw his face. Poor Tweek was about to cry. That made me feel pretty shitty about wanting to continue. He was even shaking now. I just pulled him to my chest until he calmed down.

  
  


“ I'm sorry, Craig.” His voice was muffled by tears and my shirt. “I...I just want it to be j-just us...” He quietly sobbed against me. “I'm such a chicken shit.”

  
  


I kissed his head. “No. It's alright. I get it.” I stroked his back, cradling his dense frame. “We can try again later.” The guilt of my own sins were crawling on my back.

  
  


He sniffled grossly into my chest. “I'd like that.” Then his arms slithered around me. I could feel his heartbeat slowing to a less worrisome rate.

  
  


Thunder crashed outside, making several boys jump. Before I knew it, half of the guys were all clinging to the Headmaster, me and the only other tall guy here. Greg or something. Bunch of pussies at this camp. The girls were probably not even phased by this shit and actually had room. I could be sucking a dick right now. No. I am lying in a tent with a crying boyfriend and Douglas's ass in my ear. Well, I don't think Tweek is crying anymore. Better check on him.

  
  


“ You okay?”

  
  


His dazzling eyes fluttered up to mine. “Mmhmm...”

  
  


Was he chewing on my fucking shirt? That's kind of really fucking hot. **_BOOM!!!!_** **_Crrrraaack!_** Some asshole lightening struck way too close for comfort. Out of reflex, I flipped it off. This made Tweek giggle, forgetting all about the storm. My hand returned to his spine, gripping his shirt. I really did have a problem, didn't I? No shit, Craig. This is why you are here in the first place. Also because you fell for someone with almost as many problems. Tweek was humming sweetly against my ribcage now. Time to sleep.

  
  


“ I love you, Craig.”

  
  


“ ...I love you too.”

  
  


Tweek almost crushed my fucking ribs. He was overreacting to the L word more than I usually do. Can't really blame him. That might have been the first time I said that in a couple of weeks, months...years. I'm the worst boyfriend ever. Whatever, I still have a cute as fuck blond under my chin. What more could I ask for? For that Goddamn thunder to calm down would be nice.

  
  


The next morning, there was mud everywhere. It was a fucking mess to get morning routine over with in. The only ones having a blast was Tweek and the girls. Somehow he has converted all the chicks here into his barbarian army. They were all shirtless, covered in mud and swinging swords made of sticks around. The girls kept their sports bras on through all this. Damn. After a few days I expected the Headmaster, Nurse or the fucking Drill sergeant to put a stop to this. Nope! They were all about using the barbarian army model as a team building exercise. By day five, we all had to do it. It was barely 65 fucking degrees and we were all shirtless, covered in mud and acting like a damn village. I did not sign up for this. It was lunch time now on the fifth day. Us boys all ate at the fire pits while the girls dared to eat in the lake on slippery rocks. They were really trying too hard to be badasses. Looked like they were doing something else out there too with weeds and flowers. Girl stuff. Not like I was curious along with the other guys.

  
  


“ Think they're planning a prank on us?” Douglas spoke with his mouth full of grilled fish.

  
  


“ Swallow your food, retard. They're making flower crowns. I asked them.” Bradley replied, biting his nail. For once not dick riding the Headmaster.

  
  


Flower crowns? It was worse than I thought. One of the girls, Lori I think then stood from the large rock. She was waving to us so we waved back. They all had dainty flower rings decorating their flowing hair. I should grow my hair out and get a beard.

  
  


“ Hey Tweek! Get over here! We made you a crown!”

  
  


Tweek just about choked on his coffee at the command. “What!?”

  
  


We all busted out laughing. His fan club was ready to turn him into a girly mascot. One of the guys smacked Tweek on the back for being a regular “Pussy destroyer”. I just nudged him to get his ass up.

  
  


“ Well, king. Go get your crown.”

  
  


“ Fuck all of you in the ear!” He finished his coffee before stomping out to meet them. We all watched closely as they showed him something that made him light up. “Badass!! Thank you!” Gloria placed it on his head and Maria kissed his cheeks. They all bowed to him. “Thank you my warriors! As you were!” He than ran back to us quickly to show off his gift. “DUDE! Check it out!”

  
  


We expected something pink and cute but...they made him a damn crown of thorns! It was several dried out thorn vines all weaved together with tips dyed like blood. Probably from berries...of real fucking blood. Who knew with girls? It really suited him and made my heart explode. He was so fucking hot. We were so going to do kinky barbarian role play when we were older.

  
  


“ Now that I have a real crown...” He got an almost psychotic look in his eyes. “BOW TO YOUR KING!” He flexed as big as he could.

  
  


Everyone just laughed at him and called him a fag except for Douglas and Bill. They sank to the mud with pride for their king. Can't let my kind down, can I? I set my food aside then dropped to one knee like I used to do back in our rpg days.

  
  


“ Why thank you, Feldspar.”

  
  


Now everyone was asking who “Feldspar” was and making fun of me. This was getting retarded. Part of growing up should be leaving behind most of the embarrassing shit you used to think was cool. Let this week be over already, I'm going to cry.

At least we got to learn archery today like I was hoping for. We were given a lesson then left to practice as long as we felt like. My aim was dead on but soon retreated as I saw fucking DAISY up in my man's butt again! That bitch was complimenting him on not sucking at this. She was all over his arms, MY ARMS, groping his muscles. The slut was showering him with the affection he wasn't getting from me. She knew it too. All this time I thought she was backing off but she was scouting our relationship for flaws. Now she was complimenting his butt that belonged to ME! Time to shut that shit down. I walked over to give that whore the scare of her life. I just stood there. Just stood there and stared at her, chewing my gum. My eyes told her how I felt more than me words ever could. After refusing to leave my man's side, she pulled a low blow.

  
  


“ Tweek, your creepy boyfriend is scaring me.” She fucking grabbed his arm.

  
  


“ Hm?” He really did not notice me until she called me out. “Oh shit! Hi, Craig!” Sweat ran down his cheek as he waved stiffly. “Already finish your round?”

  
  


“ No.” But I'd gladly spare one for the parasite on your arm.

  
  


“ Oh...heh, just m-miss me?” Those cheeks were like peaches.

  
  


“ Yes.”

  
  


Daisy was glaring at me now. Good. She better know who she is fucking with. We had a mental Mexican stand off with Tweek as the prize for a hot minute until Maria called her girl back. Once she was gone, I took my place at Tweek's side.

  
  


“ What was that about?” He was drawing about arrow and taking aim.

  
  


“ Beats me.” My eyes drifted to the floor. “You keeping up with your journal?”

  
  


“ OOH A JOURNAL!? Like a diary?” Douglas came out of nowhere, jumping on my back.

  
  


“ Argh! Get off me, dick!” I could not for the life of me pry his ass off.

  
  


Tweek shot his arrow, almost getting a bull's eye. “Not that kind of journal, Doug. It's just keeping track of my anxiety and shit. It's for my doctor.” He drew and shot his last arrow.

  
  


“ Aww, that's lame.” He slid off me. “Man, I'd suck a dick for some chocolate.”

  
  


“ No one cares.”

  
  


“ Could always jack it from the confiscation locker back at camp.” Tweek smiled while saying that. Such a thug. I loved him so much. “What? We head back in a few days and it isn't guarded.”

  
  


Doug's eyes lit up like Christmas. “Imma get some fucking chocolate!” He then ran off to make plans or some shit.

  
  


“ As hot as that was, you probably just got him in trouble.”

  
  


“ Whatever, fuck him. He farts too much at night.” Tweek rubbed the sexy dirty out of his eyes. “Man, being a barbarian this long is exhausting. Now that I'm a real king and all...it is a lot of pressure. I think it's time I retire after today.” He rubbed his chest. “Also my nipples are cold.” He started towards the showers. “Clean up my hours, I need a shower.”

  
  


He's only been king for a few hours and he was ready to quit? Man, he is not a team player. I still love him anyway. The remaining campers and I cleaned up the targets and arrows. When we got back to camp, FUCKING thirsty ass Daisy was spying on Tweek in the shower. I am not a snitch but this had to stop. I was about to tell the assistant but she was busy with the nurse. Freaking Maria took an arrow to the foot. Everyone was over there now to make sure she was okay. How the fuck did she manage that even? She wasn't even at the field very long. Back to Tweek! Where was the Headmaster? Having a push up contest with Bradley last I checked, nope. Helping Maria now too. Fucking Daisy set this up! I heard a creaking sound from the showers. Oh hell to the no.

  
  


“ AH! Occupied!” That was Tweek.

  
  


I ran to put a stop to her sexually harassing my boyfriend. That bitch was in there with him by the time I got in there!

  
  


“ I said I'm not done yet!!” He was panicking.

  
  


“ Oh relax, Tweek. I just need to wash the mud off, I won't look. I'm not even naked.” She was trying to be cute.

  
  


“ I AM!! Go away!” Tweek was trying to turn away from her from what I could see.

  
  


I want to hit her so bad. No one was going to help him, he wasn't going to hit a girl and I'm still in trouble. If I didn't act fast, Tweek was going to be molested! So I did the first thing I could think of. Walked in to join them.

  
  


“ Hey, room for one more?”

  
  


“ Craig?” Tweek was confused but relieved to see me.

  
  


“ AHHH GET OUT OF HERE YOU DICK!” Daisy screamed and tried to shove me out.

  
  


“ Um, he was here first, and I'm his support buddy. You should leave before I tell the Headmaster what you were doing.” My hat was getting wet again.

  
  


She sneered at me, let out a frustrated scream before getting the fuck out of my face. That girl was a sexual predator. I would have to keep a closer eye on Tweek and report her ass. An emotional cry came from Tweek, breaking my concentration. My angel was crying. Crying and grabbing my hand. I think he knew what almost happened better than I did.

  
  


“ Thank you...I-I just froze.” He tried to suck it up. “I don't like her as much as the other girls.”

  
  


“ Me either.” I gave him a reassuring kiss on the lips, stroking his wet cheeks. “I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.”

  
  


“ T-thank you.” His eyes winced as he blinked away his tears. “C-can I have a moment?”

  
  


I just nodded and exited the stall. Without even drying off, I went to talk to the fucking Headmaster. Turns out they all knew she was a sexual offender. They took it lightly because she was underage and a first offended. She molested a 4th grader last year. She already served time in juvie. That was why she was here. It was part of her rehabilitation and sentence. Great! Tweek and I were lumped in with assholes and sexual deviants! Needless to say I was pissed. The Headmaster and I were speaking alone by the lake. I didn't care if the others heard me though!

  
  


“ We don't fucking belong here! He had a meltdown and we had a fight! This bitch just tried to rape my friend!” My breathing was haggard. I was about to lose my damn mind.

  
  


“ Mr. Tucker, I am going to need you to lower your voice and your hands right now.” He had a stern eye on me. Was he ready to take me down?

  
  


What was he talking about? My hands weren't--fuck, my hands were up. Both of them were up along with my middle fingers. I took a deep breath and lowered them. Getting belligerent was not going to get me anywhere. The others were watching me from the camp site. They were waiting for a cue to turn on me and take that cunt's side. She might have planned this too. The girl might also be a manipulator along with a child molester.

  
  


“ I'm sorry.” I start calmly, remembering to breath. “Tweek means a lot to me. If he got hurt, I would never forgive myself. Nor would his parents.” I slipped my hands in my pockets to control them.

  
  


“ I understand, son. We'll do our best to keep an eye on Ms. Prescott.” He stood strong and tall over me. “Against my better judgment, I'm not going to separate you two. Just do your job and we'll do ours. If anything else happens, she'll be out of here.”

  
  


A weight was lifted off my shoulders. “Thank you, sir.”

  
  


“ That goes for you too. No fighting, you hear? I know why you and Mr. Tweak are here too.” He lightly punched my arm. It hurt.

  
  


“ Yes, sir.”

  
  


It really was downhill from there. Some of the campers sided with Tweek and I on this while others called us liars and took Daisy's side. Most of Tweek's barbarians sided with him and chose to shun that bitch. Especially after they found out what she did to a boy the same age as some of their brothers. Gloria was ready to fight her but thankfully it never came to that. Night finally came and not a moment too soon. Tweek was in his own bag tonight and hasn't talked to anyone since this afternoon. We weren't even holding hands as per usual. Our backs were pressed against the other and our feet touched through the padded fabric. He wouldn't be mad at me, would he? For not handling that better? Best if I just keep quiet until this moment passed. Several hours of sleep passed before Tweek's soft, gentle voice awoke me.

  
  


“ Craig...I want out.”

  
  


My heart stopped. He couldn't mean  _ OUT _ -out, could he? The kind of out he used to talk about when he was bullied in middle school? The out he wanted that landed us here? I gulped before rolling to face him.

  
  


“ You can't leave me yet, Tweek.” Where was he?

  
  


“ Get your fat ass off me. I gotta pee.” He was under me. Guess I moved in my sleep. Thank God that was all he meant. I was not ready to deal with that side of Tweek again so soon. “I will fucking piss on you.” I rolled off fast. “Thanks.”

  
  


Tweek shot out of his bag and ran out of the tent, stepping on fellow campers. After a pause, I grabbed a blanket and went after him. The cold dirt stung my bare feet. I should have grabbed the slippers they had for us but they never fit. By the time I reached the bathrooms, Tweek was washing his hands. At least he wasn't followed. Might as well go while I was up.

  
  


“ You didn't have to shadow me.” Now he sounded pissed. “The Headmaster told me what was up. I'm not going to let that happen again.”

  
  


I finished up and joined him to wash my grubby hands. “I know.”

  
  


“ You don't have to watch me all the time now.” He dried his hands on his pants then folded his arms because he was cold.

  
  


“ I know.” I dried my hands on my pants then threw the blanket over him. “Maybe I'm just using it as an excuse to be alone with you more.”

  
  


“ Ack! Craig!” He fumbled with the blanket until it was on his shoulders like a cape. “You would.”

  
  


“ I would.” I got close enough to press our foreheads together. “Can I kiss you?”

  
  


“ You don't have to ask that, Craig.” He pouted his plush lips.

  
  


“ Can't risk invoking your barbarian rage.”

  
  


We both snorted like dorks before locking our lips together. That velvet tongue of his teased my own just long enough to make me grab his hair and jerk him closer. My, dear, sweet, gentle Tweek moaned into my throat then broke off our bond. Then he just actually kissed my throat. Electricity shot through my veins when he bit down.  _ That wasn't my dear, sweet,  _ **_gentle_ ** _ Tweek! _ Dammit, I was already hard. Man, I'm pathetic. Tweek bit down even harder, sucking. What was he doing? Trying to mark me? He pulled back with a loud pop. That was exactly what he was doing.

  
  


“ Dude, what the fuck?” I examined a damp, swollen mark on my jugular. “We agreed from day one, no hickies!” They were so trashy and bad for your skin. I fan some cold water over it with my hand. “Well!? Tweek?”

  
  


The smug bastard was licking his lips. “I want Daisy and everyone else to know I'm not yours. You are  **MINE** .” That last bit of poison in his voice stopped my heart. He grabbed me again and put another fucking mark on my collar bone! I would be mad but this was super fucking hot. “Mmm that is also mine.” He shoved me against the sink and bit a new spot on the space between my shoulder and neck. “And this is mine too!” Then he kissed me hard, biting my bottom lip until it almost bled. “And so are your lips.” He licked his own again. “Let's go to bed, bitch.”

  
  


His hand firmly slapped my flat ass, making me jump and jizz my pants like a complete loser. Like that he was fucking gone. I was alone in a bathroom with bite marks, bruised lips and drenched pants. Tweek just made me his bitch for daring to be controlling. Five years ago, he would cry if I forgot to walk him to class. Two years ago, he would get upset if I touched his ass. One fucking month ago he had a breakdown over finals! Now he was like this? Aggressive, even more confident and almost ready to make me a man. Pretending to be dominant or showing me some new side of him, I've never been sooo happy. Tweek really was the man I wanted to live with forever. Even if it killed me. After cleaning up, I ran after him.

  
  


**End Chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5: Team Sports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, some shizzle happens that may or may not be based on some shizzle I went through. Enjoy.

**Chapter 5: Team Sports**

  
  


It was rainy when we made it back to the compound. Mud squished under our boots as we marched back. Squish, squish, splat! The mud was getting into my boots. It was fucking gross. What if I got trench foot from this shit? No, Tweek. You are the king of the barbarians and heir to the Tweak empire. Man up!

We all made it a full week in the woods with no more further incidents! Looks like marking Craig worked better than I thought. Daisy stayed away, girls high fived me and guys seemed to fear me now. It was awesome! Was I actually going mad with power? Best week ever!

Once we were 'home' we all kicked off our boots, stripped down and went to our spaces to rest or to the showers. Yes, even the girls. My barbarians did not care if boys saw them in their underwear. The sergeant was not pleased while the Headmaster laughed. The nurse just joined in before getting our meds. I liked her. We had the day to kick back. At least until class and clean up. It was so hot outside that I needed a shower but first I just needed to get off my feet. Damn this mat felt fucking wonderful after a week in the dirt.

  
  


“ Mmm...”

  
  


Shit. I left Craig at the end of the line! I shot up to see if he made it yet. My guy was just walking through the door, panting, hand clutching his chest. He was soaked to the bone from the rain. The others either joked about him being slow or asked if he was okay. Bill called him gay and clapped. Weirdo. I ran to him in just my dino boxers and held him up.

  
  


“ Shit! I'm sorry I didn't wait up for you, Craig!” I peeled off his shirt and Douglas helped with his boots for some reason. “I got this, Doug.”

  
  


“ I just want to be helpful.” Then he slunk away. “Hi Craig.”

  
  


“ Shower, now...please.” Rasped out of my shivering boyfriend.

  
  


I lead him to the showers, where a few other boys were bathing at the wall and the girls took all the stalls. It would seem I was the only one that gave a fuck about shower nudity or respected shower times for boys and girls anymore. Savages. Craig stripped down and got under a warm spray next to Bill. I turned to leave, only to be grabbed by the shoulder.

  
  


“ You're joining us today.” He said sternly. “Today you conquer a fear.” Fuck, now the others were looking at me all expectant. They started rooting me on while girls joked about not peeping. They were so going to. Everyone was going to see my dick. Over seven years of hiding in Gym were going out the window. “Gotta get over it some day. Don't be a chicken.” Craig winked at me.

  
  


“ I'm not a chicken!” I screeched, covering my mouth when the others chuckled. Just went full Marty McFly there. Never go full Marty McFly. I groaned and threw my hands up. “Fine! Shit...” My boxers dropped and I hung them up because I didn't want them to get wet. Already knew I'd be walking back to my dresser in a towel and did not need to worry about that too. I felt so exposed like this. Only Craig had seen me naked since I was a baby. This sucked so much! “Happy!?” I folded my arms.

  
  


Everyone fell silent. Those assholes were staring at my dick too now! I got enough of that from Craig and now them! A few boys seemed angry because I was much larger than they were. Bradley did not care because this was probably nothing new for him. Douglas clapped for me while Bill giggled like a retard. The girls were trying to keep quiet but I could hear giggling. That creep, Daisy better not be watching me. Craig pulled me in close and we shared a showerhead. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After a moment only Craig was staring at me. Eh, that was just him though. Only thing that sucked was Gloria whistling at me as her and the other girls left, fully covered, thankfully. Daisy was the last girl to leave. The unsettling girl and I locked eyes for just a second. A nasty chill went up my back so I stayed close to Craig. My name is NOT Senpai and I don't play that game.

After we were all washed and dried like laundry, we were given fresh uniforms and a kick-ass lunch! Tacos and fruit salad with our first and probably last cokes of the stay. Holy fuck were they amazing. Not as good as my coffee but still pretty satisfying. Clean up was a drag but it beat camp clean up. Next was anger management class for the day. We mostly talked about our dumb feelings and tried not to argue. The first week was a mess with so many angry teens but this week was peaceful. We were all joking with each other and chatting like old friends. Just what the instructor wanted to see. The biggest turnaround was Bradley. When he got here, he was ready to fight anyone. Now he was kind of sweet. Would we all come as far?

2:30 PM! Finally, we were free to do what we wanted until dinner. I am taking a Goddamn nap with my boyfriend! Where was that sexy bitch? Right next to me, perfect. I took his hand and we walked to our space.

  
  


“ Is it nap time?” My first dude questioned.

  
  


“ You know it.” I took my seat, pulling the giant hottie with me.

  
  


“ Nice.”

  
  


We snuggled the rest of the afternoon, not ready for the next exhausting week. My whole body was sore from the long walks, hunting and just being a badass barbarian. At least I still had my crown to show off later. I hid it in my dresser along with my play sword and coffee.

Craig's big spindly fingers were wrapped around my torso, digging into my shirt. It felt super good. I could feel his heart beating against my back. It was syncing up with mine, I think. Those wriggling worms of disarray in my tummy were passing. Craig made me feel safe enough to fall asleep anywhere. I would take twenty minutes cuddling with Craig over even my strongest sleeping pills.

Fuck, I'm such a gay baby. I was a lot stronger now than I was six years ago. Smarter than I was a year ago. Saner than I was a month ago. Braver than I was a week ago. However, I was not independent anymore. I could not live without Craig any longer, but that wasn't a bad thing to me. I was not really living much before we became close. Everyday was constant fear, OCD, pain...loneliness. He changed that in me and so much more. There was a lot of times I took advantage of his kindness and trust. There was also times he didn't consider my feelings nor I, his. So many things I screamed out of anger that I could never take back. I even left scars on both of us. His face would always be marked by my fist and my stupid arms would never not be mangled.

I still see it when its time to clean my limbs. The way the glass stripped them from the bone and tore out so much meat. I remember smelling the blood and almost tasting the pain in my mouth. Those needles of anxiety, stabbing my frontal lobe. My lungs being on fire while my feet propelled me through panes of glass. I remember my right arm looking like a shucked corn cob and the left wasn't much better. I  **_still_ ** can't eat wings after that. The fact that the doctors could even put them back together was miraculous. They were so ugly now under these wraps. I haven't even trusted Craig to help me change them yet. Only myself or a nurse have even seen them since it happened. Was he still sore about it? How could he not be a little pissed? But if he was, how could he still hug me so tightly and be cool with my mood swings lately?

  
  


“ ...C-Craig?” Why did I sound so scared? This was my Craig and he loved me. I had nothing to fear. “Can I ask you something?”

  
  


“ Yes?”

  
  


“ You aren't mad?”

  
  


“ About what?” He continued, pondering. “Ditching me? Nah.”

  
  


“ No.” I swallowed hard. “About your face.” I rolled to face him, pulling myself into his core. “I know we already talked about this and you forgave me...but, aren't you mad?”

  
  


His enchanting ringed eyes fell on my ugly ones. What would he say? Or do? Would my Craig come clean about hating me or try to make me feel better? Or would he even blast my derpy face with his lasers? Anxiety was filling me at not knowing.

  
  


“ Well?” I demanded.

  
  


Nothing for a moment until he blinked. “What was the question?”

  
  


A groan echoed from my chest and vanished into his shirt once I buried my face in it. How did I fall for such a dipshit? A beautiful, sweet, kind, dorky, perfect dipshit that I did not deserve. Craig's hand went around my head and began playing with my hair. It felt nice. Craig smelled really clean yet musky. He skipped on that cheap soap. The more I inhaled, the more it calmed my spaz ass right back down.

  
  


“ I'm not mad.” His long leg wrapped around me.

  
  


“ Promise?”

  
  


“ Totally. I just look more like a badass now. We should go full thief and barbarian for Halloween.” A crooked grin was on his lips.

  
  


“ Sure, you've already gone full retard.” I kissed him, sucking up his hot, sweet breath.

  
  


Craig snorted before returning my affections. My lips tingled along with my spine. His hands slid under my shirt, kneading my achy muscles. Jesus, I loved this boy more than life. Maybe even more than coffee or my parents. Even with all my overcompensating, I  _ was _ his. My heart, my life and very soon my body would be all his. We made out until we passed the fuck out. Moments like this were what I lived for.

  
  


The next day we started day one of team sports! Time to read our new lists. They were as followed:

**Day one-two would be badminton and red rover.**

**Day three-four would be soccer and catch.**

**Day five-seven will be vollyball.**

  
  


Nothing too hard and badminton was a lot of fun! I wasn't very good at it but Craig was a beast at spiking that danty birdy. The first few games, the boys were bitching about it being girly as you would expect but really got into it after a while.

  
  


“ SUCK MY DICK!!” Bradley roared as he spiked the birdie passed all the other boys. He was definitely trying to show off for the Headmaster. Yes, he still had that crush. Thirsty ass Bradley was not stopping until Headmaster Senpai noticed him...then maybe boned him.

  
  


It was a fun couple of rounds before lunch. Today we were taught to make pork chop sandwiches and salads full of nuts and apples. For dessert we got cheesecake with fruit on it. All the food was pretty damn yummy for such a cheap ass place. Guess with all the price cuts on rooms, A/C, staff and cleaning stuff, they could afford it.  _ My listing problem was getting worse. _ I should bring this up with the nurse. My OCD could be getting worse again.

Time for red rover! Lori, Craig, Douglas, Bill, Maria, Christian and some others all got hurt so the Headmaster scrubbed that from the sports lists. More badminton it was! How I did not get my arms ripped off was a mystery to me. These first two days were surprisingly fun for being team sports. I was always more of a spectator despite not being too bad at them. Maybe it was just the  **team** portion I didn't like before.

The next days of soccer and catch were my best ones! Taking my barbarian rage and years of anxiety out on a ball in the form of kicks and throws was AMAZING! My blood was rushing, sweat dripping,  **MUSCLES PULSING** ! Every time I was called a dick for kicking a ball into another camper's stomach or pitched it faster than they could catch it felt invigorating. It was exhilarating, energizing, stimulating—fuck...it was turning me on. I had to fake panic to be allowed to leave before my boner was noticed. Craig was excused to follow me away from the courtyard. We took a short walk on the trail until we alone. Craig was worried but let me catch my breath before talking.

  
  


“ Need to go lie down, dude?” My sweet, caring Craig. You have no idea how sick I really am.

  
  


I shoved him against a tree, ravishing his lips and subsequently plunging my hand down his pants. He gasped into my mouth as I held a firm grip on his soft cock. I began jerking him off until he grew stiff.

  
  


“ T-Tweek?” His arms wrapped around my head as his hips arched into my hand. He so wanted whatever I was going to do. Now if I just knew what that was. “P-ple-plea-ase!” That shakiness was so hot. “Yes.” His tongue desperately sought out my own.

  
  


Craig's cum was already oozing into my hands but I didn't stop. I bucked by clothed erection against the cock in my hand. Craig moaned my name pulling me closer as I brought him to a second orgasm. Tears were leaking from his eyes, his nose sniffling too.

  
  


“ I want to suck you so bad!” His deep voice had gone up in pitch. Those long fingers pulled on my hair like I often did to him. Damn, no wonder he loved it. I brought my finger to his lips to shush him. His tongue peeked out, licking it with shaky breath. Fuck, it was hot.

  
  


“ Mmm, okay. Anything for you, baby.” Well almost anything. I kissed him again before letting Craig drop much like I did the first week. I even spun us around like he did for me. It was kind of fun re-enacting that day. I stroked his beautiful face as he nuzzled my dick. “You're perfect.”

  
  


His cheeks were daring to blush but didn't quite do it. That simper of his was just as pleasing, though. Craig pulled my shorts to the floor, then my pink boxers separately. My dick had never been bigger, harder or even as straight. Usually it leaned a bit but now it was like something out of a porno.  **_Not that I watch porn!_ ** My awesome guy kissed it. He planted a smooch on my penis. That was super fucking cute. Soon his tongue was trailing up and down the shaft, leaving a light trail of saliva on my skin.

  
  


“ You taste better than I thought you would.” His hand stroked it. “I was afraid you'd taste dirty after catch...but you don't.”

  
  


“ Well that's freaking good.” I covered my burning face. Then jerked when he began sucking on my head. “O-ohh fuck...” I could not look at this head on. So I just peeked through my fingers. “C-Craig-g?”

  
  


His lashes were so long with his eyes shut. My boyfriend's mouth was closed around my cock as he bobbed his head. The was the first time I let him put his mouth on me like this. So many firsts at this camp! I was still very sensitive to this, even if I might be considered an “ _ adventurous fapper” _ . Clyde's words, not mine. That poor bastard walked in on me doing some strange stuff before. He was even the first to figure why I was absent for so many big events. Fap and Legos were my life from third grade until seventh. Puberty hit me young and hard. Before I started getting out, my hands were my best friends...also some rope I own-

 

“Ah-fuck...” Oh right, I was getting blown.

  
  


That fiery, sopping wet mouth of his was simply delightful. Spots of light buzzed around my eyes and a raspy groan drained along with drool from my mouth. I grew rigid for a second before contorting against the tree. My back arched. My hips rolled. Why did this have to end so soon? My creamer was ready and released into my best friend's mouth. All I could see was the sun just over the trees. All I could feel was love flowing through my whole body. I heaved a blissful sigh as my eyes fell onto my mate. He was coughing, cleaning his mouth. My smile fell. He didn't like it. He probably hated it and me now! The good feelings vanished, replaced with real panic.

  
  


“ I'm so sorry!” I dropped to check on him. “You didn't have to-”

  
  


His hand came up to halt my talking. “I-it's cool.” He cleared his throat. “It wasn't bad...just got in my sinus. Ugh!” He was pretty uncomfortable. His eyes were watering now and his nose was running.

  
  


“ Oh shit! Didn't think it would—fuck.” I pulled up my shorts and fished out a few napkins I hoarded just in case. “Here, blow it all out.” I offered him the paper which he gladly took and used. “Better?”

  
  


He could finally breath again. “Much.” He shook his head a few times before focusing on me. “I'm fine.”

  
  


“ I should have warned you I cum like a dolphin.” I rubbed his back, helping him to his feet. He took my hand and we started walking. “You're not mad?”

  
  


“ No, it happens. We'll try again later.” He gently knocked his head against my own. “Did I do okay?” He was already popping more gum into his mouth.

  
  


“ Mmm, you were fucking God like. 10 out of 10.” I clung to his arm. “I actually saw stars for a moment.”

  
  


Pride filled his dumb face. He started to strut with his chest out, free arm swinging on the walk back. Nothing more Craig Tucker liked than a good ego boost. After that, we were both in purely serendipitous moods! This was turning out to be a very beneficial week's worth of camp. The best part was that Daisy really did seem to have moved on. She wasn't staring as much and the other girls seemed to welcome her back into the fold. As much as me and Craig didn't like her, that was a good thing. She a was here to get help after all.

  
  


Finally, it was the second to last day of sports week. We were all playing a volleyball together. Boys and girls together, swapping out each round. I was against Craig this round and well...let's just say we can get pretty nasty when facing off.

  
  


“ You fucking suck dick like your mom you son of a bitch!!!” I screeched out to him as I spiked the ball in his direction.

  
  


“ I hope you die in your sleep!” He hit it to Lori who returned it.

  
  


The others seemed almost frightened by our advanced trash talking but that was just how we played. There was still nothing but love in our hearts for each other. Regardless, I was going to fucking murder Craig! The ball was hit to me and I spiked it again, accidently taking out Daisy. She was told to go take her break and I lost dessert for the day. Dammit.

  
  


“ Can't even kill me, ya little bitch.” He droned at me, flipping me off.

  
  


“ OHHH you gonna take that, Tweek!?” Douglas was really getting into this from the sidelines.

  
  


I nodded to Bradley, Maria and Bill on my team. We got in position to fuck them up this next round. Christian joined Craig's and got to serve. The fight got intense after that with the rock being knocked around at breakneck speeds! This probably was not the healthiest thing for a bunch of angry kids but the Headmaster did not stop us. Maria hit it to Bradley and he spiked it but Craig caught it with his head knocking that shit over the net! Sneaky fucker got the point on that one.

  
  


“ You dick!” I pout while setting up again. “Not gonna lie, that was pretty cool.”

  
  


He just grinned at me and I flipped him off. After a while, it was our last round so I thought I would give his move a shot for fun.  **BAD** idea. The ball was spiked and I tried to hit it with my head and just ended up on the ground with the smell of blood in my nose. Everything was spinning and I heard Craig calling out to me. I am pretty sure that broke my nose and my brains were spilling out into my mouth. As I was blacking out, I was brought into the main building. I don't remember much after the nurse cracking my nose straight and putting a splint on it. Nighty night, everyone. Tweek out!

  
  


I awoke several hours later to the dim light of my 'room' and a lovely feeling in my tummy. I couldn't quite open my eyes yet but I could hear just fine. Lewd sucking, slurping and kissing was coming from between my legs. What an amazing way to wake up in the what I assume was afternoon. A loving blow job from the greatest boyfriend in the world. That tongue of his was working overtime down there. Doing its best to ease my pain. Oh how I loved my raven haired, lanky, beautiful dork. A sweet moan escaped me just to show my appreciation. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful mate?

  
  


“ Mmm...thank you.”

  
  


Strange. Almost three minutes passed and I haven't cum yet. He was doing alright but something was off. It wasn't as hot as before. Not hot as in sexy. This was plenty sexy. It was his mouth. Craig's spit was always hot yet fresh from that gum of his. Why was it different this time? Was it just me or something? I cracked one of my eyes to check on him. What I saw stopped my heart.

  
  


**Blonde. Hair.**

  
  


“ Dai-” I was cut off by teeth sinking into my tender flesh hard enough to leave marks.

  
  


“ Make a sound...” Her voice was muffled by my now very soft cock. “And I will bite it off.”

  
  


I held my breath, praying for my heart to just start again. Jesus, why was this happening? She went back to devouring my length and began jerking me off until I was somewhat hard again. Salt water trickled from my eyes as I tried to think of a way out of this. A way that did not end with my dick mutilated. I could scream but she would bite. I could try to kick or move away quickly but she might have a strong grip on me. If I could just get free, I could take her but I was helpless like this. Her nails dug into be testicles now. Sharp pain surged through me. All I could do was sniffle like a fucking pussy. Never taking her hands off my bits, she began to straddle me. Oh God. She was going to full on rape me.

  
  


“ Don't.” I gulped, blood starting to drain into my throat again. “Please, Daisy.”

  
  


“ You shut the fuck up, Mark.” She squeezed my dick hard. “You're a fucking man. You are supposed to want this. Quit being a little bitch and get hard you useless piece of shit.” Her pupils were pinpoints. “You aren't even a fucking man if you can't make a woman cum.”

  
  


What the actual fuck was she talking about? Who the hell was Mark? It hit me then that it wasn't me she was after. It was someone else and I was just filling their place. This girl was sicker than I thought. I would feel bad if I wasn't so scared.

  
  


“ What the fuck!?” A nasal voice boomed from behind her.

  
  


It was my Craig to save the day! He saw my tears and silent cries for help and came to my rescue. Daisy's gaze shot to him and her grip finally loosened. Thank God!

  
  


“ That's it, bitch, square up!” Craig got his fists up, ready to fight her. “You're going down you dirty cu-”

  
  


“ ARRRRUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!” She screamed like a fucking monster then jumped to her feet.

  
  


My dear Craig. He tried so hard to get the first punch in, only for her to slug him in the nose so hard he spun around four times then hit the ground like a brick. Goodnight, my love. Seconds later, the sergeant busted in, Bruce Lee style! Legs first, she took Daisy to the ground and pinned her!

  
  


“ Holy shit!” I jumped, covering my exposed body.

  
  


“ You are fucking out of here!” She grabbed the insane girl's arms and with no help, got her ass out of there. “MEDIC! Mr. Tucker needs help!”

  
  


Daisy was arrested an hour later. She was freaking out the whole time and calling for someone named Mark. Everyone was crowding Craig and I as the nurse tried to help us. I know they were just worried but all the noise was a nightmare. It sent me into a full blown panic. I had blood running from my nose and now my fucking dick. Craig was unconscious and bleeding more than I was. It was all too much pressure. It felt like it was never going to end. The needles in my brain were going nuts. I just begged to be alone in the infirmary. After several shots and some bandages, my wish was granted. I spent the whole night by myself, lightly sedated on a cot. Craig didn't wake up until almost five the next morning. The moment he did...he came to me. A splint was on his nose too now. He just stood over me for a moment with an empty stare in his eyes.

  
  


“ Hey, dude.”

  
  


He did not reply. I watched him for a moment more before he crawled onto the army cot with me. His arms curled around my center, pulling me into him tightly. Again, he wasn't talking but I could tell this was him telling me that he was sorry and loved me. I was still pretty chill from the drugs and his lovely cinnamon scent mixed with the dried blood was knocking me out.

  
  


“ Thank you, Craig.” I craned my head up through his arms and kissed him. “You saved your king.” I heard him snort a bit with a forced straight face. “Night.”

  
  


“ Night.”

  
  


We got the whole day to just relax in our designated area. Throughout the day, the others all popped in to check in on us. Some even came baring gifts. My barbarians brought me snacks they helped Douglas steal the night before and flower crowns. I was so getting their Facebooks after this was over. It was going to be a fun Halloween this year. Bradley volunteered to help Craig or I walk to the bathroom since we were still kind of wobbly. The Headmaster assured us that this would never happen again. Right. Daisy was banned from here and if we wished to press charges later, we could. I chose not to but Craig did.

  
  


“ Fuck that bitch, she broke my nose and touched my best friend's dick! She hurt us both!” His voice was twenty times more nasal than usual with that splint. I was staring at him. He held onto my hand an turned to me. “What!?”

  
  


“ She's sick Craig...just let it go.” I had to fight the urge to cry.

  
  


He groaned, loving me less I think. “Fiiiine. I won't press charges either.” His middle finger extended at me.

  
  


The Headmaster took our statements then left us to rest. Craig was still pissed as we lied on those cheap ass mats and pillows. Despite this, he still held my hand tightly. We lied there in silence for hours. At times we slept and others we just stared at the ceiling. We did not talk all that day. Even when they brought us lunch, Craig did not speak a word to me. However, he did give me his yogurt. I gave him my carrots. We knew what the other liked most. I know it wasn't me he was mad at but that he wasn't there earlier. I did not blame him at all. He saved me from being raped and I will always be in his debt. Back to silently holding hands in our spot. This sullen quiet was driving me crazy. The sun was about to set and we spent the whole day just lying here like corpses. If he wasn't going to open up, I was. I needed to crack his eight foot thick emotional walls.

  
  


“ You suck dick way better than she did.” Nailed it.

  
  


Craig shot me a look like I owed him a  **LOT** of money. This quickly broke when he snorted, spitting out a chuckle. Dick jokes always got him! We shared an affectionate glance before giggling to each other so purely, our eyes winced shut. Whole rows of our teeth were exposed with how much we smiled.

  
  


“ For real?” He covered further sniggers.

  
  


“ Oh yeah. I even had my eyes closed the first few minutes. Still drugged. I knew that wasn't you.”

  
  


“ Could you really tell a difference?” There was genuine curiosity in his voice.

  
  


“ Oh yeah.” I winked at him. “You were way better.” I had think about it for a moment. How were they different other than she never got me off and he did it in a few seconds. “Your mouth was a lot hotter. I almost burned when you finished...in a good way!” My cheeks are heating up. “It really did make me see stars when you did it.”

  
  


“ Did you see the Gemini?” He said this with a straight face. “Or Orion?” A smirk was on his lips near the end. Dry humor as always.

  
  


I rolled on top of my nerdy lover and gave him a nice hard kiss. It hurt our noses but was worth it. Our fingers laced beside Craig's head as I pinned him into the matts. I was still a bit delirious but I remember just wanting to be with Craig. Wanting to kiss him, hold him and never be apart from him. What came out of my mouth would set the tone for the next week.

  
  


“ I'm ready, Craig.”

  
  


**Chapter 5 end.**


	6. Chapter 6: Dressing and Dancing Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to get funky!

**Chapter 6: Dressing and Dancing Part 1**

  


**Craig's POV**

  


Four years ago, Tweek and I had an agreement. It was a little after his birthday and he came over early one afternoon. We did what we usually did when we hung out. Played video games and ate snacks. Red Racer wasn't on for another hour so I took that as he wanted to go up to my room and kiss. He was sooo into that by our second year into dating. My shy boy has blossomed into an affectionate partner. At first, I thought kissing was fucking gross but with him, it grew on me. Now I loved it and looked forward to sneaking off with him on special occasions just to make out. We only made out like three times by then but they were awesome. He shut the door behind us like the naughty boy he was. My heart caught in my throat as I took a seat on my bed. What were we going to do today? Just kiss? Maybe he would let me see him shirtless again. That was about as far as we have ever gone. It was a good pace for me though. I wasn't ready to see him naked or show him my penis. He joined me on the bed and popped open his laptop. What was this all about?

  


“What are you doing?”

  


“Just watch, please.” He wasn't looking at me.

  


_Four years ago, Tweek and I had an agreement._ Well, more like he gave me a PowerPoint presentation on his computer and I said I was cool with it. My chubby, short boyfriend clicked a slide as we sat on my bed. We were only twelve and thirteen at the time but have been in a relationship for over two years. We were still pretty damn innocent. I was surprised when the first slide came up. I was more surprised that Tweek was the one bringing this up out of nowhere.

  


**Taking My Virginity**

_By Tweek_

  


My neck felt hot when I read the first slide and my eyes drifted to Tweek. He still could not look at me so I clicked the next slide. My eyes widened at the poor clip art of condoms, some kind of oil in a bottle, tacos and kiss marks.

  


**Conditions To Taking My Virginity**

  1. _Must_ _use protection and lubricant_



CLICK—SLIDE

  1. _No_ _Mexican Food for a week before_



CLICK—SLIDE

  1. _Lots_ _of kissing_



  


He was freaking giving me terms and conditions for screwing him one day. I didn't even know he thought about these things with me. The guys and I all kind of knew he had a lot of time alone that he liked to use doing perverted things to himself, but this? Tweek wanted me to put my dick in him one day. Possibly soon! Was that what I wanted? I was still denying I was gay to his face at least once a week. Even if it clearly hurt him. Still did it. I'm such a jackass. I at least owed it to him to consider his terms.

I reviewed the slides for a moment. These all made sense so when he asked me if these were okay, I nodded and took his hand. He wanted to be safe, not gross and romantic. All things I wanted too one day. Tweek was far too sweet for a cynical asshole like I was. He deserved better than that. When we finally did it, I was going to make sure he was happy. I was going to fucking erase all the pain life caused him. This was my new goal! Go to space, have a Guinea pig farm and make Tweek feel better than he ever has before. I was going to show him stars! My lovable spaz deserved that much. He clicked to another slide that was in all bold, flashing letters.

  


**BIGGEST CONDITION**

**_We must be completely alone!!!_ **

_(In case one of us is a screamer)_

  


That was embarrassing to read but again, made sense. We did not need my dad catching me making Tweek scream on my bed. Of course I was going to be the top! No way Tweek would even be the man in this. He was practically my girlfriend and I would have to be gentle with him as such. Like I told myself, I would take all his pain away. _WITH MY DICK!_ Somehow...hope it grows more before then.

  


There was one last slide that made me smile.

  


**I love you! <3**

  


Now my cheeks were stained and he knew it. His first _I love you_ to me. Tweek leaned in, puckering his pink lips. I leaned the rest of the way to seal our contract with a kiss.

  


Four years later, all I could think about was my manly barbarian just throwing me down in the mud one day and pounding my ass. What the hell happened? I was supposed to be the manly one.

Yesterday he informed me he was ready to finally do this. I was excited as could be. Even if I did not show it and knew it would take at least a week to actually happen. We couldn't just go at it all willy-nilly. There would be planning needed for this. A list of items and even a schedule. We needed to secure some condoms, lubricant, a private spot and time...and I would not be allowed anything that would gunk me up for a while. I **_had_ ** all this shit ready back home for fucking summer break but we ended up here instead. Oh well, plans change and you just have to adjust. The biggest monkey wrench in our plans would be what Daisy did and almost did to MY Tweek the other day. He was putting on such a brave face and even said he wanted me to be his first before anyone else could try to be. It was kind of disturbing to hear him talk so lightly about it all but calling him out on that was not going to help anything. Tweek was handling this in the way he saw best. Even if it wasn't the best way to handle it. I still think we should have left this place as soon as she got in the shower with him.

We also should have pressed charges. Why would he not want to pay that bitch back? Did he even realize what she did to him? Then again, maybe it is best not to think about it so much. Let this horrible chapter pass.

My handsome spaz was up with all the others while I was allowed to sleep in after that red ass beat down I got but **fuck that**. I was getting up with everyone else. Today was the first day of Dancing and Dressing. We were going to be fitted for suits and dresses then taught to dance in the cafeteria. They would move the tables and a new teacher was going to teach us some stuff. No way I was missing that.

  


“Who do you think the teacher is gonna be? An old woman? A gay guy?” Douglas was talking with his mouth full of cereal again.

  


“Stop being gross!” Tweek peeped, making the others laugh and the sergeant yell at us.

  


I held his hand under the table to calm his nerves down after the yelling startled him. The last few days were still raw in his brain no matter how brave he was being. The sergeant should have known that, the dumb bitch. My spazzy boyfriend slowed his breathing then leaned against me. I just wished there was more I could do for him in moments like this but honestly, I think this is what he needs most. He needed an arm to hang on to. Something to tether him to reality and remind him that he is going to fine. Tweek has gotten a lot better at handling these things at least. It wasn't that long ago, he would slam his face into tables, rip out his hair or even scream until his voice went out. Now he was coping with his anxieties and excluding the meltdown that brought us here, he was handling stress quite well.

How would he handle this new trauma? Tweek never deserved any of this shit. I should have kept a better eye on him. Why did I let this happen to such a beautiful person? Years of trying to keep him out of all the crazy crap in South Park; just for this to happen.

A few seconds later, he caught me staring so I smiled at him. He smiled back and all his tremors stopped.

  


“You're cute.” He complimented me and I flipped him off in return.

  


After we ate, we were taken to the place where we got our uniforms. The girls got to fish through lovely dresses in their sizes while us boys were measured for suits. I guess they assumed the girls already knew what sizes they needed. Did they honestly think none of us wore a damn suit before? I loved the look and feel of a nice Korean style or Italian suit. Suspenders and spats with my hair fixed? Fucking classy and always a guilty pleasure of mine.

After an hour, we were all dressed. The girls had a rainbow of ball gowns in different lengths and styles. They even got matching shoes and to fix their hair. Us guys had some pretty snazzy suits too. Most of them were white coats with black pants but I got a special one because I was tall. Bright red; tight fitting with black buttons and skinny legged noir pants. I got my fucking spats so I felt pretty happy. I was going to fix my hair but decided to keep my hat on instead. Too lazy to deal with that today. In my excitement I realized I never even saw what Tweek picked out.

  


“Hey, Tweek-” My jaw dropped. “Nice.”

  


They stuck him in a shiny Tuxedo. The coat was cerulean with a white shirt and pants and a spiffy charcoal colored bow-tie. The shoes they gave him were polished and had a slight point. Even his hair was brushed back with some wax in it. Tweek was beautiful and made me really look forward to the first moment we get alone. What? I wasn't going to make out with him with others watching.

  


“You look good, Craig.” Those petal lips curled. “Ready to dance with me?”

  


I just nodded like a dumbass as we were ushered into the cafeteria. The others were pumped to meet the song and dance instructor but all I could think about was how handsome my Tweek was. My hand sought out his and I made sure no one could steal my dance partner. There was a lot more boys than girls here so we might have to share girl partners or just make us boys dance with each other. Either way, I was only dancing with Tweek. Call me immature but he was the only person I would ever dance with. Even in middle school at the sixth week dances, we were each other's exclusive partner. Those dances were only for A-B honor roll students so if one of us could not go, neither of us would. We weren't very good dancers but we had fun. Most of the time we just went for some free snacks or to make out behind the school at night. Well, we only did that once. Why were we such a shy couple? Neither of us had any problem holding hands like we were glued together but anything further just did not happen in public.

We did not even join in on the slow dances. Something I regretted when I learned there was no dances like that in High School. I promised I would make it up to Tweek at prom. A promise I broke. We had to miss Junior prom because I got my braces off that week and did not feel like doing anything. Tweek even got us tickets and himself a suit. Would it still fit him this year? Did he get a refund? I never even asked because I'm a selfish dick. Guilt sunk in along with my fingers into Tweek's hand.

  


“Ack...you okay?” That soft voice brought me back.

  


“I want to slow dance with you.”

  


A snort emitted from my lover as he squeezed my hand. Everyone lined up while we waited for the teacher. The fucker was taking his sweet time. Apparently he was a famous Romanian opera singer and dancer with awards and all this shit to be proud of. They also said he was the same age as us. Way to make us feel like shit about our lives. We were going to learn to dance from some prodigy with years of experience under his belt. How did they afford a guy like that?

  


“Holy shit...” The several campers that were also from South Park whispered as the teacher walked in. “No way.”

  


The teacher was tall, blond and fucking Kenny McCormick! He wore a fitted powder blue suit as he waltzed right in with pride in his step. That fucker dropped out and vanished last year! What was he doing here!?

  


“Kenny!?” Tweek got out of line, leaving my grasp and hugged the poor kid we all knew. “You're our teacher? Dude, we all thought you died after you dropped out! You-you look really handsome! ...and alive? What happened!?”

  


Kenny seemed offended but hugged him along with a few others that joined in. “I didn't drop out, dude! I graduated and went back to Romania. Got mad respect and mad puss over there. Not even poor anymore, bro! I'm the fucking richest man in Romania.” He flexed his expensive suit.

  


“What are you doing here then?” I questioned, walking up.

  


“College credit. I'm still kind of poor in America.” He coughed. “I'm a music major and fine arts minor.” He shot me some finger guns and a wink. “You guys are stuck with me until you are out of here.” He blew a kiss to the girls. “And yes; I'm single, ladies.” Then to the boys. “And guys.”

  


The girls and a lot of the boys began to blush at the sexy older boy flirting with them. Tweek and Douglas let out a weeeeee before hugging Kenny. Even Bradley seemed happy to hear the news. At least we could get away with a bit more with Kenny. At least I hoped we could. Also, he would totally have condoms and other sex stuff on him he could spare. Shit, I have a one track mind. Blame my hormones.

  


“Alright, alright.” He fixed his suit. “Everyone pick a partner and line up. Lesson one! I'm gonna learn you how to make some shapes and numbers.” He clapped his hands and swiveled his hips.

  


We all looked at each other with confused stares. What the fuck was he talking about? Shapes? Numbers? I thought this was a dance class.

  


“What kind of shapes and numbers?” Lori raised her hand.

  


He thrusts his hips in her direction and snapped his fingers. “Squares for the most point.” He shot her a perverted grin. “As for numbers, sixes and nines if you keep asking good questions, cutie.”

  


We all got uncomfortable at the way Lori giggled at his obvious advances. He was planning to bang her and half the camp later. I just know it. Now I remember why I did not hang out with Kenny in high school. Guy had the libido of jackrabbit and the legs to match. I was **the** tall guy in this story. Shit, I am ADDing out like Tweek now.

  


“Everyone got their partners?” He looked at only five boys with female partners. “Wow, sausage party here.” His finger came to his cheek as he sighed. “Well, partner up with whoever is left. We're going to take turns in who leads anyway.” Kenny waved his hands all stupid like he used to as a kid as he gave us our instructions. He looked like a fucking clown. He checked his chart of all our names and shit. “ALRIGHTY THEN~! I ain't learning all your names on the first day!” He tossed the list over his shoulder and took a breath. “Lesson one, learning your stances and how to lead your partners in dances~!”

  


We all felt our hearts skip at his singing voice. That time in Romania really did him some good. Kenny turned on some kind of old music over the speakers and began singing out his instructions to us. We were going to learn the basic waltz. The first song, I lead as we learned the basic steps then around the second song, Tweek lead. He was a bit too jerky for me but he wasn't awful. Tweek wouldn't look me in the eyes at first. His eyes were focused on the our feet until he had the steps.

  


“Sorry, haven't done this much.” A nervous twitch was in his left eye when he looked up.

  


“I know.” I squeezed his hand and hip. “You're doing fine.”

  


“Gloria, watch your looong dress foooorrr it will catch~!” He spun, pretending to have a partner. “Craaiiiig, if he leads your arm goes on his shoulder~! Tweek, doooo not~watch your feet~! Feeeeel the rythem of your partner and the beeeaaaat~!” He bereathed in then counted off again. “Onnneee and twoooo, threeee and fooouurr~! Move with the sound of myyy voooice around the flooooor~!”

  


Kenny always had such a high voice when we were growing up. Now it was full yet still kind of feminine. Not quite a castrato tone but he could get up there when wanted to. After a while, Kenny's sweet voice seemed to put us all in a different world. He wasn't singing in English anymore. It was just us and our partners. It was lame, humiliating and dumb but I could not be more entranced. Tweek lead me around the room with the others. Once he had it, he had it. It was kind of nice letting his lead me like the 'man' in this relationship. I couldn't help but shake my head at what a bitch I have become. I spent so much energy and time trying to be the man in this I sometimes forget that we're both men. It didn't matter who lead or was lead and it didn't matter which one of us was more manly. Tweek was my best friend in the world along with the others but with a little something extra. Something that made my lips curl and start dancing faster.

  


“Ah~!” Tweek laughed, trying to keep up. “Slow down, I'm leading, remember?”

  


“Can't! The rhythm has me.” I am fucking hilarious.

  


Kenny saw our enthusiasm, so instead of yelling at us to get back in line he sung a bit faster for us all to speed up. It was time for some fun songs! Kenny had a weird selection that he sang instructions to. Sia songs, the Edward Scissorhands Theme, Rainbow Connection and a few Romanian pop songs. Before we knew it, we were all dancing our asses off. This waltz practice was getting pretty wild. Just like Junior High all over again but less vulgar somehow.

Hours had passed in a flash. We were all sweating and tired after what felt like mere moments of spinning together on the tiled floor. Kenny really wore us out. Half of the fellow campers were on the floor. I sat at the cafeteria table like a freaking adult. Tweek was with me but sitting on the floor. Kenny lied on the pile of sweaty campers with his hands behind his head.

  


“Class~is adjourned.” He hummed, eyeing Lori, Christian and Bradley. “Which of you would like to give your teacher a private tour of my quarters?”

  


All three jumped up and left with him. Just like that. He was going to go have sex, REAL sex with three barely legal students. How did he even pass the background check? Has Kenny ever even had a steady relationship? I could have sworn he had a thing for Butters back in school. They were besties, weren't they? That guy just blew my mind. I'm jealous.

  


“Hey.” Tweek was still panting. “Wasn't he dating Butters?”

  


“Was he?”

  


“Yeah, after his Canadian girlfriend dumped him-” Tweek gulped, needing some water. “-they totally hooked up.”

  


“What happened?” I really wanted to know but couldn't let it be to obvious like that penis photoshopping thing in the fourth grade. That shit still haunted me.

  


“I guess he left.” Tweek bit his lip. “I almost left a few years back.”

  


My ears almost perked up hearing that. What did he mean by that? “What?”

  


“Yeah. When my dad started managing a Harbucks. We almost had to move but then our business picked up suddenly.” He cleaned his sweat, his hair was a mess. “So we stayed. Ugh, I gotta get this suit off.”

  


That was a year and a half before we ever got together. We were barely friends at that time even. If he did move, I might not have seen him again for years. Maybe ever again. We would have never gotten together and had all the fun memories we shared. He might still be slamming his head and pulling his hair out or worse. I might have gotten more depressed or started picking up worse habits than gum chewing. I say as I pop some. I didn't like to think about things like that. It was too real for me. It might still happen in college or after.

  


“Hey...” He gently punched my knee. “I'm not going anywhere.” Rising to his feet, he dusted himself off. “And if I do, I'll just pack you with up with the plates.”

  


I snorted from my busted nose. “Promise?”

  


“I swear.” He leaned over and pecked me on the forehead before turning to leave. “Lets hit the showers...I got something to show you.”

  


I like the sound of that! Most of us hit the showers after that insane lesson. The sergeant told us to hang up our suits for cleaning. Until the end of the week, we would be in our uniforms so the formal wear would not get messed up. Logical.

We had an hour until lunch, clean up, then class. What was he going to show me in that time? We waited until most of the others finished showering before taking our turns. We stood in only our cheap ass white towels until all the girls had left. I headed to the wall only to be grabbed by the hand.

  


“Uh-ah...to the stall. I don't want anyone else seeing this.” He motioned me to one of the private stalls.

  


“Yes.” I triumphantly whispered to myself while the other guys silently cheered me on. I was so going to get some dick. I hung up my cover as did Tweek. “So, what are you gonna show me?” My hands went right for his hips.

  


“Not what you're obviously thinking.” He looked peeved, stopping me in my tracks.

  


“What?” Anxiety stabbed me in the neck and I froze like a statue.

  


“I was gonna show you...my arms.” His voice was cracking and I felt like an asshole. “I...I want you to see them.” He began removing the little hook thingy from his left arm.

  


“Oh.” I gulped before watching intensely. “I'm sorry, I will take this seriously.”

  


“I know you will.”

  


The bright green wrap was forming a ball in his hand. What a way an odd to fold it up. The lighting wasn't very good in here but it wasn't too dark to shield me from what I saw. Scars. Lots of them. Deep rows of scars and dissolving stitches all over my dear Tweek's arm. A few on his palms almost spiraled around his forearm. It made a knot form in my stomach just looking at it but I forced a straight face.

  


“This is the good one. It wasn't fully stripped from the bone.” He was so matter-of-factly about it that he sounded dethatched. He started on the other one now.

  


“Do they hurt?” Stupid question.

  


“Only every second.” He set the cloth balls with our towels.

  


The right arm was indeed worse. Over a hundred melting stitches and staples were holding his arm together. Under that was completely fucked; scarred over muscle tissue. Seven tracks of torn arm went all the way to his elbow. These were far worse than I thought they would be. He was most likely not recovering from this at long as he lived. Tweek held them out to me so I could see better.

  


“Shit...” I gently held them, examining them carefully. “I'm so sorry, Tweek.” Do not cry you bastard. Do not fucking cry in front of Tweek at a time like this. He needs you. “What can I do?”

  


“Can you wash them? They get sweaty and risk infection if I don't clean them properly.” His lips pursed. “It's been hard to do it myself.”

  


He was trusting me with his recovery? I never felt so honored. I turned the water on warm and started by wetting my hands. Then I took a clean wash rag and began very gently wiping them down. The once soft, perfect skin of my friend was now rough to the touch and completely devoid of collagen. Almost all the stitches have vanished but the flesh was still far from healed. My Tweek was fucked up and once again, I was too late to save him from his fate.

  


“Now I feel bad for nut tapping you back there.”

  


“You should, dick.” He snorted and leaned his head to the warm water.

  


“Careful.” We shared an uncomfortable glance. “You're gonna get water in your ear.” I went back to washing out the gashes in his muscle. I hope he did not see me wince when I felt his radius only covered by a thin layer of skin.

  


“Shit, I don't want that.” He straightened his head. “So...um, are they clean? I need to wash my hair.”

  


I might have been just stroking his arms for the past minute. Not wanting to seem weird, I started scrubbing way to hard. I am not good at being normal. Not at all.

  


“Ow! Stop that, Craig.” He pulled his arm back and slapped my tummy. “You trying to pop my stitches?”

  


I shook my head, not sure what else to do. Thankfully, he caught on to how jarring for me this was. Also how guilty I felt about the whole matter. Despite everything that has happened, he was still Tweek. Those fucked up yet beautiful hands of his grabbed mine and squeezed. We shared a kiss before getting back to washing the BO from our tired bodies. Nothing else needed to be said.

Fresh uniforms and a short walk to the lunch room later, we saw our new 'teacher' again. He was pigging out with the others and talking loudly. The other instructors wanted to yell at him to be quiet but...well, he worked there. So most of them weren't sure what to do. Lucky bastard. If I could speak loudly and proudly, I would be sooo happy. However, I 'Craig the troublemaker' Tucker, cannot.

The three campers he just banged were sitting around him with messy hair and disheveled uniforms. They even had hickies and no doubt Kenny would have scratches under that suit. Lori kissed his cheek and he kissed her on the lips right in front of sergeant. Holy shit! How was Kenny not fired already?

  


“Seriously, Kenny?” Tweek spoke just over a whisper. “Are you here to teach us or to just get laid?”

  


Kenny shrugged, his tongue peeking out. “Why not both?” He folded his hands together. “Its pretty lonely when you travel all of Europe, just being FAMOUS for a year straight.” He giggled at his obvious brag. “What are you guy doing here anyway? I thought you both were staying out of trouble after that last time in sixth grade.”

  


“Ugh, never bring that shit up. That was you assholes's fault _again_. I still find fucking cheesy poof dust in my socks from that crap.” Just remembering it made me like Kenny less.

  


“I wasn't even there and I got grounded.” Tweek pouted.

  


“Hey, that was all Eric. I was just the getaway driver that time.” He drank his milk. “So what actually happened? You both look like you've been fighting again.” He pointed to our noses.

  


Neither of us felt like talking about what happened. It was still too soon for us. So Maria fucking told him our business.

  


“Tweek took a ball to the face and Craig got the shit beat out of him by a bat shit crazy girl trying to rape Tweek.” Bitch did not even stutter that shit.

  


“Damn!” Kenny covered his mouth before starring as us. “I'm sorry that happened, dudes.” He put his hands down. “I knew there was risks here but damn. I'll make damn sure that shit is shut down fast in my class.” He thumbed at his own chest. “Only consensual dickings will happen with me here.”

  


The other instructors' eyes bugged out at how bold Kenny was. He was so getting canned before the month was over. Most of us just rolled our eyes at the empty promises of safety. Same shit everyone here promised but never enforced. Kenny slammed his hand on the table, getting our attention.

  


“I mean it. Sex is for fun, not harm. Not power, not revenge and rape is not excused by mental illness! Anyone of you guys caught pulling that shit is out of here. I am a teacher too and have the authority to kick your asses out of here if you screw up.” His face became so serious that I could have sworn he was a different person. “But, don't let that stop you guys from getting friendly with me.” And Kenny was back.

  


No. His eyes were drifting to Tweek's bandaged arms. No! He was going to fucking ask about this and we would have to talk about it. This is why we stay out of anything with these guys.

  


“Green looks good on you Tweek.” He smiled, his one snaggletooth poking out. “I'm just glad you guys are okay. You don't gotta tell me anything else. None of you do.” He clapped. “I know you all have your reasons to be here and you might not wanna spill that shit now.” He put his arms around his new friends. “If I need to know anything, I'll just check your files and only bring up what is needed. Remember, I am here to help you guys out.” Fucker giggled. “Just think of me as your new superhero. I'll be there when I am needed.”

  


Fuck you, Kenny. I wanted to gag. I actually did when so many campers were buying his bullshit. He did not really care about any of us outside of the bedroom. Why would he? Kenny just does his own thing. At least he didn't bring up Tweek's arm any further. For now; the well dressed hobo was backing off but I know he'll want to know more at some point. As long as he stayed away from MY Tweek, we were cool. I grabbed my boyfriend's hand again, just to be safe.

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. That is until Kenny busted into our anger management class to give us goddamn homework. He was taking the whole teaching thing way too seriously. A paper assignment was left with us then he bailed. After class, we all read over the projects.

  


“What!? We have to do homework on summer break?” Bill groaned painfully. “So gaaaayyy.”

  


Tweek read in silence then repeated it with a grimace. “We have to each learn a special dance with our partners? Shit that is gay, Bill.”

  


He assigned us each dances to learn by the end of the week. Bradley and Lori had to learn the Foxtrot, Christian and Gloria the Quickstep, Bill and the fat guy he partnered with were doing the Two-Step. Lucky ass Douglas and Maria would learn the Running man or some shit. I did not bother remembering what the others got after that. What dance were Tweek and I doing?

  


“Well?” I bumped him. “What dance do we have to learn?”

  


“The fucking Tango.” He hung his head, passing me the paper.

  


The steps and instructions were on the sheet in plain English. It was even illustrated at the bottom. Pretty sure Kenny just printed these out before he got here. The Tango was not a slow dance but it would have to do. Determination filled my core! I was going to dance the hell out of Tweek by the week's end. I was going to prove to him and everyone else that I was not a cold weirdo that shadowed Tweek. I **will** prove that I am a good boyfriend. Now to just get Tweek into it so I don't look **too** into this. We all retreated to our mats to relax before supper. Tweek flopped over, completely drained. I lied next to him, wrapping my arms around his soft waistline. Thankfully, he wasn't pulling away. Thank God, he still felt safe with me. That meant he wasn't associating my touches with what happened. It also meant I could mess with him and not feel bad.

  


“This could help us really stand out this year at prom.” I whispered against his spine. “We can do that thing you wanted.”

  


A few hairs on the back of his neck stood up. “You still wanna do that?”

  


“I still owe you for last year.” I nuzzled his skin and smelled his clean hair. “Let's get really good at dancing and steal the show.” I couldn't not smirk. “One last fuck you to the South Park school system?”

  


“Dude, I would love that.” He rolled to face me. “But I _still_ suck at dancing and so do you.”

  


Those desperate eyes filled me with more determination. “That's why we get good here and shock everyone.” I grabbed his cheeks and kissed him. “You can do it.” I paused then added. “We can do it.”

  


His face lit up, flushing a dark shade of peach. “Why do I let you do this to me?” He kissed be back, grabbing my cheeks. “It's a date.”

  


Now we were just holding each other's faces and smooching like a couple of faggitos. All according to plan. After a very satisfying make out session, we all went to dinner with the others. Kenny was missing this time and the Headmaster was in his place with us for dinner. Apparently he was busy with his lesson plans for the next few weeks. At first I thought he was being over prepared for this crap but then it dawned on me. The fucker probably had no plan until he actually got here. Lazy bastard.

  


“Ew, Tweek!” One of his barbarian girlfriends whisper screamed, getting my attention. He was taking off his nose splint. “You're going to bleed everywhere.”

  


“Relax, Chrissy. Ack! My nose isn't bleeding anymore.” He pulled it off, exposing his red nose underneath. “It’s not even broken-ow.” The sharp intake of air made him wince. “Just a hairline fracture.”

  


Chrissy and Christian both went ew in a similar fashion. I JUST realized they were fucking twins, Three weeks into this bullshit. Damn, I am a self centered prick. At least Tweek wasn't as hurt as I thought. Was my nose not as bad either? I wiggle my splint to test it out.

  
  


“OH GOD!!” Everyone screeched as blood pooled from my nostrils and all over my food.

  


“Oh...oh shit.”

  


“Craig, are you okay!?” My worried lover was on me faster than the Headmaster could call the nurse. He shoved his hoard of napkins up my nose to stop the flow. It hurt but made me utterly jubilant to be cared for. “Why would you do that, dumbass!?” His voice cracked as he held me until the nurse came and shoved cotton up my nose. The others were still grossed out by the blood and weirded out by how little I gave a fuck.

  


The kindly old nurse patched me up and I got yelled at again. Nothing new there. I knew the counselors were just worried about me. I assured them all with a thumbs up that I was fine.

  


“I can't believe you, dude.” Tweek was glaring at me while our peers kept staring.

  


Aw, was Tweek mad at me? I guess that was pretty damn stupid. Now everyone was uncomfortable and my shirt had blood on it. Well, no sense in letting my food go to waste. Might as well completely ruin everyone's appetite. I am an asshole after all. I popped a now very red potato wedge into my mouth, much to the disgust of the others. I figured they would yell at me too and I could be excused to go to bed early. My plan failed. Tweek shoved my arm, busting out in laughter. The other campers joined in and even the Headmaster got a jolly out of this. Fuck them too. I wasn't wasting potatoes. So I ate more and ignored them.

  


“I like you, Mr. Tucker.” The Headmaster slapped my back, almost making me throw up. “A lil blood don't scare you.”

  


“Adds flavor.” I roll my eyes, getting more laughs. Not that I care. Okay, these wedges were getting nasty. Even I had my limits. I think he could see that. “Can I be excused, sir?”

  


The buff fucker excused me while the others called me a vampire and wished me well. Even if they were laughing at me, it didn't feel malicious like I've done before. Kind of nice. Tweek gave my hand a squeeze, saying he would take my tray for me. What a sweetheart.

  


Finally I was back at my mat with my comfortable One Piece Anime shirt and sleep pants. As much as I liked these dickheads and loved Tweek, I cherished these moments alone. I face planted into Tweek's pillow, inhaling deeply. Sure, I may appear dispassionate or almost apathetic to what happened, but it was still fresh in my mind. It was still bugging me. Tweek got hurt because I wasn't with him. I got hurt too but what happened to him was different. That bitch almost raped him! Not only that, she did something that was meant for **_US_ **. Now, thanks to that psychopath...it was probably going to be weird. Tweek told me he was “ready” right after that.

  


“Ughhh...” I groan, kicking myself for being so excited when he spoke those sweet words to me.

  


Was he really ready to go further or just reacting out of trauma? I couldn't freaking tell and hated myself for it. What if we finally got our moment alone, got everything ready and were about to...then he panics! Not just a regular panic but a full frenzy of terror. What then? What if when he touches me and I touch back, he starts flashing back? I wanted Tweek so badly but I would rather die than ruin his first time.

  


“Fuck me.” I roll on my back, wet salt water all over my face. When did I even start crying?

  


“Hey, dude.” Tweek?

  


Nope, it was Kenny in some overpriced looking pajamas and a clipboard. He slid open my curtain and joined me on the mats. He rested his back against the dresser and stretched out his legs. How did he get taller than me? What did he even want?

  


“You been crying?” He cocked his head.

  


“No. Totally smoking the devil's lettuce.” My eyes rolled involuntarily.

  


“Funny.” He clicked his tongue. “So I finally finished all you guys' files.” He woofed and shook his head. “Some of you guys had worse childhoods than I did...and I died!”

  


What was he on about? “Find out anything good?” I was always on the hunt for dirt on others.

  


“Nothing I can share by law, dude.” He pulled an eccentric pen out on his pocket and handed it to me. “Here.”

  


“I don't vape.”

  


“It's a regular pen.” His eyes darted around. “Well sort of. It is a Doctor Who pen. Take it and sign this fucking paper that gives you permission to talk about you and Tweek's files with me.”

  


Well, not like he was giving me a choice. Kenny could totally kick my ass if he wanted. I signed my name and Tweek’s. I did all of Tweek's paperwork for him since his parents were always busy and now that his hands were fucked, I better work on my signatures.

  


“Alright, so Tweek had a meltdown and hurt himself and others?” Those legs pulled to his chest. “Why the hell is he not in a hospital?”

  


“He was for almost a week. His arms were bad-” I was cut off.

  


“No, I mean a mental hospital.” His eyebrows were intense. “He caused over 500 dollars in damages, assaulted you, others and mutilated himself. I know South Park handles things like shit but they thought a military camp was a good idea over a hospital?”

  


My head sank as he spoke. This probably wasn't the healthiest place for him and would probably hurt him more than help. Guess it was time to come clean.

  


“They were going to hospitalize him and just send me here but we both practically begged to go to the same place.” I gulped. “I might have cried a bit that day to get him here with me.”

  


Kenny looked ready to slap the dog shit out of me. I was glad to see him doing breathing exercises instead. “That was very selfish of you Craig.”

  


Guilt sank in. “I know.” Don't. Fucking. Cry. “It's my fault he got assaulted.”

  


“Yeah, it is.” Wow, blunt. “He needed professional help in a mental hospital, not fucking summer camp. The fact that you ignored all that to the point you convinced **HIM** this was a good idea, along with his **PARENTS** and the school board...fuck, Craig. You are an asshole if I ever met one.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It's too late now. Just sending him out at this point would just crush his spirit. He's doing his best to keep himself together.” Kenny grabbed my shirt, pulling me . “You better not let anyone hurt that boy again! You hear me, Craig?”

  


I was not crying but I might have been shaking just a bit. Kenny was right. About everything. It was my fault Tweek was hurt and now it was up to me to not let him break again. I nodded in agreement as he dropped my shirt. Kenny smiled and hooked me around the neck.

  


“Good! Now that we talked about that-” He pulled a fucking long string of condoms out of his pocket and plopped them in my hands. “Show your damn boyfriend a good time.” He popped up and danced out of the space, humming.

  


Now I was left alone with my thoughts and a row of French letters. Oh yeah and a mountain of guilt! Cannot forget about that. How was I going to go on after a talking to like that?

  


“Hey dude!”

  


“Fuck off, Kenny.” My middle finger went up and then my head. It was Tweek, staring at me like a freak.

  


“Well that explains the Magnums.” He pulled the curtain around us then started stripping down to his Disney boxers. “Um, hope you aren't planning on using them tonight.” His cheeks had some color now.

  


“Eheheheh, only if you want to.” I stashed them in the dresser for safe keeping. “I wouldn't mind being your bitch again.”

  


He rolled his eyes at me. “Such a bottom.” His eyes traced me for a second. “How is your nose? That was really scary. I thought you were going to die for a moment.”

  


“I'm fine. It just feels like a sinus headache.” I was totally staring at his body. Shit, I am thirsty. “Hey, Tweek?”

  


“What?” He fell onto the mats next to me, making them puff out air.

  


“Do you want to leave this dump? We'd just have to report that shit and we can bail. I don't really like it here.”

  


“Don't be a pussy, Craig.” He socked my hip. “If I can stick it out here, so can you.”

  


“But I'm not strong like you.” I clung my long ass limbs to his body and stroked his hair.

  


“Now you are just being a suck up.” His hand was on my ass and I loved it. “You're going to be fine, Craig.”

  


“Okay.”

  


I've done my job for the night. I built up my Tweek twice in one day and came to terms with how awful I am. Hopefully we can go up from here. I pulled the blankets over us and went back to coiling around my strong, little barbarian. The strong, bandaged arms I loved so dearly, suddenly pulled my on top of him. Both of his hands gripped my ass, sinking fingertips into the my cheek meat.

  


“FYI, I am still going to pop your cherry before we leave.” He was smirking. “No puny se-sexual assault is going to s-spoil that for me.”

  


I could see how hard he was trying. It hurt more than the busted nose but I had to support Tweek. “I'll wait as long as you need...but I look forward to whatever you have to give me...daddy.”

  


Tweek shoved me off and rolled over. Heh, I knew he would do that. Worth hitting my head on the wall just now. Soon, I was back in the sheets with him, holding his hand snugly. I thought he went to sleep with how quiet he was as the others entered the room for the night.

  


“Do you plan to call me that when we do it?” His voice was so meek.

  


“If you do a good job, you know I am.”

  


Tweek's voice dropped an octave, making me shudder. “Let's do it tomorrow then.” He planted one last kiss on me before rolling back away.

  


“...Okay.”

  


I wasn't able to sleep for the next four hours now because I was having an internal panic attack. What Tweek being serious or just messing with me? It felt like my heart was going to explode like a chestburster. Why was I the one so scared all of a sudden? Tweek was my fluffy chicken; prone to panic and was fucking assaulted! How was he so calm while I am a sweaty mess?

  


_Fuck._

  


_I'm scared._

  


**End Chapter 6**


	7. Chapter 7: Dressing and Dancing Part 2

**Kenny's POV**

  
  


Something was seriously fucking wrong with this camp. Sure the staff was hot and the campers could hump like mental patients but something was just not right. The other counselors were clearly doing their best but something was seriously off and I could feel it. Maybe it was all the fucking ghosts throwing me off. Either way, I was going to help these campers! If my ghetto ass can rise out of a bad situation, so could they.

  
  


“ Alright, time to change some lives, Kenneth!”

  
  


“ It's three in the morning. Why are you still up?” A baritone voice called out to me.

  
  


That sexy Headmaster was lying on my bed that was far too small for him. I blew him a kiss lulling he went back to bed. He received the McCormick nightcap along with most of the women working here. Even that grizzly bear was all over this D after her shift. Could have sworn she was a lesbian but hey, everyone was gay for my cute ass. Well, almost everyone.

  
  


“ Now if only Butters would return my damn calls.” I sigh, going back to berth for a few hours more of rest. Everyone would be sleeping in after I worked them over. Something the campers will appreciate, I fair.

  
  


**Kenny's POV ends.**

  
  


It was raining again at the McKormick Behavioral Camp when I woke up. The sky was black and it was kind of cold outside for being summer.  _ Good old Colorado. _ There was no telling what time it was without a clock with how dark it was. The sound of the rain was echoing off the metal roof, similar to water on a frying pan. Or when I rinse out my kettle at home. Just how I liked it! This meant we would be inside all day and I could watch the clouds. Though, we would probably have to practice our dance more or clean the whole compound. Yucky. At least I still had my guy right next to me for warmth and protection. With how crazy things have been, I needed it. I still had nightmares about what happened but dammit, I was not going to let it ruin me. Life has already fucked me in the ass for sixteen year. One crazy girl sucking my dick in an episode of psychosis was NOT going to undo six years of support and love from Craig. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

  
  


“ Shit...” I mutter under my breath, remembering I had a 'date' planned with Craig. How was I going to be alone with him if we’re all stuck in here on a rainy day? It would take some thinking. With how busy Kenny would keep us and all these adults, this would not be an easy task. “Sh-shit.”

  
  


“ I'll let you go in a few minutes.” Craig nuzzled my back, probably wiping his dried blood or drool on my damn shirt again.

  
  


“ What?” It took me a minute. “No I already went, it's fine.” I rolled into his warm chest, sucking up his scent. “What time is it?”

  
  


“ Beats me off.”

  
  


Craig fell back asleep, not bothering to correct his Freudian Slip. Was he not able to sleep last night? I tugged at the curtains to check the clock at the end of the room. It was already 6:05 in the morning and no one was waking us up? Awesome? Maybe Kenny banged the Headmaster and sergeant into a coma. I doubt it but that would be hilarious if he did.

  
  


_ I got a horrible idea. _

  
  


“ Hey Craig.” I whisper into his ear flap. Hope he could hear that.

  
  


“ Whaaaaat?” He groaned, stretching out his toes. The mat was barely long enough for him. So cute I could die.

  
  


“ We should do it in the Headmaster's office.” I feigned confidence, clenching my larynx and making a throaty irking sound. Please do not let him hear me screech from anxiety.

  
  


“ ...you're scaring me, Tweek.” Those dark eyes were facing me now, wide as dinner plates and full of da fuck.

  
  


I almost cried when I heard him drone that sentence. I was scaring him!? He thought I was a freak now. Good job, Tweek! You have gone and fucked up your only stable relationship. Now you are going to die alone and a virgin. I felt like I was going to implode if he stared at me any longer. Thankfully, his eyes relaxed and his hand reached for my own.

  
  


“ I love it.” A toothy grin curled as his eyes went all starry. “Scare me more.”

  
  


Right, Craig liked actually feeling strange emotions now and then. Better run with this before he gets bored. I grabbed both his hands and smooshed our lips together. He kissed back sweetly. Craig chewed so much freaking gum these days he never had morning breath. Something I had no complaints about. I just always had coffee breath that he did not seem to mind anymore. It made for pleasant early morning make-out sessions.

  
  


“ Let's go before the others get up.” I popped up to grab our uniforms.

  
  


Craig didn't reply but hurried to change and grab his gifts from Kenny. It was still pouring outside but we made it to the Headmaster's office without getting too soaked. The offices weren't attached to the staff cabins. Good thing or we would definitely get caught. We left our shoes and socks in the hall and shook off the water at the door mat. Now we just had to find a way to get into the office. Craig produced a freaking hair pin from under his hat and picked the lock.

  
  


“ You still use bobby pins?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  
  


“ How else would get my hair to look this good?” In mere seconds he had the door open. “Also I like to steal stuff out of lockers and put them in other lockers.”

  
  


“ That was you!!?” I scream before covering my mouth. “Dick.”

  
  


Asshole was smiling at my frustration. Craig is lucky he is the cutest boy in school or I would be pissed. The Headmaster had a nice office with good organization and a work out area. We spared a moment to explore the neat room. Craig walked over to the 70lbs dumbbell, crouching down to lift it. He grunted as his arms strained to lift the weight.

  
  


“ You're gonna shit your pants, dude.” I folded my arms and watched.

  
  


“ N-nnnope.” The veins in his arms were showing. “I a-already went t-toooo.” He dropped it back down, puffing out hot air. “Fuck.” His back when he straightened out. “I need to work out more.”

  
  


“ I've offered to let you get jacked with me.” I shrugged and took a seat in the big, comfy swivel chair.

  
  


Peering over his shoulder, Craig asked me plainly. “Is that where we are going to do it?”

  
  


“ What!?” I clenched the chair's armrests. “Oh...maybe?” I had to think about it. “Or we can do it against the desk...or the floor.” My face was boiling now. “Or in his closet-”

  
  


“ STOP!” My dork covered his cheeks as if he was blushing. He wasn't but he sure was hamming it up. “You're making me shiver, Tweek. I'm just a boy, you big bad man~!”

  
  


“ Well, where do you want to do this?” Now I am even more embarrassed. What was I doing? Fixing to have sex in an authority figure's office? Have I gone insane? “This was a bad idea.”

  
  


“ I want you to hold me.” Craig was hovering over me now, sliding his shorts down enough to show off his hip bones. “The chair is fine but I want you to hold me.” He blinked. “Also you have to kiss me.”

  
  


“ Lots of kissing, right?” I snorted.

  
  


He nodded, dropping his shorts and kicking them to his side. Before I could see if he was hard or not, he pulled his shirt down to cover himself. Cheeky bastard was playing modest. Time to do this, Tweek! I untied my shorts, slipping them down just enough to get my junk out. No way I am sitting my exposed butt on a strange chair. Craig was gawking like he had never seen a dick before. Oh! There goes his cheeks, turning pink.

  
  


“ Um...here.” He held up a foil covered square, passing to me. “Protection.”

  
  


I nodded, taking the present and opening it. We both cringed when gross ass fluid oozed from the package. It got on my shorts and just sat on top of the fabric. Gave off the funk of latex and other repugnant chemicals. I almost gagged but told myself that was a good thing. This meant I wouldn't hurt Craig as much when we got started. A few minutes of fiddling with the stupid thing, we got it on me.

  
  


“ A-alright...its on.” I gulped, focusing on Craig's reactions. “Now what?”

  
  


Craig pinned me into the chair with all his weight! It squeaked and hit the wall behind us. He jumped into my lap, wrapping his limbs around me then planted an aggressive kiss on my lips. His tongue lapped at mine, lewd sucking filled my mouth. I held Craig liked he wanted. So tightly that it hurt my arms. This beautiful young man I fell in love with all those years ago was going to get my very best! I groaned against his starved mouth, devouring his red hot taste. I bit him, earning myself a keen whimper.

  
  


“ P-please...” He was actually begging me.

  
  


My left hand slide down his back to cup his perfect, firm, tiny butt. I searched for his entrance, rubbing with my middle finger until I found it. When I did, he actually cried against my shirt. I massaged the area until it became relaxed enough to penetrate his wall of muscle.

  
  


“ That okay?” I whispered into his hat that I began chewing on.

  
  


He just whined over dramatically and squirmed. “I'm scared of your strength.” A sarcastic asshole to the end. To pay him back, I shoved my finger into the second knuckle. “AHH~!” His back arched and his muscles clenched around my finger. “You're mean.”

  
  


“ You love it, right?” I smoothed his back while speaking with a mouth full of hat.

  
  


“ So fucking much.” He clung again. “Why'd you stop kissing me?” His voice was strained.

  
  


“ Oh-sorry.”

  
  


We locked lips once more as I felt Craig's insides. It was so warm and any little bit of pressure I applied made him buck against me. I wonder if I would be able to find his prostate on my first try. Thank God no one can hear my dirty, filthy, crude thoughts. My hand went lower and the rest of my finger slid in.

  
  


“ OoooOOWWWWwwww...” Craig bit his lip.

  
  


“ Shit, did that hurt?” I pulled it out immediately. “Craig?”

  
  


“ No...not that.” He buried his face in my hair. “....I came again and it hurt...”

  
  


“ Whaaaaa...?” My glance drifted down to see a goopy mess on my shirt. “Ew. Dude, you really should see a doctor about this.”

  
  


Craig's voice shook as he reinforced his grip. “I will. Promise.” His lips brushed against my cheek. “Don't stop yet. Please?”

  
  


Well, I couldn't refuse such a nice request. We shared a few delicate kisses while I positioned Craig over my erection. Where was it? I tried to lower Craig against me but could not figure out what to do without looking down.

  
  


“ One sec.” I inspected below and to my surprise and disappointment, I was soft. What happened? I was completely ready a moment again but now I wasn't. “Fuck...” It was nerves. I failed to notice I was shaking and covered in a cold sweat.

  
  


“ D-did you do it too?” Craig questioned, covered in a cold sweat as well. He was just as scared as I was. How did I miss that? “Well? Talk to me, Tweek.”

  
  


“ N-no.” I swallowed hard, soothing the goosebumps on Craig's back. “Wanna try again later?”

  
  


“ Okay.”

  
  


That was all we said. We got off the chair, got dressed, destroyed the evidence with fire out back and then went back to the camp. The others were up now along with the instructors and Kenny. No one questioned why I was shirtless or why we were both soaked to the bone. At least no one did once I flexed my bulging muscles. The girls, Bill and Douglas all mimicked me like good Barbarians.

The rest of the day, we did not say a Goddamn thing to each other unless we had to. Not like we had time to bullshit with all the dance practice Kenny had us doing. Who knew he was going to be our most strict teacher? Each of us were learning our special dance along with other more basic ones. He sung our instructions to the fucking beat of Disney's Mulan songs.

  
  


“ You will all be cultured by the time—we're through~! You will get, THE CHICKS~!” He was dancing by himself again. “Diiiid they send me retards, when I asssked for dancers~!?”

  
  


“ Stop being a fag, Kenny!” Bradley roared out as he dipped his partner.

  
  


Kenny just gave him an offended expression then continued his song. By the end of the day, I was fucking exhausted. My legs were on fire long after the lesson was over. Even a hot shower did nothing to alleviate my pain. Thank the Gods of coffee and cream that I had such a sweet, understanding boyfriend to rub my legs. We still weren't talking much after this morning. Not that it's anything new for us, though. We've gone days without talking without even being upset since we started dating. Personally I love having a quiet boyfriend. It was nice being able to solve our problems and understand each other without scary talking.

  
  


“ Better?”

  
  


I know he wasn't just referring to my legs. His words were few but his meanings were vast. One of just many things that made me fall for his borderline autistic ass. I sat up, pulling my legs to my under my butt. We shared a kindred smile before I grabbed one of Craig's gams to return the favor. His eyes went half lidded as I rolled my palms along his calves. After a few relaxing moments, my Craig started our nightly conversation.

  
  


“ Kenny sucks now.”

  
  


“ Tell me about it.”

  
  


We then silently busted a gut together. I continued to massage Craig's long legs and enjoy my own mental rhyme like a dumb ass.

  
  


“ The fuck happened to make Kenny such a...teacher?” I pondered, not really talking to anyone. I was more focused on Craig's sore muscles.

  
  


“ I had fun this morning.” An uncomfortable pause. “Regardless.”

  
  


“ That makes one of us.” I chuckled, moving to his feet.

  
  


“ I'm sorry.”

  
  


My dear Craig's face sank and he became downcast. Did he take me seriously or was he just being his usual mopey self? I started on his other leg, trying to lighten the mood.

  
  


“ It would have been awful if we got caught.” My eyes were wandering around. “We'd probably be punished. Or worse, our parents would have found out.” Now I was stressing myself out. I was just trying to be coy but my anxiety was ruining that. I could feel my spine tingling and face heating up. “Oh fuck, you don't think they are gonna DNA test the chair or find where we burned that stuff, do you?” My breathing sped up. “Oh Jesus! What if they find out we were fooling around and report it back to our parents? I'll never be able to to look at my mom again.”

  
  


“ First of all, lower your voice.” Craig seemed annoyed or maybe in pain. “Second, that is retarded.” Annoyed. “And third, stop strangling my leg, Tweek.” Oh, also pain.

  
  


I released his leg then covered my face. It was too late for me! I was in panic mode and needed to lie down with a pillow over my head until searing dread faded on its own. I just needed to calm my system. Think about trees, birds and lovely clouds. I was going to my happy place. A safe meadow with just me and some gentle robins or sparrows singing to me. The sun is shining as a soothing lake sits before me, filled with happy fish. It is so warm and lovely. I feel my heart slowing along with my breath.

After a few minutes, the faint sound of Craig changing into his pajamas broke my trance. I lifted my pillow just enough to catch a glimpse of Craig's tummy before he slips on a fresh shirt. Now I am regretting chickening out this morning. I am such a pussy that I could not even have sex with my boyfriend. My stupid ass talks such a big game but when it was time to perform, I failed because I was too scared to even keep my boner.

  
  


“ Mmph.” Craig flopped into the sheets, getting comfortable as well as tangled in both our blankets. “Perfect.” He got his leg stuck again.

  
  


I sat up to  _ once again _ , fix the fabric around us evenly. My big dork just couldn't figure sheets out since that last growth spurt. I smoothed the edges out then lied back down with a pillow over my head.

  
  


“ Night, queer.”

  
  


Maybe I am being too hard on myself again. Craig was just as petrified as I was—well okay, almost as petrified as I was. Neither of us were ready to do it at that moment. Though, was is my usual nerves or from trauma? It took every ounce of my courage and focus not to think of  **_her_ ** while we in the office. I tried to only focus on  **HIS** voice,  **HIS** body and  **HIS** mouth on me. Craig is not Daisy and never will be. He is my boyfriend that I will do anything for and I know he would do the same. Still, I was still shaken. My subconscious was screaming at me with intrusive thoughts.

  
  


_ Sex is bad. _

_ You are nothing but damaged goods. _

_ You liked it. _

_ He is not attracted to you. _

_ No one wants a chronic masturbator. _

_ Only a freak would like you. _

**_Kill yourself._ **

_ He is going to leave you. _

  
  


I just wanted to make love to the man I loved and enjoy something in my life like a Goddamn normal person! For once in my fucking life, I just wanted something nice with no strings attached or any fear. It would seem that I cannot even have that. I never replied to Craig saying goodnight to me. I was too pissed off and sad now. My pillows were soaked with tears and drool. Craig was not going to see me like this again so soon. I just pretended to be asleep already but he never fell for that shit.

  
  


“ You're not mad at  _ me _ , are you?” That nasal voice of his always gets me.

  
  


“ No.” My fucking voice cracked. “Hold my hand, nerd.”

  
  


Craig didn't need to be told twice. It did not matter if we were doing butt stuff or not. We loved each other this long without it and we are both still young. We'll have the rest of our long lives to experiment and learn about our bodies. All I know is that holding his hand is the best thing I ever felt. I plan to do it every day, until I die an old man. Our fingers intertwined firmly for a moment before we went the hell to sleep.

  
  


The rest of the week flew by with how busy freaking Kenny kept us. We all knew the Romanian waltz, Texas Two-Step and some weird shit by the time he was through with us. My calves felt like stone. Most of us couldn't even feel our asses by day four. Though, that might be for other reasons for some of the campers. At least Craig and I had a badass dance to whip out at Prom this year. Shit, I might even take him to Homecoming if I do not wuss out. Enough zoning out! It was test day for us apparently. Kenny wanted to see all of our dances done right and who are we to disappoint?

  
  


“ What the actual fuck is this!?”

  
  


A bunch of assholes, that's who. Everyone sucked at their routines when they were called up. The Running Man one wasn't too bad in my opinion but the rest of us sucked. Kenny was pissed. Even Craig and I got yelled for our leg work being slightly off and for “showboating” too much. I might have dipped Craig so hard that his head touched the floor.

  
  


“ I am just disgusted by all of you! Did any of you take this seriously!!?” His voice got deep when he was mad. “Is this a game to you!? Tell me, is this shit a joke!? WELL!!?”

  
  


All but one of us was too scared to answer his questions. Bradley folded his arms, his suit barely fitting over his burly shoulders. A sneer was on his face that made Kenny stare him down.

  
  


“ Maybe we do! Ever consider you aren't a good fucking teacher?”

  
  


“ I have taught over 100 Romanian children my craft of song AND dance in the last year alone while on tour.” He marched up to Bradley, no fear in his eyes. “They were all under the age of ten, poor as shit and spoke no English!” He grabbed Bradley's tie. “What is your excuse?”

  
  


Bradley had nothing more to say but refused to back down and be dominated by Kenny. The thinner blond dropped his student as he walked back to his spot by his MP4 player. He straightened his suit and composed himself. I don't know about the others but I was more than sure Bradley was going to kill Kenny.

  
  


“ Alright. Dance week is over and you all failed.”

  
  


“ WHAT!? You can' actually fail us-” Chrissy cried out only to be shushed.

  
  


“ Yes I can and I will make sure none of you assholes complete this program if you keep acting up.”

  
  


Why was Kenny being such a strict asshat to us? Most of us really were trying our best. I know at least Craig and I were. Everyone either were pissed off or scared and a few even started crying.

  
  


“ So far, you have proven to me that you are all a bunch of dumb fucks and damn slackers!” He held up a finger. “I am giving you all one chance to prove me wrong.” Now that he had our attention, he smiled. “You will have until the end of your stay here to get to know your partners. Then know your dance...and show me whatchu got on the dance floor!” He clapped his hands and began to sing his declaration. “IF YOU WISH UPON A STAR, you won't get very faaaar~! But if you practice 'til the eeend, you wll get a ten out of teeeen~! Annnnything your heart desires will coooommmeee tuuuure~!”

  
  


That motherfucker was trolling all of us! He was never grading us on this shit or even expecting us to learn them in a week. Needless to say, we all chased his gay ass around the whole camp until he was successfully dogpiled and farted on by at LEAST nine of us. Our suits and dresses were caked in mud that we all had to scrub out. We got an annoying lesson in washing expensive clothes. Worth it.

  
  


“ I'm glad we didn't actually fail.” Craig mumbled as he hung up his shirt with the others. “I was going to cry.” He mentioned dryly. I wasn't sure if that was him joking or serious. “We should practice more.” His arms were soaked up to the elbows. “Maybe I should try leading since I'm taller and can dip you without bending too much.” After a short pause, he continued his ramble. “I think we were pretty good but there is room for improvement. What do you think? If you feel better leading, it's fine. You should work on your dip though.”

  
  


“ You're chatty today.” I couldn't suppress a giggle. This was the most I've ever heard him say at one time. “I like when you talk.”

  
  


Craig pulled his cap over his face and went back to washing clothes. Not even his clothes anymore. He was hand washing a few of the dresses for the girls. Craig always enjoyed doing laundry for some reason. Something about the repetitive motions and patterns relaxed him. I could respect that. I really did relish these rare talkative moods Craig would get in. Usually we were both pretty quiet but he was so mute that people assumed I was a blabber mouth by comparison. Craig never talked much unless it was something negative of necessary. Our silences were generally preferred because they were peaceful. Though, hearing Craig's voice just talking like that; it always put my mind at ease. It told me that he was comfortable enough to share his thoughts with me. It made me feel special. The fact that we were the last ones in the laundry room might have helped. One more person and he possibly would never even open his mouth.

After we finished washing and drying the laundry, I went to get lunch. Craig volunteered to fold and put away everyone's clothes. The others appreciated it, the instructors approved it and the girls were just fine with Craig handling their underwear. Probably because he was gay. Also cute.

At the end of lunch, we all came back to the main building to see...

  
  


“ Oh my God, that is so cute.” Katy whispered to Lori.

  
  


It was Craig! Putting all our clothes away, even leaving clean uniforms at the foot of our beds for tomorrow. He also swept the compound and was now cleaning the mildew from the windows with a thick rag and some lemon juice. He was smiling, completely in the cleaning zone. The butchy sergeant saw what he had done and looked pleased.

  
  


“ GOOD JOB, MR TUCKER!”

  
  


“ AH!” Craig jumped, smacking his head on the wall. “Dammit...” He flipped her off.

  
  


She laughed, still pleased at what he had done. “You could all learn something some Mr. Tucker. He's a punk but he knows how to clean up after himself. Not afraid to do housework. Something all men, women and children should know.”

  
  


Everyone rolled their eyes. Why were the counselors so in love with MY Craig this week? They were ready to kick him out when we got here. Oh well, it was free time! I was going to check my Tumblr. A few of the others joined Craig in cleaning the whole building from head to toe without being told. I would have joined but a webcomic I followed updated so I could not be bothered.

  
  


“ Hey.” Craig eventually joined me at the computers, taking the seat next to mine. He sat quietly for almost forty minutes before logging into a computer to make a shitpost on his Twitter.

  
  


It popped up on my feed as I was checking up on Norman Reedus. I shook my head and retweeted it with a reply.

  
  


'I died. I leave Stripe to Token and nothing to Clyde because he is a wiener.'

  
  


_ Retweeted By Tweek Tweak _

  
  


'He isn't dead. We are doing fine and not dead at all.'

  
  


_ Retweeted By Craig Tucker _

  
  


'Lies. All lies. We are zombies. Brains.'

  
  


I looked at him with a half scowl and half smirk. King of the guinea pigs and king of shitposters. That was who I have chosen to spend my life with. What was I going to do with him when we got to college? If I wasn't careful he just join some Anime club or worse...a Memer Alliance. Well, better than him becoming a stoner like Jason did or full blown Jock like Stan. Nah, my dork was shaping into a pretty stellar man. Now if only I could do the same.

  
  


“ I'm hungry.”

  
  


“ Well you skipped lunch.”

  
  


“ I know.” He blinked then took my hand. “I'm sad.”

  
  


Worry filled my heart as I gripped his hand securely. “What about, Craig?” When he didn't respond right away, I pressed the matter. “About your nose? This morning? Lunch?”

  
  


“ I ran out of my gum this morning.” My cinnamon obsessed lover was on the verge of tears.

  
  


“ You chewed through twelve packs of gum already? Holy crap, Craig.” I slid out of my chair, still holding that sweaty palm. “How did you manage that?”

  
  


“ It was really good.” He lowered his head in shame.

  
  


“ Well that explains the cleaning today.” I scratched my neck, not sure what to do next. “I'll order you a fifty pack when we get home.”

  
  


“ ...That's sweet.” His default frown sank further. “But now I have nothing to chew on. What if my teeth get all fucked up like a beaver?”

  
  


“ You aren't a damn rodent. Get over it. Chew on your fingers, I don't know.” Now I was just being bitchy. “Not my fault you have an oral fixation.”

  
  


Craig then started chewing on his thumb like Bradley often did. It made him look retarded so I grabbed his other hand and we went off to find something else to keep him busy. Thankfully it was already time for afternoon classes. He was almost fidgety the whole time and kept chomping on his lips or cheeks. No one else seemed to notice except me and my hypersensitive ass. He didn't even have anxiety problems until that shit in seventh grade when we got locked in a jail all night. Fucking Cartman.

I wish I could help him but like I did with coffee, he would have to learn to live without his drug for short periods. My stash was running low actually. Though, I spaced it out so I would not run out until the last week. That was not going to be fun for anyone.

  
  


After dinner I lost track of my checked out boyfriend. I asked the other campers and even Kenny but no one saw him. I would ask the Headmaster or another counselor but that would risk getting him in trouble. No matter though; my gut was already telling me where he might be.

  
  


“ Thought so.”

  
  


Craig spun around, hiding something behind his back. The contraband shed was the only thing this far behind the Headmaster's cabin. The thief was obviously planning a raid.

  
  


“ You know the others already cleaned that out last week.” I folded my arms as he went back to picking the lock.

  
  


“ Douglas told me they only took the chocolate and chips. There might still be the rest of our snacks in there.”

  
  


“ Enough to risk getting in trouble?”

  
  


“ The adults love me now. I won't be a suspect.” He got it open. “There might be coffee.” A smirk could be heard in his voice.

  
  


“ Ugh, fine. I saw nothing.” I walked over to see what was left.

  
  


Mostly just unauthorized pocket knives, a liquor bottle, a pack of clove cigarettes and...a whole can of coffee! That was fucking mine now. I grabbed the can, shoving it into my pocket, meriting a hoarse giggle out of Craig. It might have looked like a strange boner but I didn't care. He went back to shuffling through the goods for a moment before finding what he wanted. Three packs of gum taken from him while we were in the woods. I had forgotten about that completely.

  
  


“ Ready?” My left brow went up.

  
  


“ Ready.” As he was stuffing them into his pants, something made him go pale. “Fuck.” He slammed the door and jammed the pin back into his hair. “Kiss me.”

  
  


“ Wh-why-” I didn't get to culminate that statement before Craig slammed me against the shed, smashing our lips together. My heart began to race and my grabby hands went straight for his sexy hair. Gluttony took over my mouth the more I tasted Craig.

  
  


“ What are you two doing back here!?” That was the sergeant's voice. Everything made sense now. “Get over here, Mr. Tweak and Mr. Tucker!” She tapped her foot in the mud.

  
  


Thankfully, getting caught making out wasn't as bad of an offence as getting caught stealing. Stealing would have gotten us written up and a letter sent back to our parents. PDA, only carried the penalty of no free time for the next few days. Big deal, it was art week with Kenny. That was going to be either all free time or working so much that we don't notice. What was truly paramount was that we had our loot! We both agreed to ration it better so we don't come out of this looking like a couple of addicts. We can save that for our thirties.

Once back to our mats, Craig popped a stick of his gum and I ate a whole scoop of the coffee. Craig's face read something along the lines of nausea and amazement as I crunched the grounds in the back of my mouth then swallowed them.

  
  


“ I am so turned on right now." He uttered so matter-of-factly.

  
  


I stuck my blackened tongue out at him. Then Craig tackled me, ravishing my bitter mouth. Craig pressed me into the mats hard, grinding our hips together. He wasn't joking about being turned on! My legs wrapped around his torso, letting him do anything he wanted. What he wanted was to touch me all over. It was so hard to be quiet with him kissing my face, groping my pecs, mashing our privates together. Craig was leaving me a mess this time. This was a million times better than this morning. The lights went out...

  
  


"Strip me." I whisper, licking his jawbone.

  
  


Like a good boy, Craig obeyed and ripped off my uniform then his own. Being nerds, we kept our boxers and socks on. I've never been more in love. This was perfect for now. Just tasting and touching was more than I could dream of at a time like this. No need to rush it any further until we were both ready to go further. We spent the rest of the night fondling each other and kissing until we passed out. My whole body was sore by morning.

  
  


**End Chapter 7.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guys tell I burnt myself out? Heh, I plan to take my time with these last few so they don't suck. Thank you all for sticking with me and my dyslexic ass this long. I love you all.


	8. Chapter 8: The Arts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY CREEK-IVERSARY EVERYONE~!!! One year and some hours ago, today...Creek became canon. So let's all read fics (Better than this one) and be happy! Thank you all for the love and support.

**Craig's POV**

  
  


At last, the damn rain had stopped and the sun came out early. Tweek and I had to get up before everyone else to shower and change. By the time we returned in fresh uniforms, the others were awake. Clearly they were suspicious of what we had been doing. The beautiful spaz tried to pass it off as we were working out early and needed a shower. No one bought that shit. Not sure why that was his go to excuse for us fooling around. Using his OCD and clinginess would make a lot more sense. Oh well, I didn't give a fuck. I still got to second-third base with my charming partner. All that was left was a home run without choking like yesterday. I have actually had a lot on my mind about that but like most things, never knew how to voice it. If I had my phone; I could write it out better and just send it to Tweek. Texting really helped us communicate early on but using it as a crutch for proper communications wasn't smart. However, writing Tweek a nice letter couldn't hurt either.

  
  


After an amazing breakfast of fruit salad and other stuff overshadowed by it, we were shown to the art room. It was rearranged by Kenny so all the tables formed a big rectangle with an opening. It gave us all plenty of room to move around or sit at the tables. Today, he went easy on us and gave us the task of making something, anything. Either draw something, write a song, compose a skit or even make something with clay. As long as we were doing something worthwhile while he fine-tuned his lesson plan. Of course, he sang the whole time to entertain himself. Gay wad.

  
  


"I got an idea."

  
  


I heard from one of the girls as I caught them staring at me. Great. What were they planning for us this week? They called Tweek away from a doodle he was working on. I swear to God if this was another Barbarian thing...

  
  


"I love it! Let's do that." Tweek turned to me slightly, winking. It fucking was going to be a Barbarian thing. I knew it. "Get the construction paper."

  
  


I just tried to ignore them and get back to writing a poem that was stuck in my head. Unfortunately for me, I was so into the composition that I had not noticed the entire class and Kenny getting into the girls' project. After almost two hours, Tweek sauntered over, a thing in his hand and a grin upon his face. He waited for me to acknowledge him before dropping far too hard to one knee.

  
  


"That look like it hurt." Even if I sounded callous, I was concerned.

  
  


There was pain in his eyes along with war paint on his face. "Oh yeah." He cleared his throat then produced a giant blue feather. "I think you know what this means."

  
  


My heart sped up as memories of marathon playing Harvest Moon as tweens flooded back to me. How many town girls we had to talk to for hours just to give them that damn blue feather. The blue feather of proposal. Tweek just asked me to marry him Harvest Moon 64 style. The others were all wearing war paint, feathers, and other stuff from around the art room. Some even had fabric tied around them like tunics and dresses. Everyone was in on this. Kenny was inside the row of tables, holding a bamboo reed, sitting on a high stool to perform the marriage. The others had this all planned out while I was in my own damn world.

  
  


"A-are we doing a thing?"

  
  


"Only if you say yes, my precious thief?" He offered me the feather once more. "Don't make me have to pretend marry Douglas."

  
  


Letting out a sigh, I took the feather and stuck it in my hat. "Macaroni."

  
  


Everyone cheered for us as Tweek locked arms with me. Kenny played the wedding march on his phone then began singing some Celtic bullshit that none of us understood. Why was I going with this sappy crap? Walking down an imaginary isle with Tweek as fellow campers throw paper flowers at us, beating their chests like Barbarians. So lame. I should have just flipped them all off and finished my poem. Yet, here I am. Feather in my hat and a painted nerd on my arm. It was probably Tweek's proposal that got me. Only he would know how much I loved that monotonous game.

  
  


"You're making me the happiest Barbarian King in the world." Tweek snickered, causing me to elbow him as we walked.

  
  


"You're lucky I like playing pretend so much."

  
  


Pretend as this may be, my heart sure thought it was real. It was about to explode right out of my chest. The closer we get to the makeshift altar the more I thank God that I am not prone to blushing. Might as well try to enjoy this. With my luck, this might be the closest I get to a real wedding with Tweek.

  
  


"We are gathered here today...in the art room. To join in non-denominational matrimony, King Tweek of the Barbarians-" Kenny was caught off by the girls, Douglas and Bill, letting out a roar. "Holy crap...and Feldspar the Thief." The boys let out a few woops. "To have and to hold; in sickness and in health. To bang in the bed and the halls...from the floors to the walls. Until the day you both die."

  
  


This was so embarrassing but I couldn't suppress a crooked grin as Tweek turned to face me. His cheeks were covered in muddy, black finger-paint but his natural blush still shined through. Kenny carried on for a while with other vows but we were not listening. Tweek mouthed an "I love you" to me which I returned with a "Fuck you, queer" of course.

  
  


"Tweek, do you take this skinny teen to be your non-legally ordained husband?"

  
  


"You know it." His grin spread, showing all his teeth.

  
  


"Craig, you want to marry this short, mentally unstable boy?" Kenny poked me with a stick to make sure I was listening.

  
  


"Yes."

  
  


"Then by the power invested in me as your teacher, I now pronounce this skit over. You may kiss in front of us or not. Either way, you passed for the day." Kenny hopped off his stool and over the table while everyone cheered us on. They probably did not want to see us kiss so I went to go back to my chair. First, I turned to my 'husband' to crack some kind of joke.

  
  


"That was as fun as-"

  
  


"You aren't getting off that easy!" Tweek dipped me, planting a kind of gross, wet kiss on me. Greasy paint smeared all over my face. He really got up in there, pulling me back up with a loud smack of our lips separating.

  
  


Now the others were rooting us on while I cleaned my sloppy face and shoved Tweek. He just chuckled, then he pulled out a rag to clean my jowls. Shameful as it was; having my face cleaned like a child, I was enjoying this. Tweek's gentle hands traced over my cheeks and mouth. My skin was probably red by the end of the dry scrubbing. All the same, I felt so damn loved.

  
  


"All clean." His tongue poked out the corner of his mouth. "That was pretty fun." Tweek started to clean himself. "It was Maria's idea. Blllrrrr~!" He wasn't as gentle with face. "They were going to do it with Bradley and Chrissy but they wussed out."

  
  


"Ah." I could not think of what else to say. It was fun having a pretend wedding. What else could I say? I looked around at the others; working on new projects. "I'm writing a poem."

  
  


"A poem? I forgot you used to write." He shoved the rag back into his pocket as we walked back to our seats. "Why'd you stop?"

  
  


I sat down, grabbing my pencil and spinning it. "I got enough people thinking I'm an emo."

  
  


"That's bullshit. What's the real reason you stopped?" He was trying to read what I wrote but I covered it.

  
  


"I just don't care enough I guess."

  
  


"That's a shame. I liked the stories you used to write." Tweek was resting his head on the table now. Did he really like my stupid short stories? "That one about the aliens and guinea pigs? That was my favorite."

  
  


The moment I remembered that, cliché, self-indulgent pile of tripe; I winced. "That one? It was a fucking Star Trek fanfic, Tweek. It was bad." I covered my face with my ear flaps. "Please don't remind me of that shit."

  
  


"Hmhm, oh c'mon. It wasn't bad." His chair creaked as he scooted closer. "I liked the fics you wrote. Also the originals...can I read your poem when it's done?"

  
  


"Yeah, sure. This one isn't anything too embarrassing."

  
  


I tried to finish it as we talked so I could show him. Still, I couldn't believe Tweek recalled that stupid fic I wrote when I was thirteen. It was about Kirk, Spock, Bones and the others; cruising through space as always. They found a planet full of giant guinea pigs. Not the evil ones that attacked South Park but benevolent rulers that lived forever as long as they could eat. They were running out of food and dying out in mass numbers and there nothing the crew could do. The numbers just didn't work out. No race can live forever, reproduce and eat that much and expect to live forever. Soon there was only one guinea pig left. A small, young one with a tan stripe on her back. Kirk kept the baby for a while and named her Stripe. All this before handing her over to...ugh...Spaceman Craig. The brave explorer with his alien 'friend' that conquered the forces of evil. They adopted Stripe and the story just ended there. I never finished it because school started. Maybe that is for the best. Time to finish this silly poem. A few more lines...and it was done.

  
  


"Here you go." I slid it to my blond lover. No way in hell I would call him that in person.

  
  


"Alright!" His eyes scanned it a few times. "Heheh, it's funny." He snorted at the ending, setting it down. "You dork."

  
  


A few of the others stopped by to read it, all getting a good cackle. Finally, Kenny walked over to read it loudly so he could humiliate me like any good teacher.

  
  


"Fluffy, fuzzy, warm and fat. You look hot, nude or in my hat. Sexy in my bed or on my face. Beautiful from your head to your base. Shapely, stunning, elegant and strong. When I see you, I know our love is never wrong. We've grown together, become quite ripe. The woman that I love. A guinea pig named Stripe." He took a bow. "That was fucking hilarious, you guinea pig loving furry."

  
  


Everyone was losing their mind at Kenny calling me a furry. Did not plan on that last part but whatever. I don't care. Tweek nudged me playfully so I nudged him back.

  
  


"Who knew the stoic Craig Tucker actually had a sense of humor and self awareness?" The yellow haired jackass clapped his hands. "Keep up the good work. Anyone else have some slam poetry for me?"

  
  


More than half the campers raised their hands. We shared crappy poems, jingles and other vulgar shit until lunch. Even a rap battle broke out. Whitest shit that I have ever seen. The rest of the day was normal. Plain and boring. Just how everyone knew I liked it.

  
  


Every day that week was reasonably fun, depending on each of the banal topics. It was like any other art class with an over the top teacher; yelling about art being an explosion or some shit. Tweek had gotten really into finger painting again and not just his face. Bill was learning to "sew like a gay boy" with Christian and Chrissy. Bradley caved by the fourth day, exploring wood burning art along with painting. All his works were strangely religious and sexual. I probably won't be talking to him so much after this. The girls all formed a chorus together, singing gay songs at us boys. Big surprise there.

  
  


By the last day, I had enough poems for a full zine or an afternoon of good Twitter posts. Maybe even something for my old Deviantart account. Haven't been on that shit in years. Honestly, this hasn't been a horrible two weeks with that blond dipshit. If only I could take out these grody nasal airway splints the nurse had up my nose. I sounded more nasal than ever and making out with Tweek was 20% less pleasant. Don't even get me started on attempting oral.

  
  


"Is your nose, hurting?" Tweek caught me fussing with it while we ate lunch. "Need to see the nurse?"

  
  


"I'm good." I groaned, lying. "These things smell like shit."

  
  


"Oh Jesus! For real?" My spaz lived up to his title, taking me seriously.

  
  


"Not literally." A sigh escaped my nose and mouth, making the plugs whistle. "I just want them out but the nurse said-"

  
  


"-a few more days to be safe." Tweek finished my sentence before taking my hand. "Why don't you go lie down for while. I'll cover for you in class." He kissed my hand like I was his princess. I loved it. "Don't push yourself."

  
  


How could I be more in love with Tweek than I was just a few days ago? Oh right, we are 'married' now. I rested my sore head on his for a moment, just to feel that connection. Then I stood up and went back to our mats to lie on both of them at the same time. The cushions hissed as my weight took the air out of them. I was starting to enjoy that sound when I was tired. Not that I would admit it, but I was kind of enjoying this dumb place. The heat, bugs and...assault was a fucking nightmare but being able to unplug and relax almost made it worth it.

Just lying in bed and thinking was one of my favorite pass times when I was alone back home. Being here, did not change that at all. Sometimes, I would think up retarded stories that I would never right. Other times, I thought of crap I would never do. Crap such as; going to deep space or having the world's largest guinea pig farm and theme park. Today, I was just remembering one day out of my life from years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tweek and I had been dating for almost a year and a half. We were very different from the way we are now. Neither of us talked to each other much outside of superficial stuff. Red Racer, pets, school...that kind of stuff. We had not even kissed that much or taken a long hard look at each other in THAT way. Even that time we all went wieners out, we made sure not to stare too hard. That was too gay for us at the time. Others caught onto that more than we did. I remember this one day...

  
  


"Are you guys even a couple?" Fucking Stan Marsh was butting into my business again. "I mean, none of us have ever even seen you guys kiss." His stupid friends were listening in. "Even Cartman's been kissed."

  
  


I just wanted to get my history book and go to class. "That's none of your business."

  
  


They all gawked at me then each other like they knew something that I did not. Tweek was walking up to chat with me between his classes.

  
  


Kyle opened his stupid mouth to sound sympathetic. "Hey, just because they don't kiss or even touch each other, doesn't mean they aren't a couple."

  
  


Fucker. Cartman made a joke about Kyle's mother that got his face slapped while Kenny giggled. The fat bastard started crying while Kyle yelled some fucked up shit at him. Just in time, my friends pulled up to my aid while Tweek remained in the background. Clyde pointed at Marsh, a hard frown on his face.

  
  


"Hey! They kiss plenty! These too make out every day at Craig's house. I haven't seen it but they totally do it, and neither of them even throw up when they do-" Token covered mile a minute Clyde's mouth. Thank God.

  
  


"Look, can we just drop this? Craig doesn't have to validate his and Tweek's relationship to anyone." Always so motherly. "It's pretty rude to ask personal stuff like that, Stan."

  
  


Stan waved his hands defensively. He was still afraid of Token's judgment. "Woah, man...I was just making conversation." Fucking liar. "I'm sorry. If he doesn't want to kiss Tweek, that's his business!"

  
  


Everyone fucking stared at me. Now the school thought I was a manipulative cheater  **and** grossed out by my own boyfriend. The bell rang to get to class. My friends silently apologized for not being able to help, Stan's friends already bailed and Tweek never got to ask me whatever he wanted to.

  
  


"We'll see you in class. I gotta hit the bathroom." Clyde chimed before running off with Token behind him.

  
  


"C-Craig..." I heard a shakiness in my friend's voice that I had not heard in almost a year. Fucking Marsh and I both turned to face the timid blond. "...I'm sorry you don't like kissing me." He gulped. "I-I think we need to talk after school." His finger sunk into his book and his dainty hand shut his locker. "I'll see you later." Then he dashed off to his separate class.

  
  


All I could do was watch Tweek run away from me. Emotional empathy was never my strong suit but I could tell he was hurt. Stan fucked me! I was ready to give him a piece of my mind and fist until he spoke words that chilled my bones.

  
  


"Dude, he's breaking up with you." Stan had his hands in his pockets while I glared at him. "What?"

  
  


"He's not breaking up with me." I was angry but tried to control myself. "He just wants to talk."

  
  


"Dude! 'Talk' always means to things. You're either going to hear about his whole, shitty week or get dumped. Sometimes both. Do you have any idea how many talks I've had with Wendy?" He turned to leave. "Good luck, man."

  
  


"..."

  
  


Tweek was not going to break up with me over some moronic shit, Stan Marsh said. He was not even going to break up with me for not kissing him! Tweek fucking loved me and worshipped me like a God. No way he was going to dump ME! I kicked my locker several times, swearing and then flipping it off. Time for class.

  
  


_ I used to be sooooo angry and arrogant. _

  
  


Telling myself that I was too perfect for Tweek to leave, only lasted about one class period. Every time that I was a dick to him came back to me. Every time I put him down or made him feel like a sidekick. We got along better when we were alone but I could still be an asshole. Even when we were trying to do couple stuff in my room. The last time we tried kissing, I stuck out my tongue and called him gross. Tweek laughed it off, drinking more coffee but I could tell I made him self conscious. Such a dick move. By lunch, it dawned on me that I was a shitty boyfriend.

  
  


"He doesn't like kissing his boyfriend?" Now everyone was gossiping in the lunchroom. "That's not what the Asian girls said." Oh God. "They don't even eat lunch together anymore."

  
  


What!? Tweek had his own peeps he sat with and I had mine. Well, actually...Tweek preferred to eat alone with people only talking to him once in awhile. He even told me it was cool if I sat with the others instead. We ate lunch together sometimes. My spirit sunk. That was bullshit. I almost never ate with him. My own boyfriend and I couldn't forgo my popularity and love of eavesdropping for a few days at a time to join him. I sighed, gripping my tray.

  
  


"Hey, guys. I'm gonna go sit with Tweek for a while."

  
  


They knew something was off but dismissed me. I shuffled over to Tweek's table, sliding in next to him without a sound. A kid that I did not know at the time was talking to him.

  
  


"And then I'll get shot around an oil tanker by by black friend and die!"

  
  


The fuck did I walk in on? Tweek was smiling at least before taking a bite of his cardboard pizza. I haven't made him smile like that in a while. Beats me how long-wait! Was this the motherfucker that he was going to dump me for? I drank my Sprite with a loud slurp to get their attention. Tweek's eyes shot to the floor.

  
  


"What's up?" I stared at the kid. "Who the hell are you?"

  
  


"I'm Douglas." This fucking dweeb adjusted his grey beanie. "You're Craig. Heheh, Tweek's boy-toy."

  
  


The cringe was real. Tweek rubbed his red face, trying to find words. Did I make him this uncomfortable? I was supposed to be his support system. When did I go wrong?

  
  


"We were talking about what we wanna do when we grow up." He eventually spoke up.

  
  


"I want to be a GTA 5 gangster! Breaking into banks and getting all the gold and fucking over the man." The full retard was going on about the game with his mouth full. No way Tweek would leave me for this dork.

  
  


"What about you, Tweek?"

  
  


"Oh uh, when I grow up?" As awkward as he felt, he tried to think. "I'd like to be an architect...heh, but I'm bad at math and will probably just be a barista or something." He ate some gross peas.

  
  


I had no idea Tweek wanted that. I internally cringed again, just feeling horrible. I should have known this with all the models he built. Douglas flung several peas at me until I looked at him.

  
  


"What?"

  
  


"What about you, Craig?" The loser in a grey hat was grinning at me while my own fucking boyfriend would not even look me in the eye. "Human statue?"

  
  


"Fuck you." I puffed out my chest. "I'm going to be a spaceman and go live on a moon base." I regretfully tacked on one last bit. "And I'm going to take Tweek on a moon date."

  
  


Several listeners laughed at my declaration while Douglas seemed to think it was the coolest shit ever. I was being serious. I wanted to live on the moon and go on a date amongst the craters with Tweek. Most of the time, we both felt like we belonged in a different world. That was one deep thing we talked about. How neither of us felt at home on this stupid planet. At this moment, he might think I'm the stupid one for saying something like that in front of his friend.

  
  


"I'd like that." His raspy voice, creaked. We shared a brief glance. "A date on the moon sounds fun...if we don't die or anything." He gulped. "What if our air suits malfunction!?"

  
  


"No way, man! By the time any of us get up there, they will have terraformed it with air and stuff." Douglas' dumb ass interjected.

  
  


"You think so?" His breathing settled.

  
  


"Maybe but I doubt that much will be done outside of domes and improved suits." I scooted closer. "Exploring the rugged landscape with a friend is half the fun."

  
  


"What's the other half?" Tweek wasn't buying it.

  
  


"Duh, getting to second base in zero-gravity!" Douglas was finally making sense.

  
  


If I said I was not smiling at how red Tweek got, I would be a damn liar. Maybe he really did just want to talk after school and not planning to leave me for a nerd that chewed with his mouth all open. Maybe not.

  
  


"As if Craig would do that. He doesn't even like me that much, let alone kissing or whatever second base is." He picked up his tray. "Stick to what you know, Douglas. GTA."

  
  


"Haha, can do!" Douglas saluted my future ex-boyfriend.

  
  


The bell rang and I was left just contemplating what I would do after today. Tweek was going to come over, dump me like hot garbage then...what? I would go back to watching Red Racer alone. I would go back to playing video games alone until Token and Clyde came over. I would go back to keeping all my personal thoughts to myself to fester as a mental illness. Our sleepovers would come to an end and I would have no one I really trust to babysit Stripe. Token was great but his house was so big that it scared her. Clyde sucked with animals. Oh God, I was going to be one of those guys that are surrounded with friends but completely alone.

The rest of the day, I was a mess. On the surface, I was my usual; cool, calm and collected self. Despite that shit, I was on the verge of tears up until it was almost time to leave. I couldn't take it anymore! Tweek was going to break up with me for not kissing him and I could not have that. Not after how much we've gone through and had left to experience together. I ran to his locker to catch him before he could leave. Others were watching but I didn't give a flying fuck.

  
  


"Tweek!" I called out, grabbing his shirt. "Wait for me."

  
  


"Huh-" I cut him off.

  
  


"I don't need others to justify what we have." The next words were much harder to spit out. "But I do need you...I like you, Tweek. I do like you." I could feel my cheeks warming up. Shit, was this blushing? I've never done it before. It hurt and my neck was locking up. "I like you a lot."

  
  


"Uh, I like you too?" Tweek seemed more concerned than moved. Maybe I should be more forward. "Are you o-"

  
  


I cut him off again but this time it was with my lips. I kissed him for the third time ever in my life. Gasps and giggles drifted passed my left ear flap. Dammit, everyone was staring at us again. I pulled back from the rough, brief smooch. I fucked it up this time but it still felt kind of nice. Because I was letting Tweek know how I felt. It wasn't about touching mouths or any of that. It was about making Tweek felt...loved. I loved him. I might not have known it at the time but I sure felt it.

  
  


"Uh..." He was stunned.

  
  


"Please don't break up with me. We already did it once and it sucked." My damn tongue touched my lips like a Goddamn gaylord. "I'll kiss you more if that's what you need."

  
  


"Uh-I-ah—I wasn't going to b-break up-" He gulped. "I wasn't going to dump you, Craig. I just wanted talk about...um something."

  
  


WHAT!? I got a sinking feeling in my gut. I was worrying about this shit all day for nothing? I got myself all worked up about being alone and he was not even planning to drop kick my ass like Wendy and Stan do every week? I am not sure why this pissed me off but we got into a fight and ended up not talking for a few days.

  
  


Plus side, we started kissing a lot more and actually enjoying it. A few months later, I talked to me about that something he wanted. It was his PowerPoint agreement to taking the Tweak V-card. Pretty sure he revised it after this day.

  
  


My memories were interrupted by me fading in and out of consciousness and were soon corrupted by weird dreams of Jason Voorhees trying to kill us all. Thankfully, Tweek woke me up by plopping his peach booty down next to me. The hiss of air leaving the mats brought me back. The sun looked like it was already beginning to set.

  
  


"How long?"

  
  


"Only two hours. It just rained." He snuggled into my side. "Been a lot of that."

  
  


"Global warming." My arm went around him, clutching his tummy. "We should bail and just go to the moon."

  
  


"Heh, dork." His breathing slowed along with his heart. "I miss my birds."

  
  


"I bet." Tweek rolled into me, sniffing my armpit like a strange cat. "You just got Sochi."

  
  


"Sophie is her name." Time for his listing. "Sophie the Cockatoo, Chichi the girl Parakeet and her husband, Jerome and my old parrot Chester. I hope mom remembered to feed them every day."

  
  


"I wish my parents let me get a bunch of guinea pigs so Stripe wouldn't be lonely." I blinked as I remembered something. "In a lot of places you have to have two at a time because they are social animals."

  
  


"That makes sense." Now Tweek was nuzzling my jawline. "Well, if we ever live together-" He stretched out before wrapping his arms around me. "-you can have all the piggies you want."

  
  


"Awesome." My fingers ran through his messy hair. "Wanna go practice our dance?"

  
  


"Really?" His head poked up from my underarm. "Alright, let's go." Rough hands pushed off my frame before reaching for my arm to pull me up. "We can practice in the lunchroom. A few of the others are already in there."

  
  


We spent the rest of the afternoon just practicing our routine with about three of the other pairs. Kenny was still in the art room with the others and from the sounds of it, he was teaching them how to sing. They were all fucking horrible. Bradley gave up on learning that shit but he's proven himself to be a badass dancer. He was going full Footloose or even Dirty Dancing with some of them. All those muscles helped him maneuver the girls and guys with ease. It kind of pissed me off because I could not lift Tweek over my head like that. I could dip him for the most point but I've dropped his ass more than thrice so he prefered to lead now. Tweek was not a bad leader but with his height, my long limbs threw us off and left him dipping me too low. Also, he was dead set on leading me through this dance. It was his overcompensation again.

  
  


"Hey, Tweek." Time to tell him. "I think this will work better if I lead."

  
  


"I can do this, Craig." His lips pouted. "And I don't want to get dropped again." He spun me awkwardly as he talked.

  
  


"Tweek! I am too tall for it to work like this. Lets just try it with me leading again, please? I promise not to drop you." I asserted myself into the lead. "Just trust me?"

  
  


My spazzy mate groaned but handed over control to me. We practiced until dinner and much to our surprise, we improved. Once Tweek finally relinquished control, things went so much more smoothly. It took all my strength to dip and pull him back up but never dropped him. I have already fucked Tweek over enough times for one lifetime. Never again! No one would hurt him or make him cry and I was never going to let him fall. At least not alone. By the end of our practice, I fell over and took him with me. We laughed on the floor for a while, sharing a kiss only after the others left or looked away. Tomorrow was the last week we would be here in this camp for assholes and deplorable. A week of tests; ending with a party to say good fucking bye. I cannot wait but it is going to suck going back to bed at night without my sweet nut job. No more cuddling after a long day of classes and activities.

  
  


"Hey, let's get some shaved ice when we get out. I know a place that makes some amazing Asian treats." Tweek was holding my hand as we headed back to our spots. "They even have egg pudding and taro ice. Jesus, I am Jones'n for something sweet. Or something icy in general after all this heat."

  
  


"Okay." I relished the idea of going on a real date with Tweek again. It had been almost four months now since we got to go out together. "I love you." Oh shit! Did I say that out loud? With my lips!? FIRST!!? My spine tingled and I could just feel my cheeks heating up.

  
  


"Heheh...back at you, queer." He paused, then asked. "Hey, Craig? I'm sorry I was being so stubborn about the dance."

  
  


"It's fine." I squeezed his hand before sitting on the mats. Please let this embarrassing moment just pass. "What's important is we learned it." I lied down, stretching out. After a moment of silence, I asked a seemingly random question. Something to break this tension. "Studio apartment, small house, trailer or cottage?"

  
  


Somehow, he knew what I meant. "Studio apartment all the way for our first place." The blond went to get into his sleep shirt. "Above a coffee shop would be a dream."

  
  


"Maybe we should move to New York or Seattle for that." My lips were bending at the thought of a small apartment all alone with Tweek. I get back up to change, imagining a young adult life with him. As badass as space would be, that would be cool to.

  
  


We got comfortable together, holding hands under the blanket. Neither of us even got around to saying good night before blacking out. All the dance practice and expression of emotions was exhausting. One week to go.

  
  


**Chapter 8 end.**


	9. Tests and Graduation Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camp is ending, time to party!!

**Craig's POV**

  
  


It is the last week here at Satan forsaken camp! Thank fucking God for that. The rain also seems to have stopped but that meant there would be mosquitos in no time. I hope we are gone before that happens. The last thing I needed was itchy bites on my thighs.

We were informed of all the tests we would have to take before the parties at the end of the week. I was ready to get it over with and leave. These were not just the ordinary essays or paper tests, either. There would be: Personality tests, Temperament tests, Stress tests, Memory tests and even fucking Kenny's retarded ass art and dance stuff. Since these exams were announced this morning, I have not been able to find Tweek. He panicked at all the “pressure” and went off to hide. He wasn't at our mats, the art room or anywhere else that I inspected. Bastard was always a boss at hide and seek.

  
  


“ Tweeeek?” I decided to rummage around in the kitchen a second time. “Tweek, where the hell are you?”

  
  


“ What are you doing in here, Mr. Tucker?” One of the cooks questioned like I committed murder, while washing a pan from breakfast. The others went out to get stuff for the party.

  
  


“ I Can't find Tweek.”

  
  


“ He's in the bread pantry.” He seemed annoyed. “I tried to pull him out and he started crying so I left him there.” The tall fuck put his pan away. “Bests get him going before you're later for study hall.”

  
  


Maybe I should take my time then. To do just that, I stared for a moment, dragging my heels...then walked over to the bread closet. Once I opened the old door, the scent of bread and canned jams hit my nostrils. Awesome. On the floor, there was a short boy, shaking and pulling on his hair in ways I had not seen much but still more than I liked.

  
  


“ Hey, Tweek.”

  
  


**Tweek's POV**

  
  


My heart fucking skipped when I heard my name being called! Was it a counselor or someone wanting to kick my ass!? Because I would fuck then up! My ears were ringing as well so I could not detect who's voice that was. All I could see was a tall shadowy form, looming over me. My eyes were too watery to see see clearly, so I cleaned them with my shirt. Once clean, I could deduce the dark figure before me, was Craig. My boyfriend. Finally, my chest began to still enough to breath correctly. I released my hair, strands of it were stuck to my wraps. I pulled  **out** my damn hair for the first time in years. So many successful years of growing it back, just to fuck it up.

  
  


“ Hey, dude.”

  
  


Craig came in and sat with me amongst all the bread and jelly. His gentle hands raked through my mane to fix it. Fingertips worked into the sore spots, soothing them and possibly stimulating hair re-growth.

  
  


“ What's wrong, my swamp eyed boy?” Was that a reference to a song? He took a breath. “Testing anxiety again?”

  
  


“ Ugh, yes.” Shame sunk deep into my core for worrying Craig. “How th-the hell am I more screwed up over f-finals than getting my di-p-pe-penis touched?”

  
  


“ Well, clearly one fucked you over worse.” His hands moved to my spine. “You're only kind of a pussy, Tweek.” We locked eyes as I tried to get his point. “The rest of you is Grade A tough guy.” His gaze wavered. “So uhh...you can be fucked up by whatever you want?”

  
  


“ Heh...” Why did I laugh? “Let's go study then.”

  
  


“ Sure you don't need a moment?”

  
  


“ No.” I shook my head. “I'm done being scared. Let's do this.” I rose up with my Craig, taking his hand.

  
  


Silently, we exited the pantry, stealing some bagels and plum jam on the sly before going. Crying like a big-bubble-blowing-baby and being the alpha gays sure made you hungry. Pretty sure that the cook was just glad to see us get the fuck out of his kitchen. Craig and I, grabbed the study sheets and chose to review them from our mats. Katy, the twins and Bob were doing the same. The rest were studying with Kenny in the art room. My fat ass sank into the bedding, followed by Craig's tiny butt just plopping into my lap. He's never done that before and it kind of hurt.

  
  


“ What?” His eyes drifted to me. Devoid of all social cues as always.

  
  


“ Nothing.” I just popped open the jar, tore off a piece of the bagel and dipped it in the jam.

  
  


“ Ahhh...”

  
  


Craig held his mouth open, wanting my bagel. He's lucky that he's so damn endearing or I would have eaten it in front of him. Although, because he was so cute, I gave him the first bite. The greedy boy ate the whole chunk and nipped my fingers.

  
  


“ Ack! Craig, that's gross-” Bastard just cut me off with a pair of sticky lips to my cheek. “Gah, let's just study.”

  
  


“ Heheheh...” Craig finally crawled out of my lap and got out our papers.

  
  


Most of this crud was morality based or obvious trick questions. They wanted to make sure that we were all mentally stable enough to leave this place and NOT get sent to jail. I've taken tests like this before in elementary school. After I started getting in trouble with Cartman's gang. Anger and sour memories returned to me. Fuck, Cartman and most of those guys.

  
  


“ Might not wanna get pissed while studying for a temper test.”

  
  


Was I getting visibly mad? Fuck. I took a few deep breaths, burying my rotten past with those assholes. It was time to be a man and lay that shit to rest. I was not going to throw away my 'progress' for that dick muncher. Hell, one of his friends was even our teacher now. Funny how that worked out. Kenny was our way out of here, after years of him and the others probably putting us in here. Wait a minute. Oh God...

  
  


“ Oh Jesus...” Dismay was tight in my throat. I could not swallow this one down.

  
  


“ What?”

  
  


My heart stopped as I remembered the events leading up to my breakdown. “Oh my—oh fuck! FUCK!!” Next thing I knew, I was standing up. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!! That motherfucker put me here!”

  
  


Craig shot back, almost scared of my outburst. I even heard his head  **_thunk_ ** against the wall. Others were rubbernecking at us like I was going to have some sort of paroxysm. I just might with how fucking pissed I was. My whole body was shivering with umbrage!

  
  


“ That son of a bitch! I'll fucking murder him when I get out of here!” My fist met with the window behind us. It would have broken in a cool way if it wasn't open. Now I just looked moronic.

  
  


“ Who!? Kenny?” Craig was undoubtedly confused. “The principal?”

  
  


“ No!” I clutched his shirt, shaking him. “Fucking Cartman! It wasn't even lunchtime—it was the finals---FUCK! How can I just forget!?” I dropped my man and screamed, pulling my hair. My thoughts were racing and manic. “I didn't have a breakdown!” My hands dropped as I corrected myself. “Well I did...but it wasn't fucking coffee spilling or from the test. It was fucking Cartman.”

  
  


Craig was soon just as livid as I was. “No...what did he do to you!?” His eyes grew bloodthirsty.

  
  


The others that were aware of the asshat all chimed in. That was basically everyone in this camp from within a 25 mile radius of South Park. They also questioned what the bovine bastard did to me. I did not answer them. This was between me and the Headmaster now. I swerved around Craig, stomping off to find the leader of this place.

  
  


“ Wait for me!” Craig tried to keep up in vain.

  
  


Along the way, Kenny stopped me at the exit. He must have heard my screams because there was the butch queen and a few counselors with him.

  
  


“ What's going on, Tweek?” He tried to put his hands on my shoulder to stabilize me but I just ended up shaking him too.

  
  


“ CARTMAN IS THE REASON I'M IN HERE!!!” My voice finally fucking broke with that scream and I actually sounded like a dude for once. “Headmaster! I need him, now!” I dashed passed them all.

  
  


“ Cartman!?” The sergeant roared as her voice faded behind me.

  
  


They followed after me, Craig was lagging in the back. None of that mattered right now. I must see the boss before I lose my nerve. Just before I got there, I could hear a mob forming in the halls.

  
  


“ Headmaster!” I busted open his door. Okay, no I didn't but I did walk in fast and slammed it on the others. “We need to talk.” I examined the area around his desk but could not find him. “Sir?”

  
  


“ Oh-um...take a seat.” He was doing Tai-Chi on his Yoga mat.

  
  


The others were all yammering outside the door and I could even make out Craig trying to politely get in. For once, I wished he would butt out. The Headmaster and I met at his desk but I could not sit down. His intuition was pretty good since he picked up on my apprehension immediately. Thankfully, he did not force me to.

  
  


“ What has happened, Mr. Tweak?” His tone was soft enough to calm me down and get me to talk.

  
  


“ Sir, I did not melt down and attack Craig before coming here. Not on purpose at least.” I was gulping a lot from the tension in my throat. What was I even getting at?

  
  


“ Tweek, it was never your fault. We all know that you aren't a violent man. You just have some issues and you've come a long way in overcoming them.” Now he was smiling but just not getting it. _ It was pissing me off. _

  
  


“ N-no, you're not listening. I didn't just  _ lose _ it that day. Someone said something that set me off. Something...awful.”

  
  


The Headmaster did not seem moved. “Um, Tweek-”

  
  


I breathed deep. “Eric Cartman freaking t-tr-triggered me!” I almost gagged at using that hackneyed term but that is what happened. The Headmaster started taking notes, encouraging me to continue. “That fat fuck—er...sorry. Eric Cartman was sitting next to me at my finals.”

  
  


For months, I recalled the events of that day wrong and couldn't figure out why nothing added up. I couldn't for the life of me decipher why the school were more concerned with me hurting others over myself. Aside from my fights with Craig, I wasn't violent. At least no more than the other boys.

It must have been so calamitous that I chose to recall it wrong. It was not at lunch time at all. If it was, Craig would have been there with me but he wasn't. The finals were being held in the cafeteria. That must have made me think it was lunch time. Every thing was such a blurr but I had to focus. I had to communicate this properly.

Coffee was spilt on me at lunch before this all went down but as I will go on to state many times, this was not what set things in motion.

We were the last section of students to take the test. At last, memories of that putrid day came back to me in vivid detail. The thunder, the burn on my leg from the coffee I never got, the pressure from not studying enough...I was stressed. Not enough to lose my damn mind, though. Years of therapy, working out and having a supportive boyfriend had cured me of that. At least I thought it did.

Eric  **FUCKING** Cartman was messing with me the whole final. Not his usual teasing. I could handle the same old crap. “You're not a fag, Tweek. You're a queen of the queers.” or “Nice pants, do they come in men's?” Those were all things that I stopped caring about forever ago. Especially since we all knew Cartman's gay jokes stemmed from him being gayer than I was. Also, he was so jealous of Craig and I. No, that was not what set me off.

  
  


“ You're dad doesn't love you.” Fucker knew I was ignoring him so he upped the game. “You're a fucking retard and you're gonna fail. Then your dad's gonna kick you out...and Craig is gonna dump your special-Ed ass. Heheh...”

  
  


This was ticking me off just remembering but somehow; I still managed to tune him out and take my exam. The question was a hard quadratic equation. Letting Carman get to me would not help solve this problem. I remember actually feeling kind of good at how mad Eric was over not fazing me. Then the fucker pressed the  _ mama button _ .

  
  


“ Your mom is kind of getting old. She might die soon. What's  **that** gonna be like for you?”

  
  


**NO ONE** talks about my mama! I shot up and took a swing at Cartman's fat ass but I missed in my blind rage, knocking over everything on the table. He squealed like the pig he was. I swung at him again and the tubby freak somehow dodged it. Most likely by falling over. Everyone was laughing at me for not being able to kick  **CARTMAN'S** ass. At least, it felt like they were laughing at me. They might have been cheering in retrospect. The thunder got worse, my panic attack was setting in and mixing with fury. I lost it at that moment and just wanted to get out. That's when everything went to shit.

  
  


“ And that's what really happened. This sociopathic bastard back at my school was harassing me until I broke.” I rubbed my hot face, realizing how pathetic this must sound. “I'm not trying to make excuses-”

  
  


A pen broke in the large man's hand. “CAAAARTMAAN!!!!” The Headmaster slammed his fists on his desk, making me jump. He struck the desk so hard that it cracked. “That shit has been sent in this program three times! He is the reason we are here and not our old, much nicer place! Fucker infected the water after shitting in it for the month.” He took out his phone to make a call. “You're free to go, Mr. Tweak. Don't worry, I'm taking care of this.”

  
  


“ Uhh...okay?” I was sliding out of the chair, waiting to see what he was going to do.

  
  


“ Hey, bruh. Yeah, yeah...that brat again.” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah I'm still PC...ugh just handle it.”

  
  


I was out of there the second I heard the 'PC' frat mentioned. The others were outside waiting for me. Some with concern, others ire over their own experiences. Another room of people that were personally victimized by that butt muncher. They all stared at me for a moment, filling me with fresh tension.

Craig stepped forward, eyes meeting my own for a moment. Was he mad that I blocked him out just now? The girls were giving me a similar gaze but keeping their distance. Suddenly, Craig pulled me into his chest. His heart was beating against my face while his hands tightened around my head. My ladies and a few adults joined him, making this a weird group hug. Once the awkwardness faded, their embraces began to sooth my irate mood.

Kenny was stomping off to make a few angry calls of his own. One way or another, fat boy was getting his. At least I wouldn't have to do anything myself and was getting hugs! Probably still going to kick his ass after this.

After all that mess, I got to go back to my mat to study with my boyfriend and new best friends. I was still pissed but felt a lot lighter now, knowing that I'm not a crazy asshole. Cartman was. Passing these tests should be no problem!

And it was not. Five days later; the tests we're held and passed with ease. We all graduated or something. Even Bradley was deemed mentally stable enough to go home after this. The cooks were carrying in all kinds of food while the counselors brought decorations. Obviously, we have to put them up. That was more fun than I thought it would be. Mostly because it was fun watching Craig hang things up high and exposing his tummy. By the time we finished, the whole place looked like a disco-tech, complete with a disco ball! The lunch room was now a dance room and it was beautiful!

  
  


“ This is going to be off the fucking chain.” Craig droned with as much excitement as he could muster. “I'm gonna put on my suit.” He dashed off to get dressed three hours early.

  
  


Several of us just shook our heads while others sped out to do the same. Tonight would be our graduation party and tomorrow, we would go home! It would be a joyous day for me. I missed my bed and my mom more than I liked to admit.

4:30 PM rolled around in a flash. All that was left to do was party...and I guess have Kenny judge us on our dancing. Easy enough. The blond just mentioned, plugged a data stick into his computer then hooked that up to the giant speakers. Yes, he was technically going to be the DJ. The first song he put on was some pop song that was popular back when we were in middle school. Everyone but Craig and I ran out to the floor.

  
  


“ No, thank you.” I turn my gaze to my snazzily dressed dudebro. “Let's tear up that snack table until a good song comes on.” I twitched slightly from the loud music.

  
  


“ You read my mind.” He was finally breathing easily without those plugs up his nose. “Let's feast.”

  
  


We did just that. Ate so much fruit, cheese and cake that we didn't notice that it was already the fifth song. Shit...it was the tango melody. Kenny must have put the signature song for all our dances in their at some point to test us. My eyes darted to Craig and he nodded.

  
  


“ I'm ready.” He was actually smirking as he took my hand.

  
  


That extra week and a half to practice really helped. The moment we stepped onto the floor, the rhythm filled us and the moves become second nature. Craig placed a hand on my hip and lead me across the dance floor while others joined their partners in less skilled versions of the Tango. Kenny seemed far more pleased this time around as we followed the the music around the room. Suddenly, the song changed! Was it a freaking remix? Soon the Tango music warped into Public Enemy by the Bloody Beetroots. This was the song Douglas and Maria were learning the Running Man to. Almost like they were programed, they busted into position and did the full fucking thing. Kenny made sure that all the teams had the right song for their display. He sure knew how to make a test enjoyable.

  
  


“ Yeah, yeah, yeah! You all passed. Now get your asses shaking, I gotta make a call!” Kenny gave us a thumbs up before moonwalking out of the room. Freak.

  
  


We just shrugged at each other and went back to cutting loose! Craig, the Twins, Douglas and I went back to the snack table to pig out. They even had sodas and Frappes for us! I hit that shit like I hit Craig's ass. Craig silently challenged me to see could chug their drink faster. He had a coke and I had a chocolate Frappe...challenge accepted. Simultaneously we downed our sugary messes. Somehow, we finished at the same time.

  
  


“ ...How did you drink a carbonated drink that fast-”

  
  


Craig puked coke onto the floor, then proceeded to rip Douglas's jacket off and throw it on the puddle. When Douglas asked him “why the fuck he would do that”, he just gave him a hug and finally walked back to the dance floor. That's my Craig.

  
  


“ Sorry, Douglas.” I pat his back. “Craig is kind of weird.”

  
  
  
  


“ Does he not like me?” Douglas was almost clinging to me.

  
  


“ What? Nooo, no...maybe.” I scratched my neck. “I don't think so. He's just a little...well, weird. The sooner you accept it, the easier he is to love.”

  
  


“ I guess. I just hope he doesn't hate me.” The shrimpier guy scooped up his jacket but decided to just leave it there.

  
  


By the time I reached the dance floor, an old but familiar song began to play. A song that Craig and I used to love at the Sixth week danced. Earth, Wind & Fire's: Let's Groove. Our natural Sympatico kicked in. My feet started to tap, as did Craig's as we made our way to each other. With his right hand, he grasped my left and we started dancing to that funky 70's beat! Flashbacks to middle school filled our eyes with stars. The others seemed to enjoy this song almost as much as we did. Bradley was rocking out with the Headmaster while Katy and Maria were doing the worm. The others were just awkwardly shaking their asses, disappointing Kenny. What a bunch of dorks. Nothing like MY dork. Craig was all leg when he freestyled; like a vintage cartoon character.

  
  


I was spun then dipped in an over the top fashion. All the old semi-formals came back to me, filling my heart with rapture. “Thanks.” Our faces were less than an inch apart. I could have sworn that I was about to be kissed.

  
  


“ I never want this to end.” Craig nasalized, a small grin on his now very tan face. Some song about a rollercoaster was playing. Craig's smiles grew and he proceeded to spin me in a circle.

  
  


“ Ack! Craig, I'm getting dizzy!” That did nothing but make him want to spin me faster. I would be mad but it was just so cute. So, I laughed. “You asshole!”

  
  


“ You're going to have to keep up.” He then pulled me close, leading in the waltz we learned. A faster version but it was still all the same steps we were taught.

  
  


My fragile heart has been teased, hurt, stepped on and practically exploded with anxiety...but as long as Craig was with me, it would never break. The afternoon whizzed by with each song. Everyone else had dipped in and out to get snacks by now but Craig nor I wanted to stop. Once we were home, things would probably go back to normal. Us just being the quiet, gay, weird couple that never did much. Or worse, we would be seen as the violent pair. Not that I cared that much, but I could not stand anyone trash talking my favorite Kaiju.

  
  


**_BOOM!!!_ **

  
  


The double doors were kicked open! I practically jumped into Craig's arms. That ugly friend of Bill's busted into the cafeteria, covered in mud and a big stick in his hand. Fosse was his name, I think. We all called him Captain Caveman in Junior High. Holy fuck, he really did look like a caveman with that balding head and club.

  
  


“ Bill! I'm here to save you from this gay place!” He panted, searching for his friend.

  
  


“ Fosse!?” Bill ran up to him. “It's already the last day, dude.”

  
  


“ Huh? Oh...uh-huh-huh...oops.” His stick dropped as he let out more retarded laughter.

  
  


“ Why did you come all the way out here for me? That's gay!” Bill covered his mouth and gasped. “That's...gay.”

  
  


“ That is gay.” The fugly teen took short ass Bill's hands and kissed them. “We're gay.”

  
  


Tears were in their eyes as they held one another then bailed out the front door. Forgetting all of Bill's stuff I guess. Did not see any of that happening in this Creek fic.

  
  


“ Dude, what the fuck?” Craig sounded disturbed.

  
  


“ Hey! You two get back in here!”

  
  


The sergeant chased after them, followed by the Headmaster and Kenny. No one else seemed to care. We all knew they were homos and frankly, we cared more about snacks and dancing.

  
  


“ I don't even know, man.” I paused for a moment. “Let's go make out behind the building.”

  
  


Craig needed not to be told twice. Seconds later, we were out back with our hands all over each other. Mine were molesting those ebony locks while his were giving my butt a deep tissue massage. With my pelvis, I rammed Craig against the wall with a bang. At first, I was afraid of hurting him, but that sensual whimper he let out just made me do it again. In all the excitement, we forgot to actually make out. Craig's mouth was more preoccupied with gasping for air. Mine, however was busy leaving deep bite marks in his shoulders. I know it broke Craig's old 'no marking' rule but he seemed to quite enjoy it these days.

  
  


“ Mmm fuck...eat me up.”

  
  


My tall boy was crying for more, so who was I to ignore?  _ Why am I rhyming? _ My soft lips and sharp teeth, trailed up to his starved mouth, leaving tracks of red. Finally, we kissed akin to hungry animals. Where was all this lust even coming from? My hips were pinning him so firmly that he could not move to save his life. I could feel that he was hard. So was I. My muscled clenched, yearning for so much more. His boney hips rolled against my own. Sinful bliss shot through me as guilt nipped at the back of my mind. Would I have to confess this at Church later? Hm, might be best to keep this between us. I'm sure that God doesn't want to hear about our gay adventures into adulthood.

  
  


“ I wanna go home.” Craig was whimpering, digging his fingers into me. “I want to go home now...” He was actually crying into my neck. It was soft but it was there. What happened!? Did it hurt him again?

  
  


“ C-Craig?” I backed up a bit, still holding on to him. “What's the matter?”

  
  


He sniffled loud and grossly. “I just want to be alone with you.” There was a stutter in his voice. “For real...I want to go home.” His hands cupped my cheek. “I don't-I don't want to lose my virginity at summer camp!” He gulped a few times. “I mean, that's cool and all but...” Now he couldn't even look me in the eyes. “I wanna do it in—o-our bed or something...just us...not here. Not now...don't get mad.”

  
  


My Poor baby was at a lost for words. Nothing he was saying was shocking or strange to me. Why was this so hard for him to spit out? Did he really think I wasn't giving him a choice in this? My own hands cupped his face, motioning him to kiss me. Both of us enjoyed the warm sensation and let it calm the air. Of course, we were still squishing each other's faces.

  
  


“ We're going home tomorrow. We'll have the rest of our lives to figure this out.”

  
  


“ Promise that you won't be gay with someone else?” His voice was more nasal than ever.

  
  


“ Holy crap, Craig! Your voice sounds like shit—uhh, I mean-sure! I'd never go be a homo with anyone but you. That was the question, right?” I released his head.

  
  


That halted the water works. “Oh fuck, my voice does sound weird.” He jacked my stash of tissues and blew his nose.

  
  


“ You're probably still swollen. Let's put a cap on this for now and go take you to the nurse.” I grasped his hand, trying to give his a reassuring smile.

  
  


“ Okay.”

  
  


The nurse gave him some ibuprofen and ice for his nose and sent him to bed early. The rest of the camp, we got to party until 8:30. Then we had to clean the whole damn lunch hall. Fosse would be joining us in the clean up tonight before getting to ride home in the morning. At least Bill seemed pretty happy. Everyone did, in fact. The course was over and we all got to let out our residual frustrations in the form of a bash. Aside from the crappy first week and the sexual assault, this was fun. Craig and I got closer than ever, I became a Barbarian king and even got pretend married. I even found out the cause of my recent mental trauma. Cartman was still getting his ass kicked when we got back. Fuck this pacifism rout. He is dead.

Around 10:48, we eventually finished cleaning. The girls hit the showers, while us boys put the laundry to wash. I was kind of excited when I heard that we would get back our phones as soon as we got up. Along with our remaining snacks and clothes. The bus would take us home at noon. Our parents should be waiting for us as the bus stop at two. Hopefully, mine would be able to make it or I would be riding back with Craig's family. His dad was nice enough to me these days but I think he ships us too much. Not like I would be able to give them grandkids or anything. Maybe he just wanted Craig to be happy.

  
  


After a refreshing shower, I went back to my mat for the last time. Craig was lying on my side with the blanket tangled around his legs. That's my guy.

  
  


“ Hey dude.” His voice was still all off. It almost sounded like Mandark from Dexter's Laboratory. “What?”

  
  


“ Nothing, nerd.” I shoved my way in, snuggling to his side. “Tonight was kind of badass.”

  
  


“ Yup.” A lanky arm coiled around my torso. “Let's never do this again.”

  
  


“ Agreed.” I nuzzled his tender neck. “Night, fag.”

  
  


“ Sleep tight, ass blaster 9000.”

  
  


The next morning, we got all our stuff back and were fed a very filling breakfast. The counselors, nurse, sergeant and even the Headmaster, were on the verge of tears. They grew very close with a lot of the campers. Bradley, of course slipped his number to the Headmaster and Kenny. That's right! Where was Kenny going to go after this? I caught up to him as he was packing.

  
  


“ So, what's your plan, dude? Are you going back to...um, your house?” I refrained from drawing attention to how repulsive his home was.

  
  


“ For a a bit. Gotta make sure Karen is staying in school and the others haven't killed each other.” His voice cracked at the end. “...I need to talk to Butters.”

  
  


“ Still rough between you two?” I almost sat on his cot but decided against it.

  
  


“ Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I hurt him...probably still am.” Kenny hoisted up a box of his junk. “Be good to Craig.”

  
  


“ I plan to.” Now this was getting weird. “So, are we going to see you around South Park?”

  
  


“ Depends. If Butters doesn't kill me, I might stick around.”

  
  


In tandem, we walked out to his powder blue Beetle. Somehow, this was exactly what I saw him driving. Kenny tossed his box in the back with his suitcase and other personal effects. Obviously, he was living out of his backpack and hotels until he found where he belonged.

  
  


“ So, what did you do to Butters?” I cleared my throat. “If you don't mind me asking.”

  
  


“ What do you think I did?” Kenny did not look back.

  
  


“ Oh...uh, I think...I think you cheated on him, question mark?” Was Kenny going to kick my ass for this? Maybe I should get ready to run.

  
  


“ Bingo.” Kenny slammed his door. “We were getting serious. Wearing promise rings” He sighed. “Even talking about going to Romania together.” Kenny pantomimed humping. “But I fucked around on him.” His hands slapped to his sides. “Now, he won't even return my calls or texts.” Kenny was about the same age as me but had so much age behind those dirty blue eyes of his. “I'm such a bastard.”

  
  


“ Do you love Butters?” I wanted to pat his shoulders and comfort him. For some reason, I did not.

  
  


Kenny sighed. “More than he'll ever love me.” He slid into the soil, surely staining his white suit. “Tell me, Tweek.” His tear stained cheeks were red, along with his nose. “How long did it take him to get over me?”

  
  


Why was he asking me!? “Ahh...well...he didn't start a dick club over it or anything.” I scratched my imaginary stubble. “But he still isn't over you. He hasn't even started dating since you left.”

  
  


Water spouted from Kenny's eyes like a broken sink. “Oh my God...I fucked so many people after we broke up!” He slapped his hands over his face to muffle a pained howl. “Mmmmppphhhh!” Then he took a breath. “I suck.”

  
  


“ Uhhh...I think Craig is calling me.” I lied, not able to handle this much pressure. “Look, just talk to him. Try to be a better person. Like, uh, the person he fell in love with. I don't know.” My butt was reared up to make a mad dash.

  
  


“ Thanks...” He calmed himself rather quickly. “Good advice.”

  
  


“ What?” Was it? “Oh-okay. No problem.” I guess, I did good? Whatever, Tweek Tweak is out of here. “Bye.”

  
  


I left Kenny to self sooth whilst I searched for Craig. No way in hell, I was getting involved in that so soon after my last episode. Was that a selfish move? Probably but the last thing I needed was to mixed up another  **THING** with anyone from Cartman's old crew. Even if it was just Kenny. Maybe another time, but today was about getting back home.  _ Safely _ .

Noon rolled around so fast that I almost got left behind when I went back for my souvenirs from this trip. There was plenty to remind me of the enjoyable parts of our stay. I wore a crown of thorns on my head, held a stick sword in my hand and had a coffee can of Facebook and Twitter handles. My dear thief had a few trinkets to remember our quest as well. A blue feather in his hat, his nose splint and a glittery bow tie that he stole. As the bus loaded up, we sat around the back and held hands. Much like the day we came to the fondly christened, Camp For Assholes.

  
  


“ You better message me when you get back.” Maria poked me in the head from the seat behind us. “You need to meet my daughter.”

  
  


“ I promise I will.” I snickered. “You girls all invited to my birthday next week. I'll PM you when I figure out where it is gonna be.”

  
  


The girls let out a shrill expression of delight at the invitation. I would have thought Craig had some objections but his attention was of his phone. Bill, Fosse and especially Douglas weren't so happy.

  
  


“ Hey! You're not going to invite your fucking boy over here?” Douglas was pouting.

  
  


“ That's gay!” Bill and Fosse were talking in sync. Creepy.

  
  


“ Fine, you guys can come too.” My free hand waved in defense. “Just try to be cool.” I pointed to the girls as well. “That goes for you all. No funny business at my party.”

  
  


They all caught on to my throw back to the counselors and chuckled before crossing their hearts. This was when Craig decided to pay attention.

  
  


“ Damn, what am I going to do with the five kilos of cocaine and kegs of beer I hid in the woods?”

  
  


His sense of humor was so dry that the others weren't sure if he joking or being dead serious. Lori rubbed her arm and side eyed Chrissy. Douglas was far too excited for his own good. What happens when two guys with sardonic senses of humor exchanged japes?

  
  


“ Holy crap, I always wanted to do cocaine! Can we stab hookers and snort it off the corpses!?”

  
  


“ What?” Now Craig wasn't sure what to say. “I...I don't actually have coke.”

  
  


“ It's okay, I don't have a hooker.”

  
  


There went any hope of this being a comfortable trip. Thank God, everyone's phones started to ping. Most of them were our parents or friends that would be picking us up. Avoidant teens mode, activate. The next 35 minutes were spent in peaceful silence. However, I did have a question for my Craig.

  
  


“ Hey, did you still want to take me dick fishing?”

  
  


His eyes rolled in response. “Noodling.” He sent me a message that was just a heart. “And yes.”

  
  


I replied with more hearts. “Is your dad going to take us?”

  
  


“ I got my license, so I'm going to ask to borrow the truck.”

  
  


Verbally, I said nothing. Though, I did send him a very naughty text message that I would never repeated where others could hear it. No, he did not blush over my note but it did cause his eyes to widen and his lips to purse. His glance drifted towards me, slowly to gauge my reaction. I returned his inquisitive stare with one of mischief.

  
  


“ We might want to see a doctor before trying that, dude.”

  
  


Okay, I snorted and might have passed some gas as his response. I offer to do something so nasty that it was obviously not serious and he worries about consulting a doctor. Oh, how I loved this boy.

  
  


“ I think we'd need to see three doctors and an OBGYN before trying that, nerd.” I elbowed him and got elbowed in return.

  
  


Before we could start another conversation, we were at our stop! My parents weren't there but Craig's dad was. They must still be at the shop. Nothing new with my workaholic family.

  
  


“ Looks like you're riding home with me.” Craig hooked my arm. “Sleep over?”

  
  


“ Heh, maybe tomorrow. I really need to check on my babies. Not mad?” I nuzzled his shoulder as we stood up to leave the bus.

  
  


“ Nah, we're cool.”

  
  


We bid farewell to the others before walking over to Craig's father. That red headed beast was as tall as ever and for some reason, rocking a mustache these days. It was awful. Craig and I, tried not to hold hands in front of our parents. They always acted weird whenever we showed affection. Especially our dads. My dad felt the need to take pictures for his Facebook. The jolly, ginger, giant gave us a lackluster wave.

  
  


“ Hey.” Craig greeted his father with no emotion, what so ever.

  
  


“ Hey.” His father replied, flat as ever. “Ready to go home?” The older man was leaning against his minivan, making it tilt.

  
  


“ Sure, we taking Tweek home?” Craig tossed his backpack in the backseat and went to take mine.

  
  


“ Hell no, I'm not taking the little spaz home.”

  
  


Panic went through my spine! Was Mr. Tucker mad at me for getting his son sent to a camp? Craig's eyes widen in shock at his dad's statement. There was even a bit of hurt in his voice.

  
  


“ Why not?”

  
  


“ Because you're going to drive him home.” His father then tossed a set of keys to Craig.

  
  


“ What?” They hit his chest before falling into his hands. “Whaaaat?”

  
  


Mr. Thomas thumbed behind him at a large vehicle. A black Jeep with slightly tinted glass and big tires. It was clearly used; at least five years old, but in great shape. Craig's mouth dropped, trying to speak but he was at a complete loss for words.

  
  


“ T-that—is that for...me?”

  
  


“ Yup. Happy birthday, Christmas and next six months of being gay.” He slipped into his own car. “See you at home. Your insurance papers are in the glove compartment.” His dad totally sped off after that.

  
  


“ Your dad is so cool!” I was already checking out the new car. “My dad doesn't even trust me with a bike.” The metal doors were so thick. “This looks so safe.”

  
  


“ Yeah.” Craig was still in shock. “I'm glad I remembered my license.” He touched the smooth hood and smelled the new tries. “I'm soooo happy.”

  
  


“ Dude, let's go to a drive thru and get lattes or something.” I was already sliding my happy ass into the passenger seat. The seats were soft and it felt so secure.

  
  


“ Good idea.” Craig jumped in and was actually able to stretch his legs out. “Dear God...this is awesome.” He checked the mirrors, gas levels and buckled up. “Let's party.”

  
  


“ Party hard. Born to be wild!” I buckled up right before Craig took off like a bat out of hell.

  
  


The rest of our afternoon was spent getting Sonic, doing donuts in a parking lot and chasing Cartman's fat ass down the street when we found him. That was the best part. We chased him until he shit himself and cried. THEN our old PC Principal found him, along with the high school principal and some others. Fat boy was fucked. After all that, we made it to my house. Dad was still at work but mom was home to greet us. She gave me a large cup of black coffee and dinner for us both.

  
  


“ I heard what happened at the camp, sweetie. Are you alright?” My mom was spacy but she did care. Still, I was surprised she knew what went on. “Do you need to see your doctor?” She held my hand at the table.

  
  


Before I could respond, Craig spoke. “I think he should see an attorney. Mental illness is no excuse for what she did.”

  
  


“ Shut up, Craig.” I didn't mean to sound so rude.

  
  


“ Tweek! Don't say shut up at the table. Craig is just looking out for you. Personally, I agree.” Of all times for my mom to pay attention. “What that girl did to my baby...I cried when I found out.”

  
  


“ No you didn't. You're on too many anti-depressants for that.” I rolled my eyes, just wanting to move passed this topic.

  
  


“ Well, that is true, but I was still worried.” She drank her coffee. “Are you sure you do not want-”

  
  


“ No! I just want to forget it.” I pulled on my hair. “Please...I'm messed up enough, mom.”

  
  


She sighed, sharing a concerned glance with Craig. “Alright, dear. I'm still going to schedule you an appointment with Dr. Mendez.”

  
  


“ Alright, mom...can it be after my birthday? I want to have a party this year.”

  
  


“ What? A party? Oh my...you never want a birthday party.” Mom was actually smiling now. “Did you make new friends at summer camp?”

  
  


“ He has like seven girlfriends now.” Craig took a bite of the chicken curry my mom made. “He even got them to take their tops of-OW!” I pinched him on the back part of his arm while my mother laughed. “Dick.”

  
  


My mom was absolutely ecstatic at me making friends and stuff. She was already gone to plan my party for me. Lord knows how that was going to go with her in charge. Craig and I ducked out to my room to check on my pets and make plans for the rest of summer. My birthday was in four days and Craig wanted to go Noodling right after that. At least we were done with that crazy chapter in our lives.

  
  


_ Time to start another! _

  
  


**End Chapter 9.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one is the last one.


	10. Chapter 10: What Comes Next/Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek's birthday and other shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER A YEAR OF NOT KNOWING HOW TO END THIS, HERE YOU GO! Just in time for Creek's 2 year anniversary. Maybe one day I'll continue this in a sequel. Either way, enjoy the story and thank you all for following this long. I love you all!

**Craig's POV**

  
  


Tweek's birthday went off without a hitch. It was held at the coffee shop and ran until midnight. His parents shut the store down for the day, ordered so much pizza and his favorite Italian sodas. Coffee ran like water as a bunch of rowdy girls sang their praises of their Barbarian king. Clyde volunteered to bake the cake whilst Token busted out a projector so we could watch movies on the wall. This was Tweek's first birthday since he was a toddler. We all made sure that it was fucking badass. By the time he opened his gifts, there was an ocean of paper and bags.

Everyone spoiled him the best they could. Each of the girls got him shirts, boots, pants and hair products. Apparently, they wanted him to look “hawt” for me. Douglas, Bill and Fosse; all chipped in to get him ANOTHER bird. A very fat, blue parrot that he named Sapphire.  _ Never did like the idea of giving a living creature as a gift. _ Especially after the custody battle over Stripe in fourth grade. Token gave Tweek the brand new projector, a game system and several games! Freaking rich kid. Making us all look bad. Clyde gave him a hug and giant cake. Gay. Even his parents gave him a personal coffee maker for his room. My gift was going to be the trip but, fuck it! I gave him one more for the party.

  
  


“ Aww! Thanks, Craig.” He hugged his new blanket. A fluffy, blue one with a silky underside. “I love it.” His new bird was on his shoulder, pecking it. “I love you.”

  
  


Tweek just professed his love for me in front of our friends and his family. Then he kissed me on the cheek while his bird licked me with its weird bird tongue. Pride. I felt a fuck ton of pride. Everyone made gross, sweet sounds at our expense. So sappy...I covered my face with my hat.

  
  


When everyone finally went home, I stayed with the Tweaks to clean up. Tweek whistled at his pet in its pink cage. His father and mother were humming a happy melody as they tossed all the garbage. Did this family ever get tired? We finished up around two in the morning. They were like coked up Disney Characters.

  
  


“ Son, your mother and I are going to head home. We're trusting you to lock up and be safe.” His dad winked. “Alright?”

  
  


Tweek's face went crimson. “Okay! J-just...shhh!” He handed Sapphire over to his mom for safe keeping. “I'll be home in a few.”

  
  


“ Craig, are you spending the night?” Mrs. Tweak was smiling at me. A mild shiver went up my spine. “We don't mind.”

  
  


“ Yes, we trust you kids to behave.” Mr. Tweak chimed in, slapping my back. Tweek was dying in the back by now. Why were his parents always so nice? “Well, son?”

  
  


“ Probably. My parents don't like me out late.” My eyes were focused on the floor. “I don't want them to worry.”

  
  


They both decided to give me a hug! Praising me for making a responsible choice or some shit. Tweek almost threw up, as did I. Finally, they left us alone to relax in the closed shop. Tweek made himself another cup of coffee as he locked up.

  
  


“ Well...you're seventeen now.” I walked over to him and stole his free hand.

  
  


“ Hmhm, I am.” He chose to ignore me. I could tell he was being playful though. “What's your point, Godzilla?”

  
  


“ I have a car.”

  
  


“ Aaaand?”

  
  


“ Wanna go anywhere?” I squeezed his hand as he reached the exit.

  
  


“ Kind of.”

  
  


We were outside in the warm summer air. Once Tweek locked the final door and set the alarm, I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled him into me, embracing his meaty frame. Maybe I was still riding those emotions from earlier. I kissed his most likely dirty hand. That did not matter to me. His arms weren't bandaged up tonight in those thick raps. All remaining stitches were removed yesterday and only a long sleeve shirt was hiding his scars.

  
  


“ Lead the way.”

  
  


Shortly after we left, we were at our old Elementary school. The place we met, got into a fight, became friends and eventually boyfriends. I picked the gate lock and Tweek lead us to the playground.

  
  


“ Remember when I beat the shit out of you here?” He kicked at the dirt.

  
  


“ Uh...I think I beat the shit out of you.” How dare he assume that I lost. “I made you bleed.”

  
  


“ Yeah but I gave you a swollen shut eye.” He bumped me with his hip before walking to the swings. Blond bastard almost tipped me over. “Then I kicked your ass again in the hospital.”

  
  


“ ...Nooooo...I distinctly remember winning at least one of our fights.” I pushed him on the swings.

  
  


“ Only when we were older-AH! Not so high!” Tweek clung to the plastic coated chains.

  
  


“ Hmm...who do you think would win; now?” I pushed softer. “I won the last one.”

  
  


“ Because you nut shot me.” He jumped off the seat and did a tumble that looked awesome but painful. “Oww...I'd win.” He stood up, dusting off the dirt and tiny rocks. “I'm obviously stronger.”

  
  


“ ...I don't want to find out.” I made my way over to check on him. “Frankly, I don't ever want to hurt you again.”

  
  


Tweek bit those soft, plush lips of his for a moment, taking my hand this time. “I don't wanna hurt you either.”

  
  


Our fingers laced together and we kissed in the same place we fucked each other up in the third grade. After the kiss, Tweek gave me a fixated look that made my heart race. His eyes were dilated. Seconds later, we were in my car with our shirts missing. The driver's seat was almost flat and one of my legs was hanging out the window. Tweek's damp breath was on my neck and his hand was firmly clutching my dick. He made sure to ask before touching it. What a sweetheart.

  
  


“ Is this okay?” The husky tone in his voice was driving my mad. It made me recoil with agonizing delight. Those rough hands of his twisted around me, making me grow.

  
  


“ Yes.” My own hands were stroking him all over. I needed to take in all his fat and muscle and taste it. I sat up enough to lap at his sweet tummy. It made him laugh as I desperately nipped at him. “Yes, please.” The moment I gripped his belt loops, I jerked his pants down. “I love you...I love you.” I continued to say that shit with his cock, throbbing in my mouth. My hands fondled his squishy hips, motioning him deeper into my mouth.

  
  


“ A-ahh...Craig...” He stroked my hair like the good bitch I was. “I love you, too.” Sexy moans escaped him.

  
  


I popped my mouth off his plump, savory cock. “In me...now, please.” I lied back, giving him permission to do anything he wanted. It would be a damn lie to say I wasn't being a tad gluttonous right now. I couldn't help it; I was in heaven.

  
  


My golden haired Barbarian slid my pants off and chucked those bitches out the window. His grin showed all his pearly white fangs. Oh how I wanted them on me again. Suddenly, his face sank. “Wait, I need a condom...” He searched around for his backpack. “Fuck, I left them at home. I forgot everything.”

  
  


“ Dude, I'm so hot right now, I'd take it dry.” I was back to fondling his chest greedily. My breath was hitching.

  
  


“ Yeah, I know you are but we're doing this right.” He stroked my face so gently; in ways I did not deserve in such a deviant state. Then he kissed my cheeks and pressed our foreheads together. “I want you safe and sound.”

  
  


“ Good thing I grabbed your purse for you.” I relaxed, hoping he'd crawl over me to get it. “Back.”

  
  


“ It's not a purse, dick.” He ended up just reaching for it, giving me a splendid face full of crotch. Sooo happy. “There it is! Thanks, man.” That perfect ass plopped back into my lap. There was a pink foil wrapped square in his hand and a small bottle of pink stuff in the other. “Ready.”

  
  


“ Why is it all pink?” Not like I cared at this point. All I cared about was getting my ass destroyed by the angel before me, but as if I was going to pass up an opportunity to fuck with him.

  
  


“ Because, fuck you.” So forceful. He tore open the protection and put it on a lot better than the last time. “Y-your turn.” The bottle was dangled in my face.

  
  


“ I'm your princess tonight, daddy.” I spread my legs as far as they would go, dropping Tweek into the seat. “Slather me.”

  
  


“ S-stop that!”

  
  


It was cute. How hard he fought the urge to laugh; just what I wanted. I wanted this to be loose, fun and worth remembering. The bottle made a hilarious fart sound upon squirting the peach gel onto my king's gentle fingers. One row of them held my junk out of the way, while the others delicately slide into my body. Air forced its way into my lungs and I hitched again!

  
  


“ Ah!” My hands lunged for Tweek's shoulders, propelling him into me. “Ow...”

  
  


“ ...Fuck. Did that hurt?” I loved the concern in his voice so much. Almost as much as his fingers massaging my little boy cunt. “Craig, talk to me!”

  
  


“ Just a lil...keep going.” I nuzzled his hair, inhaling his masculine scent. “Mmm you smell so good.”

  
  


“ Heheheh, thanks?” One of his hands came around to support my back while the other worked its way in deeper.

  
  


The moment I was just relaxed and slick enough, he replaced his hand with a head. This was a lot bigger than his tiny fingertips. Was I scared? Of course; I was finally having sex with my boyfriend. It might hurt a lot, but I knew how amazing this was going to feel in a few minutes. That was stronger than any pain killer. It plunged into me, just enough to get my attention. I cracked my eyes open for the first time in what felt like forever. I was met with Tweek's worried gaze. All he cared about was me. Those magnificent swamps of peridot and sandy brown were peering into my fucking soul. I was never good at the whole 'feeling emotions' thing, but with Tweek; I felt everything. Warmth, sadness, joy, pride, pain and even love. All feelings that I never thought were important before being with him. My perfect spaz gave me a kiss on the cheek, then the nose, then my eyes, then my chin. Everywhere but my lips for a solid minute. Eventually, our lips locked together in such a fucking perfect way that I didn't notice what transpired below. Tweek was distracting me so he could jam his girth into me without a lick of pain. All I felt was that kiss and him knocking into my prostate on his first go. Fuck.

  
  


“ AaaaAAAAH!!” I shuddered, cumming all over our chests. After pausing to let this sink in, I swore. “Fuck!” I slapped my own face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck...I'm sorry.”

  
  


“ It's okay, dude.” Tweek wasn't stopping just because I prejaculated like a fucking nooblet. “You're my best friend.” He let out reassuring chuckles and puffs of air. “I won't tell anyone you're a one pump chump.” Asshole.

  
  


“ S-screw you, Tweek.” I would be more mad if his penis didn't feel so fucking good, going in me.

  
  


He repositioned me to my side, one leg up high, his hips rocking against me consistently. I lost all composure before I knew it and was a complete mess. Semen continued to pool from my pathetic body along with sweat and drool. It was so damn humid and I never kicked on the AC. The windows began to fog up and my Achilles tendons were tense. Somehow, it felt right. Tweek's fiery breath was on my back, licking my twitching spine. Those rough fingers were digging into the back of my leg while his smooth, slicked palms worked my pecs over. There was no more talking. Just fervid moans, sucking sounds and the occasional wet squelch from Tweek bucking harder. I could only hope this was as fun for Tweek as it was for me.

  
  


**Tweek's POV**

  
  


Craig's body felt like a million degrees on the inside~! Simply incredible; even transcendental. His body was all mine for the next few minutes. This is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for. It just made me want to plow him into these fabric seats until he'd be covered in scrapes. It made me want to tug at his hair until he weeped and even leave him in pain for days after. I knew better better than this, though. Craig was my dude and I could never seriously hurt him. Unless he was into that kind of thing. Definitely not on the first time. No matter how much my  **Barbarian rage** compelled me, I would not wreck my boyfriend's ass tonight! Nope. I will be a good boy and take this slow.

  
  


“ H-harder...”

  
  


What the fuck!? Did Craig just ask for me to do it harder? He didn't need to tell me twice! Screw being gentle, here comes my rage! I gripped his bony hips, burrowed my forehead into his damp back, then started ramming into Craig. I had him on his knees after a few thrusts and made quick work; leaving marks on his back and legs.

  
  


“ Aahh! Oh fuck, Tweek!” Craig hugged the head part of the seat and arched his back. He was moaning my name as I sped up. It was so erotic. “N-not that hard...daddy.”

  
  


I slapped him across the ass for that and yelled at him to quit it. The asshole just laughed and kept calling me that until I shut him up by stabbing his skinny ass with my dick until he really was screaming.

  
  


“ Owwwyyy! Tweek, you're meeeannn...” And yet he never told me to stop.

  
  


“ You know it, bitch!” I sunk my hungry teeth into his neck, making him quiver. “Mmmm...ffay ffou luff meph.”

  
  


“ I love you! Oww, ow, ow, owww...I love you.”

  
  


Craig's arching actually lifted me off my knees. I was not going to last much longer at this rate. I held on to Craig like a bull, trying to keep a good pace until the end. My right leg was honking the horn now and people were likely to come out soon. Better finish this up! Gripping on as tight as I could, I thrust into Craig seven more hard times.

  
  


“ AHH f-fuck—T-Tw-” Craig's voice was cracking.

  
  


“ I'm almost there!” I was on my last leg now.

  
  


His arms gave out and he chest planted into the seat. “Oh thank God!” Was Craig actually crying?

  
  


I came harder than I ever did masturbating. I could feel a nasty mess, oozing all over my pelvis. A white light washed over my eyes and my body felt like I was being electrocuted! All my strength left me and I collapsed onto Craig's back. We both were flat in the seat, covered in mess. Craig was whimpering softly into the seat. Did I hurt him? Appears the weeks of foreplay have not prepared him more for this. I felt guilty. If I injured Craig again; I would kill myself.

  
  


“ ...You okay, dude?”

  
  


“ My leg is stuck.” He sobbed through his nose. “It hurts...save me.”

  
  


My lovable dumbass was tangled up in his seatbelt, clearly suffering a major leg cramp. Couldn't have that now, could we? I saved my boyfriend from the dreaded seatbelt then let him out to stretch his legs and fetch his pants. Then...we got dress, destroyed the evidence and drove home in time not to worry anyone. Turns out the whole event took us less than an hour. The whole time, we did not say a word. Once we made it to my house, we silently agreed to take a quick shower. One at a time. We could not have my parents walking in on anything. I offered the shower to Craig first but he just kissed my cheek and allowed me to go first. Such a gentleman. He did however choose to stay in the bathroom and watch me pee and shower the whole time. I fell in love with a freak.

  
  


“ ...” Craig was staring really hard at me, even pulling back my curtains to watch me.

  
  


“ You know this kind of defeats the purpose of not bathing together, right?” I was trying to wash my privates but that was proving impossible with him staring like that.

  
  


“ ...You're right.” The giant freak began taking off his shirt. “Fuck society.” His naked ass got in and stole the showerhead. “Let's co-bathe.”

  
  


“ What? Dude, that wasn't an invitation—whatever.” I peered up at him. “You forgot to take off your hat again.”

  
  


“ Damn.” I slip the wet felt off his head and tossed it with his clothes. “We should try shower sex someday.”

  
  


I gave him a coy smile. “You mean tonight?”

  
  


Craig's eyes became blank dinner plates and his shook his head. “No.” Without missing a beat, he jacked my shampoo and started washing his hair. “My legs still hurt.”

  
  


“ What about your...” I eye motion to his rump. It's hard to hide my concern and not always being able to read him did not help.

  
  


“ Oh, that's fine.” He scrubbed his head. “It didn't hurt that much.” His face was growing a rare shade of pink. “You...k-kissed me and bit me...I was happy.”

  
  


I could not help myself, I hugged my giant weirdo. My fragile ego was going through the roof. Long arms wrapped firmly around me and a smooth tummy pressed against my own. This hug went on for a lot longer than I thought it would. My back was getting cold from Craig hogging the water. Almost five minutes have passed and this was getting awkward. Why wasn't he letting me go?

  
  


“ Uh, Craig? Are you okay?” I gently pinched his side to get his attention.

  
  


Late to respond as always, Craig lifted his head and stared at me. “What?”

  
  


“ You've just been hugging me for like five minutes. I'm, getting cold.” Finally, I got some of the warm water washing over my spine. “You're being kind of...clingy.”

  
  


Craig covered his cheeks, never really hearing that term used to describe him. Possessive, jealous, grabby or even stalker-ish but never clingy! Since we had sex, the guys hasn't left my side and even when we got out of the shower; he insisted in drying me off and picking our clothes. What was wrong with my Craig!?

  
  


“ You look cute in this one.” He held up my workout shirt and underpants.

  
  


Did Craig just call me “cute”? Not a faggot or Princess or his coffee bean, but CUTE!? Something was very wrong here, but I am not going into it naked. I grabbed his selection to slip it on while he rummaged through my clothes for something to wear. He slid into my other work out shirt and red underwear. There was a smile on his stoic face as he sat on my bed. The beanpole grabbed one of my pillows and hugged it, never taking his eyes off of me. It was hard trying to brush my hair when I could feel his gaze, burrowing into my soul. I peeked back, expecting him to be mad or at least giving me that empty stare of his. What I actually saw, stunned me. His pupils were engorged; his eyes glossy and half lidded. He looked high as fuck. No. That was love in his eyes! How could I not have noticed? We banged in his car and came straight home. He was trying to show affection, maybe start another session and I practically pushed him away.

 

Now I feel like the worst boyfriend in the world. Craig would never straight up say “Hey, cuddle me after you cum in my ass!” and here I was just ignoring him. I was ignoring what he  _ really _ needed. Time to fix this. Time to be the man he needs me to be! I took a deep breath, puffed out my chest to assume a masculine posture. Then, I turned to saunter over to my lover boy...only to fucking trip on two month old coffee cups and fall on my face. So much for being a romantic boyfriend. Don't look at me, Craig. Leave me to die in the cups.

  
  


“ Shit!” Craig shot up. “You okay?”

  
  


Thankfully, I popped up before having to be helped like a damn baby. “I'm fine.” My face hurt and my foot was sticky. I wiped the gross ass sludge from the cup onto my wet towel. “I need to clean this damn place.”

  
  


“ I'll help you.” Craig scoot over to let me join him. He returned to snuggling my pillow, possibly to control himself.

  
  


“ We can do it later.”

  
  


I got comfortable, checking my phone, realizing it was Craig's, then checking the correct one. Damn things were all so similar these days. I lied on the other pillows while Craig seemed to stick to the wall. For once, he wasn't even playing on his phone. Just hugging the  _ me _ scented cushion and staring once in a long while. Aside from him making out with my bedding, nothing new. Almost like right before we left for that dumb camp. Back to normal, I guess? No. Something was very different now. I could not tell if that was good or bad yet. We didn't talk for almost an hour. Craig kicked off the lights a few minutes later and again lied next to me, facing away. Still, neither of us seemed to know what to say. Did we ever? My birdies were all sleep tweeting and snuggling in their cages. Even my new baby was getting along with the others like they had always been together.

  
  


“ That takes me back.” Craig finally spoke up.

  
  


“ What?” I roll towards him and he did the same. We instinctively held hands.

  
  


“ Your dumb birds...they all just...go together.” His eyes drifted down. “So easily.”

  
  


“ And that takes you back to...?” I was kind of getting his point but wanted to hear him explain it.

  
  


“ Uh, when we started dating.” He stared at me again. “We started rough, but when we got going...”

  
  


“ It was easy.” I pressed my forehead to his. “We didn't need to talk or go on complicated dates or show off for others. Like we were still just friends.”

  
  


“ Except we kissed.” He smiled with his eyes and brushed our lips together.

  
  


“ Yeah we did.” I pushed back, closing the gap our noses were making. “S-sorry I called you clingy. I didn't mean it in a bad way.”

  
  


“ It's cool.” He finally moved the pillow to under his head and grabbed me in its stead. “I was being weird.”

  
  


“ Just a lil.” I let him cling all that he wanted, enjoying it more than he knew. “I had fun tonight.”

  
  


“ The party or with me?”

  
  


“ Both.” I softly headbutt him.

  
  


“ Good. I was so scared.” Well your voice didn't sound like it. “Can I try it, next time?”

  
  


“ T-topping?” Anxiety was setting in. Craig wanted my ass now and I did not know how to handle that.

  
  


“ Yes. No, wait...no.” He frowned. “I'm not ready.”

  
  


“ Huh? Why not?” Now I was kind of dissapointed.

  
  


“ Too sensitive.”

  
  


“ Ah.” That made sense. My poor uke was not ready for the seme upgrade. Fuck me, I'm using bullshit yaoi terminology again. “No rush.”

  
  


“ Nope.” His legs pulled me in tighter, pressing our pelvises together. “Besides...I want you again.”

  
  


The world went blurry and it became a million degrees under the sheets. Craig soon had me pinned with his legs and one elbow to my chest. He propped himself up, sitting on top of me. Kind of like that first night at the camp, except this time he wasn't pretending. My shirt that he borrowed, flew behind him and left his narrow frame exposed to me. His arms were behind his head, showing himself off. God, he was so sexy. I was sweating bullets just looking at that smooth torso.

  
  


“ C-Craig?”

  
  


“ Fix me.”

  
  


“ Uhhhhhhh...Craig, I think you've come a long way with your quirks-”

  
  


“ Not that, asshole!” He pinched my cheek. “ _ Fix me. _ ” He grabbed one of my hands and pressed it to his chest.

  
  


Craig's heart was racing under my touch. The moment I slid my hand to feel his skin, the underwear he borrowed shifted. Sensitive was an understatement at this point. The lanky fool was already hard as steel. Did he want me to just  _ fix _ his sensitivity problem? Clearly, Craig did not know shit about practicing this stuff on his own time. I moved my hand down to stroke him through the bright blue underwear. His hips jerked a bit, arching himself into my hands.

  
  


“ You do know you can't just fix this kind of thing overnight, right?”

  
  


“ Gotta start somewhere.”

  
  


Fair enough. I slipped the cloth off of his swollen penis, watching it twitch a bit when the cold air hit him. The tip was already wet from his excitement and he obviously wasn't going to last. Shit, what did he want me to do?

  
  


“ Dude, if I just start jerking you off; it's going to be the same as last time.”

  
  


“ Then tell me what to do!” He grabbed his own dick in a clumsy manner.

  
  


“ Ack! Don't aim it at me. Put down the gun.” I sat up, trying to not be in that thing's line of site. “And I'd rather you not practice in my bed, dude.”

  
  


“ I'm sorry.” He sighed, dropping his dick, only for it to stand on its own. “I don't know what to do...I-I never even...before you-” He covered his face. It was actually red now. “So stupid. We already had sex and I still feel like...”

  
  


“ A virgin?” The next sentence stuck in my throat for a moment. “Yeah, me too. Like it doesn't feel real?”

  
  


“ Exactly.” He dropped his hands, his dick actually followed at a slower pace. “I feel like we rushed it.” I heard him gulp. “I don't regret it! But-”

  
  


I gave him an assuring smile, taking one of his hands. “Dude, it's cool. I think this is what it's supposed to be like.” I kissed his hand. “Scary, fun...heh, weird and kind of wrong.”

  
  


“ D-do you still love me?”

  
  


What a strange thing for Craig to ask at a time like this. Or at all. Craig's never straight up asked if I loved him or not. I never asked him either but shit, now that it was on the table, I actually had to think about it. Not because I didn't love him or anything. No, because this sounded like a loaded question. Best to give a simple answer that he will understood.

  
  


“ Nope. I've lost all love for you when I dumped it all into your butt.” I said this in my best Craig voice.

  
  


Tears were forming in his eyes. SHIT! What that too dry? Has my amazing acting skills fucked me over once again? Oh cruel fate! Oh wait, he was laughing now. Just a faint chuckle but it showed that my usage of his wit hath not fallen on deaf ears.

  
  


“ Fuck you, Tweek.” He pinned me again, kissing me hard. “You're still gonna show me how to jerk off later.”

  
  


“ It's a date, fag.”

  
  


The next morning, we went downstairs for breakfast. Mom and dad were already at the shop for the day so we had the house to ourselves. Being a latchkey kid had its perks. We grabbed some leftover pizza and coffee then chilled on the couch. It was cool today so the house was opened up to let fresh air in. Relaxing.

  
  


“ So, want to do the fishing thing tomorrow? I got everything we need.”

  
  


“ Uh, sure? Do we have to go?” I took my leg down from the couch arm. “It sounds dangerous. What if a lake shark is there and bites us?”

  
  


“ That's funny.” Craig just texted away, making plans for our dangerous date. “We're going.”

  
  


“ If I get hurt, it's your fault.” I elbowed him before getting up for more coffee. “Do you want more coffee, Craig?” I waited for him to respond but he did not so I assumed he was alright. “Thinking of finding Cartman today and beating his ass.”

  
  


“ Get in line. Those PC bros are probably trying to convert him with violence right now.” Craig took a plain faced selfie and went back to typing. “Fat boy has been busy while we were gone.”

  
  


“ Still kicking his ass.” I returned to my seat. “Fat Tits Mcgee put us through a bunch of shit. He has it coming.” I sipped my drink. Shit, it was good. The bitter sting of the home brew on my tongue helped take my mind off how pissed I was. “...What did you post?” I checked my phone.

  
  


Craig just posted a selfie with the hashtag 'Chillingwithcoffeebean' below it. It was his tag for me on his Twitter. I gave him a like and retweet with the tag 'Spacingoutwithaspaceman' on it. Again, we had a stupid Twitter conversation while in the same room. We could be making out or having hawt sex right here on my parent's couch but no. Craig and I were sending emojis and l33t speak at each other. Moments like this are what I lived for. After almost three hours of this, movies and more pizza, Craig plopped over on top of me, yawning sweetly in my ear.

  
  


“ Ready for a nap?” After a long day of doing nothing, what could be better? I ran my fingers up the side of his hair and into his hat. That hair was so straight that it was smoother than silk.

  
  


“ Yes.” Craig was totally smelling my hair. His hands were drifting up my shirt, caressing my muscles. His lungs filled with my scent then emptied. “No.”

  
  


Craig was groping my pecs now in an erotic fashion, moaning ever so softly against my neck. Could a guy he be more thirsty? Yup. I was rock hard already from just him touching my chest. In my heated state, less than innocent words escaped my throat.

  
  


“ Mmm suck my cock, you retarded cumslut...”

  
  


“ Okay.”

  
  


What!? Oh shit! Shit! Shit! I really said that shit out loud? Oh Jesus, why would I make a request in such a fucking crude way? That was straight up disgusting and I blurted it at my boyfriend. That wasn't me!

  
  


“ No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that-”

  
  


Craig was already getting up in there, pulling my shorts down. He paused, looking up at me with those dinner plates he called eyes. “...So you don't want me to suck your dick?”

  
  


“ Ah, yes! I just didn't mean to call you-”

  
  


Young Mr.Tucker cut me off with his mouth. Blood rushed throughout my body before sinking to my groin. My chest became tight, needle points forming in my heart. Craig's head bobbed in my lap in such a beautiful way. He got more than half of my length in his mouth. His tongue was so hot against my skin as it; along with his teeth dragged over me. Somehow this felt so different from a doing it while standing. It traveled through my body so much more freely and even felt better. There was no strain on my legs and I wasn't afraid of being caught for once. I had to remember to breath after a moment. All I could do was stare at the ceiling and let the pleasure wash over me.

  
  


“ You're real-really good at this.”

  
  


Craig returned my compliment with a gentle squeeze on my leg and more licking. We ended up spending the whole afternoon just fooling around. Such a wonderful way to waste a day. I almost completely forgot about beating the shit out of Cartman. Guess that will have to happen another day. Pretty sure the mailman saw us through the open window.

  
  


The next day, we were up and out on the road by 10:30 AM. Craig was dead set on taking me noodling before the week was out. The trip was more fun than the thought of catching fish with my arm. We listened to music and talked about the new Resident Evil game coming out in November. We made it to the lake by noon and got right to setting up our base. That stay at the camp made us very proficient at pitching tents and starting fires.

  
  


“ We are so badass. Set up a camp and didn't even have to get help from a grown up.” Craig stood triumphantly.

  
  


“ Dude, we are grown ups now.”

  
  


This just seemed to blow his mind. He looked around as if to process this. His eyes shot to his Jeep, then the camp, then his hands and finally the condoms, keys and gum in his pockets. All adult stuff.

  
  


“ Shit, we are...aren't we? We are officially legal adults in our state. We should apply for college or go rent R-rated movies.”

  
  


“ Good luck with that. Tell me when you find a video store.” I kicked the dirt a bit before deciding it was time to go shirtless.

  
  


“ Ready to noodle?” Asked as he stripped down to his swim trunks.

  
  


Hell no, I was not ready to noodle but it wasn't like I had a choice this late in the game. The water was nice and warm at least and it was so clear that nothing was going to sneak up on me and bite my dick. Craig gave a very brief lesson on how to do this garbage. It boiled down to wading around and shaking your arms in rock nooks and other places catfish like to hide.

  
  


“ Just watch me.”

  
  


Craig squatted down in the water and just fucking went for it! He shoved his arm into some rocks without even looking first. Mud and water splashed all over the place and after a few minutes, he cried out!

  
  


“ GOT IT! I got the fucker!”

  
  


Craig pulled out a short, fat catfish that was swallowing his whole hand. Damn, watching him manhandle that fish was as exciting as it was fucking terrifying! Kind of turning me on. Carefully, my guy popped the fish off his hand and held it.

  
  


“ And that is how you noodle. We're mostly going to be catching and releasing. Only one is going to be our dinner. No mothers since it's spawning seasons. We can’t disturb their population numbers.” He glanced at the fish. “This one is too young to keep.”

  
  


Craig chucked the fish behind him then pointed to me. It was my turn to try my hand and let a fish bite my hand. This was a fucking bad idea. After several minutes of nothing, a few small fish bit on my fingers. None of the big ones were interested in my fucked up arms. Meanwhile, Craig's noodle arms was pulling out and pissing off all the damn fish in the lake.

  
  


“ This sucks. Why aren't they biting me?”

  
  


“ You're thrashing too hard. Just relax and act like a food.”

  
  


“ Act like a food?” I rolled my eyes and kept trying.

  
  


After almost an hour, the biggest fish I had ever seen, chomped down on my arm. Long story short, it hurt like a motherfucker and pulled at my scar tissue, making it hurt even more. I pulled that bastard out of its home and almost knocked Craig down with it.

  
  


“ AHH!! GET IT OFF OF ME! IT FEELS LIKE MY ARM IS GOING TO BREAK!! OW OW OW!!”

  
  


“ Tweek, calm down or it's going to bite harder!” Craig held the flopping fish, getting scratched up by its fins. “Let go of it's gills or it's going to die!”

  
  


“ Just get it off me!” I started punching it in the head.

  
  


“ Tweek, stop hitting it!”

  
  


“ It's tearing m-my fucking arm open, Craig! Fuck this fish!”

  
  


“ You're killing her!”

  
  


The moment he said “her”, I stopped. Eventually the fish let go, because I punched it to death. Craig held the dead fish in his arms, on the verge of tears. Pointing to something on the fish's round belly, it was obvious why he did not want me to hurt it. It was a momma fish. Her giant belly, still full of eggs that would never get fertilized now.

  
  


“ How could you, Tweek?” He let out a single weep as he almost snuggled the fish.

  
  


Now I felt bad and after realizing that my arm was fine, I felt worse. This was supposed to be fun and ended in fish murder. The mother to never be would have to be our dinner tonight and that felt just wrong. We were still going to eat her later but decided to do the right thing and have a fish funeral for her. Craig squeezed out her eggs first in some kind of hope that they would get fertilized and maybe one would make it. So pointlessly sappy but that was my Craig. Next we put her on a small bed of flowers and said a few words.

  
  


“ We did not know her as a person...but we knew her as a fish. She would have made a beautiful mother.” Craig's tone was dry as ever but no less sincere.

  
  


“ She had a powerful bite and fought to the end.” There was my two cents.

  
  


After a moment of silence, I gut and cleaned the fish and we cooked it together in some foil with some salt and pepper and served it with some chips and butter. It was fucking scrumptious. She was so big that we could only eat about 10% of the meat and wrapped the rest up for later. After the big meal, we snuggled up in our tent with the flap open to let the cool air in. I got to be the big spoon in this cuddle which was good, because I was gassy as fuck.

  
  


“ Sorry if I screwed up the trip”

  
  


“ I'll get over it.”

  
  


That was a relief to hear. Enough to allow me to drift off and take a nap. When I woke up, the sun was setting and Craig was still in my arms. I inhaled the smell of his clammy skin, feeling my heart race.

  
  


“ You're awake.” Craig stated out of the blue.

  
  


“ Yes, up...you...mmmph...I love.” Dripped from my lips in the wrong order.

 

Craig was arching his back, rubbing up against me with his ass. Jesus, what a pervert. So I played along and pressed back, firmly. My needy man, rolled onto his tummy and let me mount him without a single hesitation. Parting his legs just enough, I started grinding my erection into his lightly dressed butt. We were still in just our damp swim trunks and for some reason. For some reason, that was hotter than just screwing like normal people. Craig let out a soft whimper as I humped him and nipped at his skin. The heat was rising in our small tent along with the humidity.

  
  


“ A-ahh..f-fuck..” Craig's fingers were digging into the cloth flooring of the tent. He lifted his butt against me, wanting more. “Fuuuck...mmph ride me-” The rest of his sentence was muffled by pillows.

  
  


My hands gripped his sides and I pressed harder. I rocked my hips, breathing on his back as I got into a sort of groove.

  
  


“Like this?”

  
  


“Y-yes…” His voice was cracking. “Ah-please!”

  
  


Craig was whimpering as I sped up. Was this hurting him; going too fast? The only feedback I was getting was muffled yowling and Craig sinking into the ground. His body was tensed up under my touch. Shit, I was hurting him! I’d fucking kill myself if I hurt Craig; but he wasn’t telling me to stop.

  
  


“D-do you like this?”

  
  


“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

  
  


That sounded like a yes to me. It only took a few minutes to reduce Craig to the same drooling mess from last night. Knowing I had the ability to do this to him was so empowering. My thoughts were interrupted by the gentle ticking of rain on our tent.

  
  


“Tweek!” That nasal voiced God screamed out my name, collapsing then proceeding to cry in pain. “Owwww…my dick.”

  
  


“You’re going to a fucking doctor, tomorrow.” I pulled his skinny ass into my arms. “I mean it. We can’t really be doing this if it hurts you.”

  
  


“Yeah, I know.” Those kaleidoscopic eyes were drifting all over the place before settling on my crotch again. “Can I still do stuff to you?”

  
  


Once the rain stopped an hour later, we left the tent to go pee on a bush together. The sun had almost set over all the trees, bathing the landscape in a golden incandescence. Together, we trounced over to the nearest shrub to empty our bladders. Craig wanted to go back to sleep but anyone with a brain knows, you  **have to pee** after having sex or jacking it. Seriously, you’ll get an infection and  **DIE** . Craig thinks I’m overreacting but I know what I’m talking about.

  
  


“Hey, hon.” He motioned up with his head.

  
  


“Huh?” I turn my gaze to the sky, unable to stifle a chuckle. “Eh-haha.”

  
  


There was a double rainbow, going from one end of the forest to the other. Could this trip get any more gay? Just two dudes, looking at a double rainbow while the gentle sound of urination cuts through the silence. Once that slowed to a trickle, a thought hit me.

  
  


“Hey uh, when do we start school again? Hope we aren’t held back.”

  
  


“Fuck if I know. I say we just test out and get started on college or something.” His tone was blasé as ever but there was a hint of salt in his next statement. “Fuck, I’m not ready. Who am I kidding?”

  
  


After putting me dick away, I took his hand. “Afraid you didn’t score high enough on that SATs?”

  
  


“I’ve been trying to forget but that shit’s been bugging me since January. Now with all this bullshit, there is no way in hell I’m getting into the NASA program after school.” He kicked the piss shrub. “Most government jobs don’t take too kindly to a criminal record.”

  
  


“We just went to boot camp, you’ll be fine.” I tugged his hand, walking back to the tent.

  
  


“I don’t want to get stuck at some shitty minimum wage job or fucking data entry like dad.” The blankets puffed up after he plopped on them.

  
  


“You know that won’t happy.” When I sat, it bounced him a bit. “I’m supposed to be the dramatic one, why’s this suddenly eating you up?”

  
  


“Nothing sudden.” His finger started drawing a heart on my hip. “I just don’t want to be that loser your family is stuck with because you married some dumbass drop out.”

  
  


“So we  _ are _ getting married, eh?” That soft hair was tangling in my hands.

  
  


“I don’t know.”

  
  


There was that blank stare with flushed cheeks again. Oh, Mr. Tucker, I can read you like a coffee menu. I slid down, clinging to his side.

  
  


“Craig, even if you drop out or fuck up on your dreams, you’ll never be a loser. My family loves you, I love you. Even if everything goes wrong, you’ll always belong to me. You’re my Craig.” A smug chuckle escaped my trap. “Besides, once you’re in my family, you HAVE to work at the shop at some point.”

  
  


“Tweek? Love? You creep me out when you get all possessive like that.”

  
  


“Hm? Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-” I was interrupted.

  
  


“I didn’t say stop.”

  
  


“What? Oh uhhhhhh, you are uhhh signing a contract with Tweek Bros. We own your soul now?” This was just weird and Craig grinning like that. “You’re my b-bitch forever, Scott?”

  
  


“Pfft-I love that movie.” He yawned. “Think I’d make a good house husband?”

  
  


“Heh, sure you will. I’ll have my mom give you a spare apron.” Imagining Craig in one of my mother’s aprons and lipstick made me cringe but in a good way. “You would not pull off her shade of red.”

  
  


“Blue Coral No.5 or nothing, dude.” Those legs trapped me in the sheets with him. “How do you think you did?”

 

“Oh I know I’m not going any further than Denver for business school. I was too nervous to focus. Ack!” I jumped a bit. “I’ll probably have to do it again.”

  
  


“Well, maybe we won’t have to split up at least.” Craig crawled on top of me and stared into my eyes. “I still want to go to space with you, thought.”

  
  


“Pff, eheh...well I can take you to the moon and back….fuck that was lame.”

  
  


“Oh baby.” The dull inflection did not match his excited face. “I will gladly ride your rocket.”

  
  


There was a deafening silence for far too long. I wanted to chastise him for such a half-witted pun, but how could I with Craig smiling at me? That stupid face of his. The same nerd I fell for in the fourth grade. I snorted, then we both erupted in jubilant laughter, embracing tightly. The rain came down once again. So relaxing. It took me to my center without a struggle. Craig sank onto me, sighing against my neck. That gentle melody lulled us to sleep. Time to rest our minds; even if just for a little while. Whatever came next, we would face it together. One chapter at a time.

  
  
  


The end. Fuck you.


End file.
